It happens to the best of us. It’s late at night and you’re having sex with your spouse — as quietly as you possibly can. But just as things are getting exciting you hear a creak and a “Mommy … ?”EEEK!
Your child walked in on you having sex! There you both are, naked, and in a position that’s very hard to explain. Plenty of experts have written about how to handle your child when that happens.
But you know what? The kid will be okay. What I’m more concerned about is how you’re supposed to resume the sex after you’ve put the little one back to bed.
Here are 6 tips for getting back into your sexual groove after your child has walked in on you.
1. Don’t give in to a downward spiral of exasperation. “Don’t let frustration get the best of you,” Myers says. You may want to start ranting, “Why can’t we EVER have a moment alone?!?” But nip that in the bud. Avoid using those big words like “never” and “ever.”
2. Divide and conquer so you can keep your mind in a sexy state. While one of you (preferably your husband) sends your child back to bed, you do whatever you need to do to stay in the mood. Keep touching yourself, pick up some porn, whatever it takes to “keep your head in the game,” as Myers puts it.
3. Don’t talk about what just happened. “Kiddie talk is usually libido-crushing,” Myers says. You can talk about why your child woke up, how you got her back to sleep, whether or not she needs therapy now (just kidding!) in the morning. But not now.
4. Have a stay-sexy mantra. Find a phrase that keeps you in the mood, like “I’m feeling so hot now” or “nothing can stop me!” Nothing can stop you, sexy mama! I’m serious, mantras help.
5. Return to the same “kind” of sex you were having. If you were having soft, romantic type sex, start by coming face to face and just breathing together, then move on to kissing. If you were having hot lava sex, find something to spark that energy: A toy, props, anything you know will bring back that heightened sense of arousal.
6. Most importantly, be present. Myers emphasizes that the most important thing is that you find a way to become present again. Set aside your feelings of embarrassment or worry for the moment and just try to reignite that connection. Remind yourself, “no matter what happens, our time together is a priority.” Put the focus back on your relationship.
Source: The Stir