One of my favourite Nollywood films whilst I was growing up was called ‘I belong amongst the Rich and Mighty’. It was about a girl that had come to University in the city and branded herself as a high-class chick on campus. She wore the latest and most expensive designer clothes and bags, drove in the best cars and dated the richest men. However, she hid a deep dark secret: she was, in fact, a village girl whose parents lived in poverty and she didn’t have a penny to her name. The persona she adopted on campus was just a façade to hide her true origins. She became an imposter because she was so ashamed of her true identity and roots.
Unfortunately, this story is not only confined to the scripts of Nollywood films. I have come across many people living in Accra who pretend to be something that they are not for various reasons: to gain acceptance from a particular social circle, to acquire some type of social status or simply out of insecurity. I know of one person in Accra, who moves with the cognoscenti, and claims to have been one of the wealthiest young men of his time. However, nobody has been able to substantiate his claims (not even him) and it is painfully obvious that his supposed origins are questionable.
It does sadden me when I see this happening but I actually can understand why people do this. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t pretended to be something that I am not but I would be lying if I said that I had not be tempted to do so at certain points in my life.
For example, when I was a newly qualified doctor I was overwhelmed with a fear of being ‘found out’. Let me explain: I thought that people expected much from me because I was a doctor when in fact I was so scared of being ‘found out’ as an imposter who claims be knowledgeable but actually isn’t. I often felt like a disappointment with my analysis (or lack of), presentation, vocabulary and the way in which I defined issues. This led me to have a crisis of confidence and I began underperforming: all because I felt like I was stupid, out of my depth and simply not good enough. I overcame this by going back to basics, reconnecting with my inner self and building the confidence to be me. I now do not make any apologies for who I am and I certainly don’t live my life according to other peoples’ expectations of me.
Although I would not recommend going through a crisis of confidence, I do think it is worthwhile to do internal audits from time to time. People need to learn to be comfortable in their own skin and not try to wear someone else’s (or, worse still, fabricate one that is neither theirs nor someone else’s). It takes a lot of guts to be true to who you are but personally I’d prefer people to hate the real me as opposed to love the fake me. It’s taken a long time to get to this point but I don’t intend to go back. You see when you go about faking it you rob yourself of the opportunity to experience the complicated splendor of life and develop genuine friendships. It prevents you from going beyond the superficial to the deeper levels of friendship. This is where the true beauty of friendship lies.
So let’s celebrate and embrace who we really are not what we think others want/ expect us to be. For all the imposters out there take your masks off, stop faking it and do REAL LIFE!
By: Jemima Nunoo/citifmonline.com/Ghana