It’s Thursday morning. Eugenia and I are still contemplating what to eat for breakfast. Should we have porridge? Should it be white or “Hausa kooko”? That means we will take lunch. Let’s take something that can sustain us till the close of work. We settle on waakye for me and jollof for Eugenia. We both had our phones on our way to get the food, once a while flipping through to see what’s new. I had a whatsapp message from one of the good friends I made when I was in the university; Mimi (Not her real name though). It was a wedding invition; she’s getting married in June.
“Oh God not another torture, not from Mimi too. I’m going to lose another friend to marriage.” Don’t get me wrong; I was very happy for her. She is one of the few whose wedding I will attend no matter what. So yes, I will attend this wedding and guess what; I’m popping champagne.
A number of friends both male and female have been married this year. I can count ten (10) off the top of my head. This is just 2015 and mind you, we are in the sixth month. Most of them, if not all, have been torturing me since they got married. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not jealous, I’m just concerned.
You were once single but now married. Please stop showing me your ring every minute we meet and telling me the different karat of your gold ring. Stop complaining about how dirty your diamond ring is as you try to show them off, how tight it is and all. Nobody really cares about that. Yes I want to know as a good friend but if all we talk about is your ring, then it leaves me feeling I should not be in touch too often. I’m tired of hearing about your ring.
Aha! Can you also stop telling me I need to settle down just because you are now married? I will get married when I think I should, when I want to, when I’m ready and not when you demand. You decided to marry so please enjoy it. I have also decided to be a spinster for now so please respect that.
I really need you to stop hooking me up with all those guys you claim to be “friends of your husband.” My reason is simple; none of them has been worth the time I have wasted in meeting them. Mind you, the fact that you are married doesn’t mean you know which type of man is the best for me.
I remember when you used to tell me all the things your partner did wrong or right before you got married. These days even if I meet you with that worried face you still tell me, “Oh we are fine, there is nothing wrong.” I am not encouraging you to share your marital issues with me but when the burden is too heavy for you, remember you can always talk to me. Know that it is entirely your choice though. I just hate to see you hurt. You can always talk to me.
I remember how long it took you to change your whatsapp display picture and status. It took you weeks. Sometimes I had to beg you to change it or forcefully snatch the phone and change it. As for your facebook profile picture it had been there for over a year. And then marriage came. The first post on facebook afterwards “I thank God for smiling at me. #officialMrsOpoku”.
These same words were your whatsapp status with a beautiful picture to match the status. The pictures continued changing with statuses to match on each social media platform. From your husband kissing you, the honeymoon smiles through to you cooking in the kitchen. Madam I am not married yet but I also cook please stop making it look like cooking is the preserve of only married women. Take as many pictures as you can, they will be useful someday. But don’t punish us with them. You don’t have to take all those pictures just for social media. But you! When did you become this active on social media? You always said you didn’t want to live your life with the whole world watch. Now you want to show off your marriage to the entire world. Times really do change.
And oh, finally I like the concept of “we” you’ve developed but there are certain things you don’t have to answer for you and your husband. It makes me feel you tell your husband everything I tell you. You know too well that to me it means you have become a gossip. The last time you told me “we have been worried about you.” All I kept thinking was “we?” you and who? Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying don’t talk about me with your husband, all I’m saying is mind what you tell him about me. Some things are personal and I tell you because you are still my friend; not so that you go telling you husband.
I’m happy you are married. I’m happy you are happy (that is if you truly are). I am not jealous; no, not at all. It’s still early days in your marriage but please don’t change to the point where it will seem I don’t know my friend anymore.
To my lovely friend Mimi, I trust you would not change so much. I wish God’s blessings as you walk down the aisle and make a home with Kwame.
Wishing you all the best
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By: Magdalene Teiko Larnyoh/citifmonline.com/Ghana