In my private practice I often see affluent families struggling with wanting to raise \u201cgrateful and unspoiled children\u201d despite being wealthy, going on lavish vacations, having beautiful homes and owning the latest gadgets, toys and luxury cars.<\/p>\n
They ask me if it is really possible and my answer is \u201cYes, but you are going to have to work hard at it.\u201d I call it intentional\u00a0parenting\u00a0and it takes discipline to pull it off.<\/p>\n
So, here is my list of the top 10 things around which you need to have clarity and consistent follow through in order to raise unspoiled children.<\/p>\n
Say no \u2026 often.<\/strong>\u00a0Practice delayed gratification and simply not always giving your children what they want, even if you can easily afford it.<\/p>\n Expect gratitude.<\/strong>\u00a0Go beyond teaching your child to say please and thank you. Also teach them eye contact, a proper hand shake, affection and appreciation for the kind and generous things that are said and given to them. If this does not happen, have them return the gift (either to the person or to you for safe keeping) and explain that they aren\u2019t yet ready to receive such a gift.<\/p>\n Practice altruism yourself.<\/strong>\u00a0Donate clothes and toys to those in need (not just to your neighbors when it\u2019s easy and they have younger children!) and have your kids be a part of that process. Do this regularly as a family and sort through, package and deliver the goods together so the kids really see where their things are going. Do this often and not just around the holidays.<\/p>\n Be mindful of the company you keep.\u00a0<\/strong>If you only hang around other affluent families who are not raising their kids with intention, you may be surrounding yourself with those who will not help out with what you are trying to accomplish. Be sure family or friends you are spending significant time with have similar values to yours, otherwise you are going to feel defeated after a while.<\/p>\n Write thank you cards.<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, handwritten on paper with a pen! Kids these days generally have shorter attention spans, are easily distracted and aren\u2019t taught to take careful time and attention to express their appreciation. This simple yet important act can go a long way as a skill to teach expression of feelings and thoughtfulness.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t catch every fall.<\/strong>\u00a0Practice natural consequences from an early age \u2014 share some of your own experiences and teach them lessons such as \u201clife is not fair.\u201d In addition, don\u2019t over-protect them from disappointments. You have to really understand and believe that failing and falling is a part successful childhood development.<\/p>\n Resist the urge to buy multiples of things.<\/strong>\u00a0Just because you can doesn\u2019t mean that you should! Don\u2019t buy four American Girl Dolls\u2014buy just one and have your child love and appreciate what they have.<\/p>\n Talk to their grandparents and explain your intentions to them.<\/strong>\u00a0Share with them your desires to have respectful, appreciative, kind and responsible children and the ways in which you are going to achieve that goal. You will need their help in doing this if they are like most grandparents who want to spoil their grandkids! Ask them to spoil them with love, time, affection and attention\u2014not toys, treats and money.<\/p>\n Teach them the value of money.<\/strong>\u00a0Have your child manage their money through saving, giving to charity\/others and then spending.\u00a0 If you do this from an early age you are truly setting a foundation of responsible wealth management.<\/p>\n Share your story.<\/strong>\u00a0Last but not least, you should tell your kids the legacy of your family\u2019s fortune. When I say wealth or fortune, that is all relative. If you come from significant wealth tell the story of how that was earned and created. If you are self-made, tell that story too\u2014just don\u2019t forget that \u201cgiving your kids everything that you didn\u2019t have\u201d is not always a good thing. There is probably a lot that you learned along the way by stumbling to make you the person you are today.<\/p>\n And at the end of the day, if you have a spoiled child\u2014one who relentlessly nags, cries and throws a huge fit when they do not get what they want\u2014you only have yourself to blame!<\/p>\n Stop giving in and start applying most if not all of these values and approaches. You will have greater enjoyment in being a parent, your child will be happier and better adjusted and there will be greater peace and love in your home. And that is something money cannot buy.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Source: Yourtango.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In my private practice I often see affluent families struggling with wanting to raise \u201cgrateful and unspoiled children\u201d despite being wealthy, going on lavish vacations, having beautiful homes and owning the latest gadgets, toys and luxury cars. They ask me if it is really possible and my answer is \u201cYes, but you are going to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":77402,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[36,38],"yoast_head":"\n