President Mahama on Friday thanked opposition party chairman Paul Afoko and the NPP for handing them the 2016 elections on a silver platter. Mr Mahama, speaking at a victory rally organized by the NDC and his campaign team, said they were deeply indebted to the NPP Chairman, his executives and the entire Kukrudu family for such a kind gesture.
“The NPP has been unbelievably charitable this campaign season. They have contributed to the success of my re-election in unimaginable ways. I’m not sure what would have happened without their internal and timely contributions to the outcome of this race. We can only remain grateful.”
Despite unhealthy macroeconomic indicators and irregular power supply the sitting President comfortably cruised to resounding victory over his long time rival and three time presidential candidate Nana Addo Danquah Akuffo Addo.
Political experts and campaign watchers say predictions of a nail biting election were undone by the NPP’s pretty selfless decision to hand John Mahama another term. Some say such acts of generosity, though noble and exemplary, have never been witnessed in the country’s political history.
“It’s incredible. Such acts of charity are hardly the stuff of politics. This is altruism at its best. For an opposition party to so readily, consciously and decidedly forgo an election for the sake of national unity and development. This is the real meaning of patriotism. It’s just so otherworldly. Maybe too good to be true if you ask me” said Dr. Kwadwo Asante, Director of the International Center for Multiparty Politics and Liberal Democracy.
A Professor of political science speaking on condition of anonymity echoed similar sentiments:
“There’s no theory to explain it. None. This is a case study in political self-immolation,” the Professor said.
In prepared statements to the press the NPP said they had taken many things into consideration and had decided the country was better off without a bruising, expensive and nail biting election.
The party intimated that their love for Ghana was so deep that they were ready to sacrifice the 2016 elections. “This country is better off with or without us”, the statement read.
Electoral observers say this is perhaps the easiest and most straightforward election in the country’s history. “Mahama didn’t have to campaign. He didn’t have to stress out. He just needed to show up,”said Anthony Tetteh, a political and social analyst.
“This is the biggest gift I’ve ever received in my entire life”, said an emotional and clearly surprised President Mahama while fighting back tears. “I will never forget what Hon. Afoko and the NPP have done for me, my family and my party”.
PS: This is political satire. The piece is purely meant to be humorous and exaggerated. It’s meant to be placed within the purview of entertainment politics–making politics funny and engaging by using a lighter or less formal approach.
PS II: It should be noted that the piece takes the view that though events in the NPP could affect their fortunes, they’re by no means a fait accompli. Things could change. The current happenings in the NPP may most likely give the NDC a head start.
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By: Etse Sikanku/citifmonline.com/Ghana