Just because you saw it in a movie once, it doesn’t mean it isn’t weird in real life. 10 things guys do that girls don’t really find romantic.
1. Any kind of heart jewelry. Men stop learning what to buy for gifts after we hit the sixth grade. Puberty scrambled up our brains pretty well, so we didn’t have time to learn about concepts like “being thoughtful.” Which is why jewelry with any kind of heart design on it is a go-to for men who can’t come up with good gifts.
2. Stuffed teddy bears. This is OK to do if he won it at a carnival game for a dollar. If he gives it to you in any other situation, it’s not OK because he could have won it for you at a carnival game for a dollar.
3. Fighting over you. Blame Road House or This Means War or Love Fighters for making men think it’s romantic as all hell to get in another fight with a guy over you and then get arrested for assault and do two years time. There’s nothing romantic about conjugal visits.
4. Playing “Wonderwall.” If you are a woman and you’ve been single sometime between 1995 and now, someone has played you “Wonderwall” on their acoustic guitar in an attempt to get in your pants. And, unless that person was Noel Gallagher, it was probably terrible.
5. Terrible home-cooked meals. Sure, putting in the effort and having a three-course home-cooked meal can be great, but no man should force anyone to choke down burnt chicken by candlelight. Nothing is romantic about spending a weekend with food poisoning.
6. Public proposals. These can be romantic, but not if pressure and social situations give you anxiety. This isn’t a “tree falls in the woods” kind of case. Things can be romantic without a hundred people witnessing it.
7. Buying anything that requires some kind of serious commitment. You know what sounds romantic? A new car for Christmas. You know what isn’t romantic? Starting off the new year with crushing debt. Animals, houses, and anything that costs as much as a year’s worth of mortgage payments probably is not something he should be buying for you.
8. Scaring the crap out of you. There’s nothing cute about sneaking up behind you and scaring you while you’re making a salad. That’s how people get stabbed.
9. Tickle fights. Tickle fights are lots of forced laughter and labored breathing and then someone gets reflexively punched in the eye.
10. Last-minute confessions of love. How many of your vacations have been ruined because someone thought it was a great time to pour their heart out to you and you awkwardly have to tell them you don’t feel the same way?