{"id":9517,"date":"2014-03-28T17:20:24","date_gmt":"2014-03-28T17:20:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=9517"},"modified":"2014-03-28T17:22:25","modified_gmt":"2014-03-28T17:22:25","slug":"how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/","title":{"rendered":"How to dump someone you’re casually dating"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"1964805_10152260925752708_1622096681_n\"<\/a>You’re not exclusive, but you’ve been going out for a few months and owe him a face-to-face breakup. Or you could just hire a skywriter to spell out DEAR MIKE, IT’S OVER. No really though, here is advice.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Choose your place wisely.<\/strong>\u00a0Is it a weekday that\u2019s not Thursday or Friday? Because any bar will do, unless it\u2019s so crowded that you have to shout. Stay away from anyplace where groups of art school students arrive in herds and Instagram their mango-cilantro margaritas \u2014 they will take notes on their phones and incorporate the dialogue into their webseries.<\/p>\n

Also stay away from places that have slow service.<\/strong>\u00a0Right before I break up with someone in a bar, I think about all those movies and TV shows where a bartender protagonist has to step away to tend to an angry girlfriend\/boyfriend or some other plot point as Tegan and Sara plays in the background, and I am stricken with fear that it will take forever to get drinks and the check. It’s like someone about to go into surgery, watching two doctors on Grey\u2019s Anatomyhave a soap-opera fight while standing over a person whose chest is cut open.<\/p>\n

Make it drinks, not dinner.<\/strong>\u00a0For the love of all that\u2019s holy. If you\u2019re like \u201cFirst let\u2019s hold hands and spoon-feed each other couscous for an hour, then after dinner I\u2019ll end it,\u201d you are either Leopold or Loeb and seeya in hell.<\/p>\n

It should be by whatever transportation you need to get home. Grease up that escape hatch and sliiiiide right in.<\/p>\n

Show up early.<\/strong>\u00a0You definitely want to be sitting and prepared for the conversation \u2014 it\u2019ll throw you off if you show up late and frazzled and he\u2019s already there, waiting. Just come like 15 minutes early and have one drink if you feel like it. No more than one, or else when he shows up, you\u2019ll forget the censored version of your breakup speech (\u201cI\u2019m not in a place for a relationship right now\u201d or \u201cI just need to focus on myself\/my job\/my cockatoo\u201d) and just blurt out the truth (\u201cYou can\u2019t keep your penis hard,\u201d \u201cYour favorite show is Burn Notice, like your favorite show of ALL TIME.\u201d)<\/p>\n

Remember that dumping is sort of like a job interview \u2014 you need to present a certain version of yourself.<\/strong>\u00a0In a job interview, when they\u2019re like \u201cWhat\u2019s your biggest flaw?\u201d you can\u2019t really say \u201cI show up to work hungover and have so much crippling anxiety about booking my boss\u2019s hotel room and flight that I just hide forms in a drawer in my desk for months and hope I\u2019m gone by the time they notice.\u201d But you also can\u2019t completely lie and say \u201cI\u2019m a perfectionist,\u201d because that’s not true. We both know it’s just not. Basically, tell as much of the truth about why you want to end it as you can without hurting the person’s feelings to much. And make your reasoning mostly about you so you don’t antagonize the person.<\/p>\n

Do not mince words.<\/strong>\u00a0Rip it off like a Band-Aid. \u201cI don\u2019t think we should see each other anymore\u201d is pretty effective, although I’ve also found that “I have contagious old-timey hooker crotch rot” cuts the need for explanation by half.<\/p>\n

Do not be fazed by how the person reacts.<\/strong>\u00a0Stand your ground, even if they look like a hapless kitten staring into the oncoming light of a tractor-trailer, which is very likely.<\/p>\n

Dip as soon as you can.<\/strong>\u00a0Since this is very likely the last conversation with this guy that you will ever have, and he is also half-hoping that you will get hammered enough to have sad but vigorous Bruce Springsteen-singing-\u201cGlory Days\u201d-esque Final Sex with him. Finish your drink, say \u201cI should get out of here,\u201d and book it to train that is super-conveniently nearby because you took my genius advice. Or go to J.Crew, it doesn\u2019t really matter.<\/p>\n

Don’t offer to stay friends.<\/strong>\u00a0We all know how it is when we like someone who just wants to \u201cbe friends.\u201d Learn from past gut-wrenching encounters in which you have been in their shoes, and don\u2019t assume you can seamlessly transition into one of those sad, one-sided platonic things where you go to brunch with him when your friends bail and he becomes your longing, neutered \u201creally sweet guy friend\u201d who tells you that you look great in that shirt and gazes too long at your face when you get high and doze off on his couch. If it happens way later on, it happens \u2014 but right now it’s too fresh off the breakup to be healthy.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source: Cosmopolitan.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You’re not exclusive, but you’ve been going out for a few months and owe him a face-to-face breakup. Or you could just hire a skywriter to spell out DEAR MIKE, IT’S OVER. No really though, here is advice. Choose your place wisely.\u00a0Is it a weekday that\u2019s not Thursday or Friday? Because any bar will do, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":9518,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\nHow to dump someone you're casually dating - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to dump someone you're casually dating - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You’re not exclusive, but you’ve been going out for a few months and owe him a face-to-face breakup. Or you could just hire a skywriter to spell out DEAR MIKE, IT’S OVER. No really though, here is advice. Choose your place wisely.\u00a0Is it a weekday that\u2019s not Thursday or Friday? Because any bar will do, […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/citi97.3\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-03-28T17:20:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-03-28T17:22:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/1964805_10152260925752708_1622096681_n.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"397\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"540\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jonas Nyabor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@citi973\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@citi973\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jonas Nyabor\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/\",\"name\":\"How to dump someone you're casually dating - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-03-28T17:20:24+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-03-28T17:22:25+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to dump someone you’re casually dating\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/\",\"name\":\"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\",\"description\":\"Ghana News | Ghana Politics | Ghana Soccer | Ghana Showbiz\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b\",\"name\":\"Jonas Nyabor\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Jonas Nyabor\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/author\/jonas\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to dump someone you're casually dating - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to dump someone you're casually dating - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","og_description":"You’re not exclusive, but you’ve been going out for a few months and owe him a face-to-face breakup. Or you could just hire a skywriter to spell out DEAR MIKE, IT’S OVER. No really though, here is advice. Choose your place wisely.\u00a0Is it a weekday that\u2019s not Thursday or Friday? Because any bar will do, […]","og_url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/","og_site_name":"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/citi97.3","article_published_time":"2014-03-28T17:20:24+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-03-28T17:22:25+00:00","og_image":[{"width":397,"height":540,"url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/1964805_10152260925752708_1622096681_n.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Jonas Nyabor","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@citi973","twitter_site":"@citi973","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Jonas Nyabor","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/","url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/","name":"How to dump someone you're casually dating - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-03-28T17:20:24+00:00","dateModified":"2014-03-28T17:22:25+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/how-to-dump-someone-youre-casually-dating\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to dump someone you’re casually dating"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/","name":"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","description":"Ghana News | Ghana Politics | Ghana Soccer | Ghana Showbiz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b","name":"Jonas Nyabor","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Jonas Nyabor"},"url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/author\/jonas\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9517"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9518"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}