Everbody makes mistakes. Without mistakes, we would not be called humans. We would be regarded as angels. Mistakes have the power to trap us and to stagnate our progress. They also can make us retrogress. They can also make us lose our sense of confidence and respect.
Regardless of the negative effects of mistakes, it is practically impossible to live without making mistakes. However, it is possible to live beyond mistakes. The challenge is that many of us are not able to go past our mistakes. For life to be peaceful and fulfilling, we must learn how to live beyond our mistakes.
It is all right to feel bad about your mistakes but it is never all right to live in perpetual regret because of the mistakes you make. When you make a mistake, you must be able to forgive yourself so you can move on to a fresh chapter of life. Someone once asked me on my Facebook timeline, “Terry Mante, how do I forgive myself?” I showed him a four-step process which I wish to share with you.
- Acknowledge the mess: A mistake by itself could be very dangerous. However, the mistake is not as dangerous as not realizing it. Genuinely, there are people who make mistakes and don’t know they messed up. This non-realization is based on ignorance. There are also those who make mistakes and make excuses to absolve themselves of the responsibility. Such people could at best be described as proud. They are not humble enough to admit their wrongs. Then there is another group of people who see the consequences of their mistakes, yet they never take responsibility for the action or inaction that resulted in the error. Such people are probably motivated by sheer stupidity. Whether its ignorance, pride or stupidity it is dangerous to live in denial of your mistakes.
- Embrace God’s forgiveness: Acknowledging your mistake is a tough thing to do especially when you realize the negative effects of your actions, words or inactions. If what you did hurt someone, it’s important to go back and attempt to mend the bridges. Sometimes, the people will forgive you. Other times, they will not. Whether they forgive you or not, you still have to move ahead. For some people, even when they are forgiven, they find it hard to move past the error of their ways. God does not use our mistakes against us if we demonstrate remorse. God’s forgiveness is real, complete and effective. All we have to do is to embrace it.
- Glean lessons: A mistake may not be a bad thing if we learn from it and amend our ways. Making mistakes is part of the human experience. What may be considered an aberration is repeating mistakes. A person who continues to make the same mistakes is a weird person. If you repeat mistakes, it means you are not learning from them. You can make your mistakes valuable by learning from them. Don’t let any mistake pass by without learning from it. That is a wise way to live beyond your mistakes.
- Look to the future: The evidence that you have gone past your mistakes is the direction you face. Do you focus on the had-I-known phase or you focus on the it’s-possible phase? It is important to use the lessons you glean from your mistakes to construct a desirable future. Let your mistakes be a spring board for success. Don’t stay in the track of your mistakes. Be on the highway to the future.
Living with a sense of meaning and significance requires a great deal of confidence. The inability to forgive yourself undermines your confidence greatly. Today, if there is any mistake that continues to scream at you and undermine your confidence, I say to you, “Let it go.”
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By Terry Mante
Terry Mante is an author, motivational speaker and corporate trainer. Send your mails to him via [email protected].