{"id":936,"date":"2014-02-19T10:40:57","date_gmt":"2014-02-19T10:40:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/citi.hatuasolutions.com\/?p=936"},"modified":"2014-02-26T17:45:34","modified_gmt":"2014-02-26T17:45:34","slug":"friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/","title":{"rendered":"Friends with benefits: What you need to know"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"friends<\/a>If you\u2019re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it’s not so simple.<\/p>\n

\u2022 If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably not survive<\/p>\n

\u2022 If you’ve done it before, and you know you can keep your feelings in check, you might be successful, but what about your friend? Are you sure he or she is aware of his or her own feelings and motives?<\/p>\n

\u2022 Think about it in advance and talk about it a lot<\/p>\n

\u2022 Are you going to keep dating others while you’re doing this FWB thing?<\/p>\n

\u2022 What if one of you falls in love with someone else?<\/p>\n

\u2022 What if you just want out of the deal after a while?<\/p>\n

\u2022 What if only one of you falls in love, instead of remaining friends?<\/p>\n

Keep talking throughout the FWB arrangement It sounds a lot more fun and easier than it really is.<\/p>\n

The benefit is being able to have sex with someone you know, rather than a stranger. The disadvantages are: It could be the end of the friendship. One person (usually the woman) could fall in love, while the other (usually the man) doesn’t want to pursue more of a relationship. It may keep you from finding a real relationship, because you’re too comfortable to look.<\/p>\n

For men, FWB is what they want — sex without responsibility. They also tend to take it for granted, and still be attracted to other women.<\/p>\n

Most males have fantasies about having all the women they want. Women, on the other hand, tend to become emotionally attached when they have sex. (Men actually do, too, but they don’t want to know they are.<\/p>\n

That’s why they often don’t realize they feel something for someone until that person is gone.) Women’s fantasies are about a monogamous relationship.<\/p>\n

If you start to develop feelings, pay attention! Don’t ignore it. Let your partner know, and watch the reaction. If you don’t get a positive response, cut off the sex. That’s the way to see if the other person is also emotionally attached or not.<\/p>\n

Don’t languish in a friends-with-benefits relationship when you want more. If he suddenly meets someone else and marries her, you’ll be devastated.<\/p>\n

If you want to cut off the sex, you need to explain why you’re doing it. \u201cI’m developing deeper feelings for you, and since you don’t seem to return them, I have to stop having sex with you. I’d like to still be friends.\u201d Or, \u201cI can’t even be your friend for a while, because I’m grieving.\u201d<\/p>\n

Maintaining this type of relationship is not easy for anyone. It only seems easy at the beginning. My office is full of people who had their hearts broken this way. Older people tend to be a little wiser and more cautious about it than younger people, but all ages get hurt.<\/p>\n

Don’t just let things develop on their own. Definitely talk about it beforehand, or as soon as possible. You need to establish that the friendship is important to both of you, and you don’t want to ruin it. You also need to talk about feelings, to open that subject for future discussion.<\/p>\n

\u2022 If you want to turn a friendship into a full-on relationship, and you\u2019re serious about it, then you need to talk about that, too. Your friendship will be altered forever when you have sex for the first time. You have things to lose here, and things to gain.<\/p>\n

\u2022Make some agreements, discuss the above questions, and keep talking about it.<\/p>\n

Back to being friends<\/strong><\/p>\n

Friendships that go from friends to lovers back to friends can be very close, because you know each other so well. The first thing you need to do is talk about it. Make a deal that you won’t do anything that would jeopardize your friendship, and stick to it. (That means, acting as a friend, and not acting jealous if he\/she has a date.)<\/p>\n

The more emotionally mature you are, the easier it is to re-establish the friendship. Openness increases intimacy. So friends who can talk about everything feel closer than friends who can’t.<\/p>\n

However, friendships have more limits on sharing than lover relationships do. If you\u2019ve found someone new, you have to consider your sexual partner, too, who might not like his or her privacy invaded.<\/p>\n

It is possible to re-develop a friendship after the romantic line has been crossed, but it’s not always easy. If both of you are in agreement that you were better as friends, re-developing the friendship is easier than if one of you still wants the romance.
\nSurprisingly enough, many people do become friends again after they’ve divorced or split up. Here are some guidelines for doing that successfully.<\/p>\n

So, your ex has been hanging around, helping you out with things around the house, eating dinner with you and the kids, or just calling you up to talk about good times in the past. Old, friendly feelings seem to be coming back. Can you really revert to being friends? Here\u2019s how to see if you and your ex can make it work.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Go very slowly. It takes time to get re-organized as friends. Talk about your friendship and tell the truth. If it\u2019s going to work, it goes better if you go more slowly, and you\u2019ll have a chance to build a better foundation than before.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Treat it like a new friendship. Start from the beginning, and do it differently\u2014you have to figure out the difference between being lovers and being friends.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Be conscious about being friends\u2014talk about what you miss about your friendship\u2014if you cannot talk honestly about what changed and what to do differently, you won\u2019t succeed.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Make sure your friend wants the friendship as much as you do. If there are unresolved old feelings, you need to talk about them.<\/p>\n

\u2022 If you run into difficulty, seek therapy to repair the friendship and resolve the lover relationship.<\/p>\n

Source: Yourtango<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it’s not so simple. \u2022 If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":2531,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\nFriends with benefits: What you need to know - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Friends with benefits: What you need to know - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you\u2019re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it’s not so simple. \u2022 If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/citi97.3\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-02-19T10:40:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-02-26T17:45:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefit.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"378\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"334\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Jonas Nyabor\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@citi973\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@citi973\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Jonas Nyabor\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/\",\"name\":\"Friends with benefits: What you need to know - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-02-19T10:40:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-02-26T17:45:34+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Friends with benefits: What you need to know\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/\",\"name\":\"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always\",\"description\":\"Ghana News | Ghana Politics | Ghana Soccer | Ghana Showbiz\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b\",\"name\":\"Jonas Nyabor\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Jonas Nyabor\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/author\/jonas\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Friends with benefits: What you need to know - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Friends with benefits: What you need to know - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","og_description":"If you\u2019re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it’s not so simple. \u2022 If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will probably […]","og_url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/","og_site_name":"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/citi97.3","article_published_time":"2014-02-19T10:40:57+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-02-26T17:45:34+00:00","og_image":[{"width":378,"height":334,"url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefit.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Jonas Nyabor","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@citi973","twitter_site":"@citi973","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Jonas Nyabor","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/","url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/","name":"Friends with benefits: What you need to know - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-02-19T10:40:57+00:00","dateModified":"2014-02-26T17:45:34+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/02\/friends-with-benefits-what-you-need-to-know\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Friends with benefits: What you need to know"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/","name":"Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always","description":"Ghana News | Ghana Politics | Ghana Soccer | Ghana Showbiz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/476b2fb2e9233445afbfa2662d85fe6b","name":"Jonas Nyabor","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b74e004fce505330b7ba17aeaae177b3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Jonas Nyabor"},"url":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/author\/jonas\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=936"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}