I\u2019m tired of the tropes.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m tired of the stereotypes.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m tired of being put in a box I can never escape.<\/p>\n
I hope we will learn to identify the stereotypes created for us to puppet to: At one point women were \u2018too delicate\u2019 and \u2018precious\u2019 [Insert the allegory of the Virgin Mary here]<\/strong> to go out and discover the world. In fact, woman was elevated so high she was useless. She remained locked away at home, a bedwarmer to the \u2018conqueror\u2019 man.<\/p>\n Then another stereotype developed, the sexy vixen, who isn\u2019t afraid to bare all her juicy goodies and indulge in her deeply sexual self. But the sexy vixen should not hope to be married. She\u2019s too cheap for that holy institution [Insert: double standards]. <\/strong><\/p>\n Then there\u2019s the \u2018good girl\u2019 who is definitely a virgin till marriage. Doesn\u2019t go out, doesn\u2019t drink, or dance or have opinions or have a life. She will definitely be the pick for the \u2018highest honour\u2019 of marriage. She is man\u2019s ideal of the \u2018perfect woman for marriage\u2019. But, of course, she is the last choice for business conducted outside <\/em>of marriage .<\/p>\n And we have the \u2018cool girl\u2019 who is every man\u2019s dream. Who is the cool girl? The cool girl is just the right amounts of sexy vixen and good girl. She\u2019s a vixen under the sheets, but \u2018good\u2019 on the outside. She\u2019s tailored to meet her man\u2019s every need. She never complains when her humanity is being trampled upon or when she\u2019s being disrespected, \u2019cuz she\u2019s the cool girl!<\/p>\n I hope a day will come when women are released from the prison of the patriarchal system; when we ourselves no longer propagate woman stereotypes handed to us by a patriarchal system. I hope we just be ourselves, even if it\u2019s a little mix of good, wild, crazy, sexy, moody, frustrated or\u00a0 staying-in-my-peejays-all-day-today.<\/p>\n I hope today women learn to understand more about themselves and their history and their CENTRE in that history.<\/p>\n I hope armed with that knowledge we will begin to understand that certain conditions we live in today are not to be taken as your inevitable burden: being touched sexually at work, being reduced to just your sexual organ, being generally viewed as of much less worth than men and being paid less because of that, your menstrual cycle being used as an excuse to reduce your worth and capability, that your being married is a rite of passage into domestic slavery, despite your various laurels and career advancements. You don\u2019t need that shit.<\/p>\n I hope parents today would unlearn their inherited faulty notions of gender roles. I hope when you tell your daughter to sweep, you tell your son to sweep as well. When you keep Ama in to learn how to cook, it is not to learn to cook for a husband in some distant future; it is to teach her for her own good, to learn cook for herself when she becomes independent. I also hope you keep Kofi in to teach him to cook too. \u00a0After all, it is essential to his<\/em> survival to know how to feed himself, basic law of nature. Even the beasts of the wild know that.<\/p>\n I hope marriage becomes no longer about an escape from the policing of your parents to the policing of your husband. Same prison.<\/p>\n Mother and wife may not be my ultimate calling as a woman. And that\u2019s not a big deal. I\u2019m not a freak of nature. I\u2019m actually a human being just like you who has a mind that thinks of not just my womb, but the world and my contribution to it, about the universe and where humanity begins and ends, about political and economical systems and which might work for my country. I think, and I\u2019m capable of so much more than just my womb.<\/p>\n But sometimes, my calling may be to being a mother and wife. And it\u2019s as simple as that. We\u2019re all different yet equally important fingers of the same hand. But it doesn\u2019t mean because it\u2019s my <\/em>calling, it\u2019s the calling for every woman.\u00a0 Just because my brother likes skip on one foot doesn\u2019t mean I conclude that every man likes to skip on one foot.<\/p>\n When I marry you, I come to you as your WIFE<\/em>, not your domestic slave to take up where was left off, to clean up and cook after you and mind our <\/em>kids. Even if I love to clean, rub and dust, we\u2019re sharing our lives and home together. It is a partnership, and all our now shared human needs and tiny ittie bitties become a shared responsibility. Especially when I have a 9-to-5 just like you do.<\/p>\n I hope to God we stop the slut-shaming and finger-pointing. I\u2019m tired of the double standards. I\u2019m tired of men being allowed to cheat blatantly on their women, because \u2018it\u2019s how men are\u2019 yet women are punished severely for daring to breach their \u2018designated boundary\u2019.<\/p>\n I hope fervently that we come to learn that if I\u2019m in a short skirt, it is not an excuse for you to help me strip my body bare and expose my parts. There\u2019s a reason I left some of it covered. Hell, if I wanted to walk out totally naked, I wouldn\u2019t need your help. \u00a0Erase that barbaric, savage mentality. \u00a0There\u2019s a reason why you\u2019re not in some forest, scratching your armpits and flitting from tree to tree.\u00a0 Don\u2019t reduce your humanity and in the process insult mine.<\/p>\n When a woman is raped, questions like \u201cWhy was she dressed like that in the first place?\u201d \u201cWhy did she go over to his house in the first place?\u201d \u201cWhy was she there at that time?\u201d are expressions of shameful ignorance. What you imply by making such illegitimate enquiries is to suggest that men who rape are animals and not human beings, incapable of control, lacking of a brain, so deserve to be put on a dog leash, kept in a cage and fed twice a day on a metal plate.<\/p>\n I\u2019m tired of women fighting against themselves, backbiting, obstructing and affecting the progress of any other woman (or man for that matter). The idea that \u2018women are their own enemies\u2019 is a clever way of turning us against ourselves, because you know what happens when there is infighting amongst women? The dream we\u2019re fighting for remains an illusion. What is the dream? To be put back in our place as human beings of equal worth. That destructive idea is another of those patriarchal lies sown deep into our membranes to hinder our progress.<\/p>\n I\u2019m tired of the \u201cOh dear Mr. Man, please decide for me what path my life is to take!\u201d You\u2019re a being of incredible power. You can literally move mountains if you wanted to, place a goddamn hill in your living room if you chose. You can transcend time and space. Don\u2019t squeeze your five dimensional self into a one dimensional shadow of yourself. Now that\u2019s<\/em> a freak of nature.<\/p>\n I\u2019m tired of you thinking you can bully me on the road because I\u2019m a female driver. I\u2019m no different. Put my life in danger, and I will scream every profanity I know on you. And you will shut up, take it all in and apologize. I\u2019m tired that there\u2019s a stereotype of \u201cWomen drivers\u201d [said with a frustrated or irritated shake of your head].<\/p>\n I\u2019m tired of the TV tropes. I\u2019m tired of being the one that stays at home and worries about the safety of my man as he <\/em>goes out to discover the universe or conquer the bad guys or aliens or whatever. Can\u2019t I help in the discovery and conquering too?<\/p>\n I hope with all my heart that the hypocrisy institutionalized religion uses to suppress one side of humanity (womanhood) for the selfish self-aggrandizement of the other is recognized for what it is: a hypocrisy, a dangerous evil, a sheep in wolf\u2019s clothing, a violation and opportunistic attempt to control the mind using the divinity of religion.<\/p>\n I hope everyone all over the world comes to understand the reality that MISOGYNY IS A VIRUS. This virus will destroy humanity if we allow it to continue to fester in our thoughts and beliefs and in our actions.<\/p>\n I hope these words will not be stereotyped, and thrown on infertile ground, wasted. I hope you read this with all senses of your humanity about you. I hope you understand that by living with the faulty notions of patriarchy and misogyny you hinder political, economic, social, spiritual growth of humanity. We are god-like beings. To hinder another from their total potential is an unforgivable crime to ourselves.<\/p>\n I hope we learn to unlearn the lies we have been taught.<\/p>\n I hope you understand that woman is man and man is woman and together we make a powerful creation: Humanity.<\/p>\n A wise person once said, \u201cLove your neighbor as yourself\u201d. I think that sums up everything nicely!<\/p>\n Happy International Women\u2019s Day! Make it Happen!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Author: Akosua Hansen<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m tired of the tropes. I\u2019m tired of the stereotypes. I\u2019m tired of being put in a box I can never escape. I hope we will learn to identify the stereotypes created for us to puppet to: At one point women were \u2018too delicate\u2019 and \u2018precious\u2019 [Insert the allegory of the Virgin Mary here] to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":96909,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[8],"yoast_head":"\n