We use the noun ‘father’ on a regular basis, quite loosely, one might dare to say; but who is a father?
Many might say that the concept is simple and overtly scientific, that a father is someone, who has a child which he helped a woman to conceive, via the fertilization of one of her eggs with one of his spermatozoa.
And many others, probably most people around the world, might argue that fatherhood supersedes what Science stipulates, in that a father is always there for his children, cheering them on in the game of life, advising them, based on his varied experiences, granting a shoulder for them to cry upon, when their hearts are troubled.
“Nobody is taught to be a father,” Dr. Charles J. Buckman asserted in an interview with Jessica on the Traffic Avenue, in a celebratory run-up towards Fathers’ Day, which falls on Sunday, June 15th, this year.
“The [ability to father a child, successfully, is a skill that is acquired on the job.] You only learn to be a father by actually being a father.”
Dr. Buckman, an expert on and activist for effective parenting, listed the five pillars of fatherhood as being Faith, Family, Friends, Finances and Future.
He also said that a man’s Spouse is a plus to this list.
Furthermore, Dr. Buckman maintains that a father’s role is to direct, to provide, to correct and to protect, based on the pillars of fatherhood.
“The saying goes that a family that prays together, stays together. Faith is [an invaluable tool in sustaining the father-child bond and it’s the father, who must lead in this regard,] as the head of the home,” advises Dr. Buckman.
“A father is tasked to choose his friends wisely. He should have supportive friends, who are ever willing to share parental experiences, friends who are interested in the well-being of your kids.”
Dr. Buckman went on to elaborate on the importance of finances in fatherhood:
” In order to provide education, shelter, food, toys, clothes and many other things for your children, you need money. So a father has to work hard; but you must also teach your kids about finances and get them to spend wisely and to develop a culture of saving, from a very early age. Let them understand the value of money and that it is hard work that produces it.”
Additionally, the activist and motivational speaker outlined the teachings of his book, “21 Ways to be a fabulous father”. The first lesson of the piece encourages fathers to respect the mothers of their children.
“When fathers treat mothers badly, the frustrated mother most likely takes it out on the children,” he lamented.
Other lessons from his elaborate handbook-of-sorts encapsulate spending quality time with your children, leading your children by example, earning the right to be heard by your children, realizing that a father’s job is never done, and a host of others.
Dr. Buckman also urged fathers to use seasons of excitement, such as the 2014 World Cup tournament, to spend quality time with their children.
“Fathers need to be a present force in their children’s lives and [not a distant shadow]. Spend time with your kids, no matter how old they get, or [how many greys you grow].”
Dr. Buckman wrapped it all up with some news for every child, who has ever wondered why his or her father seems not to care:”And children, celebrate and appreciate your fathers, every day. You can begin with Fathers’ Day, this year. If your father feels needed in your life, then he will [make it a point to show up and stay forever].”
By: Apiorkor Seyiram Ashong/citifmonline.com/Ghana