{"id":9681,"date":"2014-03-30T08:36:55","date_gmt":"2014-03-30T08:36:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=9681"},"modified":"2014-03-30T08:36:55","modified_gmt":"2014-03-30T08:36:55","slug":"why-you-might-not-be-getting-the-love-you-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/why-you-might-not-be-getting-the-love-you-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Why you might not be getting the love you want"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"f3707a777d3a538ac4c5a3ec97b717ce_L\"<\/a>There\u2019s a common relationship misconception that, learning the truth now will save you from unnecessary heartache and frustration.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We women, nurturers that we are, erroneously think that the more we take care of a man and pay attention to him, the more he will take care of us.<\/p>\n

We do this even from the beginning of relationships, and especially if we are really taken with a man \u2013 we\u2019ll make him the center of our lives, start re-arranging plans to be with him, and generally put him first in the false belief that he will do the same for us.<\/p>\n

But this often has the unintentional effect of pushing a man away \u2013 sometimes for good. \u00a0The obvious reason for this is that a man will feel pressured in the relationship and will start to resist your efforts for closeness.<\/p>\n

But there\u2019s another subtle shift that happens you may not be aware of\u2026and that may be working against you.<\/p>\n

A healthy man isn\u2019t attracted to a woman who doesn\u2019t take care of herself. You can look and act as independent as you want \u2013 by working hard at your job and keeping your house clean \u2013 but he can tell if you\u2019re not taking care of your basic needs for peace, relaxation, health, and time to just be.<\/p>\n

He can tell that you\u2019re not filling yourself up. \u00a0And then he feels horribly pressured to fill you up. Whether you ever ask him to or not \u2013 he\u2019s waiting for the shoe to drop.<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll take what you give him, but he\u2019ll withdraw for fear of when you\u2019re going to ask him for payback.<\/p>\n

When you start putting a man first, then something immediately gets relegated to second: \u00a0you. \u00a0If you\u2019re not taking care of yourself, you\u2019ll either push away your man or desensitise him to your needs and feelings.<\/p>\n

Over time, you become angry, and it starts showing up in all your interactions with him.<\/p>\n

When you give and give to a man without feeling reciprocated, all that bottled-up resentment actually makes you cold to him without you even realising it.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not simply angry at him for neglecting you and not pulling his weight in the relationship. \u00a0What\u2019s really happening here is that you\u2019re angry with yourself for not putting yourself first to begin with.<\/p>\n

A man will treat you the way you treat yourself, so the most effective way to get a man to treat you better is to start taking better care of yourself.<\/p>\n

You have to take care of yourself in the way that feels good to you. \u00a0For some of us, it\u2019s going to the movies, cooking and baking, lying in a bathtub full of bubbles and oils, taking a walk among others.<\/p>\n

It could be reading a book in the corner, lying in bed for an hour in the morning, or staying up late when everyone else is asleep.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s about staying in touch with friends and family who make us feel good\u2026and staying away from the friends and family who don\u2019t make us feel good.<\/p>\n

So, how can you find out what it is that makes you feel good? What is it that you can call \u201ctaking care of myself\u201d?<\/p>\n

Start this way:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Write down a long list of everything you could possibly do that would make you feel good and taken care of.<\/p>\n

You can schedule a doctor\u2019s appointment. You can schedule a manicure. You can schedule some time to do a favourite hobby or sport. You can schedule an hour when you will say no to everyone else and just do what you want to do.<\/p>\n

A woman who takes care of herself and has a healthy self-esteem naturally makes a man want to please her and keep her happy.<\/p>\n

Once you start putting yourself first, notice how it changes your relationship with a man. See how he looks at you a little bit differently.<\/p>\n

When he realises that you\u2019re not relying on him for your happiness, the pressure is lifted; and he will naturally start coming closer to you and taking even better care of you than before.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source:\u00a0graphic.com.gh<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s a common relationship misconception that, learning the truth now will save you from unnecessary heartache and frustration. We women, nurturers that we are, erroneously think that the more we take care of a man and pay attention to him, the more he will take care of us. We do this even from the beginning […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":9682,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\nWhy you might not be getting the love you want - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. 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