{"id":5658,"date":"2014-03-11T11:49:24","date_gmt":"2014-03-11T11:49:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=5658"},"modified":"2014-03-12T13:02:42","modified_gmt":"2014-03-12T13:02:42","slug":"10-things-never-to-say-to-a-pregnant-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/10-things-never-to-say-to-a-pregnant-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"10 things never to say to a pregnant woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"pregnant-black-woman\"<\/a>There\u2019s something about seeing a pregnant belly that makes even the most civilized people forget their manners.<\/p>\n

In what other situation would people feel comfortable telling a woman, \u201cYou look heavy\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you a little old for that\u201d?<\/p>\n

If you\u2019d rather not press a pregnant woman\u2019s buttons, consider these tips from the Mommy Docs, a trio of ob-gyns who star in the television series Deliver Me, who have witnessed 15,000 deliveries and have six children between them.<\/p>\n

Yvonne Bohn, MD, Alane Park, MD, and Allison Hill, MD, also penned The Mommy Docs’ Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy and Birth, so they know their way around a mother-to-be\u2019s body and mind.<\/p>\n

Read on to see common ways that people inadvertently offend expecting moms, plus things they\u2019d prefer to hear instead.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you sure you’re not having twins?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cEvery inch of me looked pregnant from six months on,\u201d says Sarah, a mother of one. \u201cSo relatives would ask, \u2018Are you sure there aren\u2019t two in there?\u2019 or say \u2018You look like you’re about to pop!\u2019\u201d You wouldn\u2019t mention extra pounds to someone who wasn\u2019t pregnant, so why is the weight of a woman who\u2019s expecting fair game? It\u2019s not. \u201cWomen gain different amounts of weight in their pregnancies,\u201d says Dr. Bohn. And pregnant women can be especially sensitive about added pounds, especially if they\u2019re already not feeling particularly attractive. If you feel compelled to comment about a pregnant woman\u2019s appearance, stick with something positive and vague, such as, \u201cYou look great!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou’re so tiny\u2014you can barely tell you\u2019re pregnant! That can’t be healthy.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI carried all in the front for both pregnancies,\u201d says Nicole, a mother of two. \u201cPeople thought they were paying me a compliment by asking, \u2018Are you eating enough?\u2019 But really, they were making me second-guess my weight, which, according to my doctor, was fine.\u201d Again, pregnant women gain different amounts of weight, and every woman carries that weight differently. A mom-to-be who seems small to you could be perfectly healthy\u2014and she\u2019s probably sick of people trying to force-feed her. \u201cOnly a woman\u2019s doctor can advise her on what\u2019s healthy for her and her baby,\u201d says Dr. Bohn. Even if you\u2019re trying to make a pregnant woman feel good about herself, skip comments about her weight gain\u2014or lack thereof.<\/p>\n

“Are you disappointed it’s not a girl?”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nicole also got frustrated when people would say, “It’s your second baby? You must be trying for a boy!” or ask “Are you upset it\u2019s not another girl?” Given how awesome a pair of sisters (Venus and Serena Williams) or a bunch of boys (the Jonas brothers!) can be, it\u2019s strange to assume parents want a boy-girl set\u2014or prefer a child of one sex over the other. \u201cIt boggles my mind when people say stuff like this,\u201d says Dr. Park. \u201cMost of our patients just want a healthy baby!\u201d The only assumption you can make about a woman who\u2019s having a second or third baby is that she wants another child. Period.<\/p>\n

“You’re going to breastfeed, right?”<\/strong><\/p>\n

School-teacher Beth, a mother of two, couldn\u2019t stand people prying about her feeding plans. \u201cMy mom friends would ask if I was breastfeeding. I did, but only for eight weeks. There\u2019s no time to pump in the three-minute break between classes\u2014and I hated having to justify my decision.\u201d From a health standpoint, breast is best because breast milk may protect against infections and diseases, prevent a baby from developing allergies and more. But whether or not a woman breastfeeds is a personal decision that needs no explanation. Plus, Dr. Park points out, there are circumstances (like demanding jobs) and health conditions (like not being able to produce enough breast milk) that make it difficult for a mom to breastfeed. And no woman\u2014pregnant or otherwise\u2014should feel obligated to share her medical files or personal history to defend her actions. \u201cResist the urge to give advice on breastfeeding,\u201d urges Dr. Park. Unless, of course, you\u2019re asked. Even then, fight the compulsion to impose your beliefs on someone else.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you’re wide! You’re definitely having a girl!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cA daughter steals her mother’s beauty,\u201d Sarah\u2019s grandmother announced. And the mailman\u2014yes, mailman!\u2014decided Sarah was wide for an expecting woman, and declared she was having a girl. Sarah survived comments from the peanut gallery\u2014and gave birth to a healthy son. Despite the countless myths and wise old women in the grocery store, \u201cthere\u2019s no proven method to predict whether a woman is carrying a boy or a girl based on the mother-to-be\u2019s physical appearance,\u201d confirms Dr. Hill. Besides, what feels like good fun and guessing games to you might feel an awful lot like an insult to the woman you\u2019re passively calling unattractive or fat.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was back in my skinny jeans a week after giving birth.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what a neighbor told Beth when she was a week past her due date and feeling the opposite of skinny. Seeing celebrity moms looking gorgeous on the red carpet two minutes after having a baby is enough to make any mortal new mom want to run for cover. So don\u2019t add to the pressure by bragging about your own fabulous post-baby body. \u201cWhat worked for you might not work for another woman,\u201d says Dr. Hill. For example, even though breastfeeding burns hundreds of calories, not every mom will drop pounds by nursing alone. \u201cIf you want to be supportive, avoid making comparisons,\u201d adds Dr. Hill.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope the baby gets your nose!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMy mother-in-law loved to say this,\u201d says Nicole. \u201cBut what if my child didn\u2019t get my nose? Would I love him less? And did she love my husband less because of his large-ish nose?\u201d You might think you\u2019re complimenting an expectant mom here, but she could take those words as, \u201cJeez, your husband\u2019s nose is big,\u201d says Dr. Bohn. New parents are going to think their baby is gorgeous, even if the child arrives with Uncle Charlie\u2019s bushy eyebrows. Instead of speculating about the baby\u2019s looks, try something like, \u201cNew babies are the sweetest. I bet you can\u2019t wait to meet her!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you see that show about the baby with [insert horrible disease here]?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Beth shared a classroom with a teacher who loved to tell doomsday scenarios, always asking if she\u2019d heard about that baby who had suffered from x, y or z. Or she\u2019d share gems like this: \u201cMy boss\u2019s wife\u2019s second cousin’s former roommate died in labor! But you’ll be fine!\u201d Any mom who\u2019s cracked open her baby books knows there\u2019s plenty that can go wrong in nine months and beyond. You don\u2019t need to add to her fears by sharing horror stories\u2014especially those you heard through the grapevine or on the Lifetime channel. \u201cMoms worry enough on their own,\u201d says Dr. Hill. Rather than adding to the stress, save your \u201cDid you hear about the\u2026?\u201d stories for someone who\u2019s not expecting and share happy stories or ask what the mom-to-be is most excited about.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat must’ve been a surprise!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

When Nicole got pregnant at 23 on her honeymoon, people assumed the pregnancy was a mistake. (It wasn\u2019t!) \u201cDid you plan to get pregnant so soon?\u201d a friend asked, and \u201cThat must’ve been a surprise!\u201d a co-worker said with a wink. \u201cThe timing of a woman\u2019s pregnancy is none of your business,\u201d says Dr. Park. What seems \u201cso soon\u201d to you might be exactly the time the expecting parents intended to get pregnant. And even if the pregnancy wasn\u2019t planned, if the parents are embracing it, you should, too. When someone offers up pregnancy news, the best possible thing you can do is share her enthusiasm.<\/p>\n

\u201cAren’t you too old to have a baby?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Conversely, Sarah, who got pregnant at 39, was constantly fielding questions related to waiting to have children, like, \u201cDid you make your baby the old-fashioned way?\u201d Once a woman\u2019s pregnant, it\u2019s not your concern how the bun got in the oven\u2014or whether the oven\u2019s a little on the older side. Like other expecting moms, older moms-to-be are probably doing plenty of fretting. (It\u2019s not news that pregnancy gets tougher with age!) \u201cAnd if they\u2019re not worried, it\u2019s not your job to scare them,\u201d says Dr. Hill. When an older friend announces her pregnancy, just offer her the same sincere congratulations you\u2019d give a younger one.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source: womansday.com<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s something about seeing a pregnant belly that makes even the most civilized people forget their manners. In what other situation would people feel comfortable telling a woman, \u201cYou look heavy\u201d or \u201cAren\u2019t you a little old for that\u201d? If you\u2019d rather not press a pregnant woman\u2019s buttons, consider these tips from the Mommy Docs, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5659,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[36],"yoast_head":"\n10 things never to say to a pregnant woman - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. 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