{"id":4545,"date":"2014-03-07T11:13:38","date_gmt":"2014-03-07T11:13:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=4545"},"modified":"2014-03-07T11:13:38","modified_gmt":"2014-03-07T11:13:38","slug":"9-ways-to-keep-your-marriage-healthy-at-any-age","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/03\/9-ways-to-keep-your-marriage-healthy-at-any-age\/","title":{"rendered":"9 ways to keep your marriage healthy at any age"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Senior<\/a>First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes decades of time together strewn with a minefield of potential relationship wreckers.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a wonder that anyone ends up walking off into the sunset, hand-in-wrinkled-hand, with a silver-haired mate. What do those geriatric lovebirds know that you don\u2019t?<\/p>\n

Well, the truth is that even in so-called happy marriages, both partners probably fantasize some of the time \u2014 or even much of the time \u2014 about throwing in the towel. A new Woman\u2019s Day and AOL Living poll found that a shocking 72 percent of women surveyed have considered leaving their husbands at some point. But despite the occasional rocky patch, 71 percent expected to be with their husbands for the rest of their lives. So how do you make it to the finish line with your relationship intact?<\/p>\n

Each decade will have its own drama, be it child-rearing, layoffs, second careers, and middle-aged angst, along with a big helping of the in-sickness-and-in-health stuff. Here\u2019s how to have a healthy relationship every step of the way.<\/p>\n

1. Watch your waistline<\/strong>
\nNow that you\u2019re married, you can finally relax and skip the gym, right? Wrong. Wedded couples tend to have fatter waistlines, which can spell trouble in terms of sexual attraction and general health. A 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that your chances of becoming obese increase by 37 percent if your spouse becomes obese. So unless you want \u201ctill death do us part\u201d to include chronic health issues like heart disease and diabetes, it\u2019s important to establish healthy eating habits early on. But warding off weight gain isn\u2019t as simple as whipping up a healthy meal together. Eating with anyone \u2014 from your spouse to coworker \u2014 can cause you to consume 33 percent more than you would solo.<\/p>\n

Being aware of the potential fatty pitfalls of marital bliss may be enough to keep your portion sizes in check. Spend “couple time” checking out local farmers\u2019 markets on the weekends in an effort to consume fresher, low-calorie fare. Or schedule an exercise date to work off some of your hearty, homemade dinners.<\/p>\n

2. Have a financial plan<\/strong>
\nNearly 40 percent of married people admit to lying to their spouse about a purchase, according to a 2004 poll, and money woes can quickly send your marriage south. In fact, money is the number-one reason couples fight, and relationships tend to suffer during poor economies. You should discuss and agree upon some hard financial ground rules, preferably before you tie the knot.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t fret if you\u2019re a spendthrift and your partner pinches pennies. \u201cIt\u2019s probably not a good thing to have the exact same philosophy about money, \u201c says Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin\u2013Madison. \u201cBut financial issues are best to resolve early on. You want to decide who is going to pay the bills, how much discretionary spending is reasonable, and how you\u2019re going to keep track of it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Figure out your family rules<\/strong>
\nCouples spend the first 5 to 10 years of their marriage butting heads over how their family should work, says Dr. Robbins. \u201cPeople often don\u2019t realize that they come into a marriage with an idea of how a family works based on their own family \u2014 whether they liked them or not,\u201d he adds. You can end up fighting over something as trivial as how you should hang your toilet paper, but those little issues can add up to big problems, particularly if children enter the picture. A 2004 study found that how a couple manages parenting responsibilities when the child is an infant is associated with the quality of their marriage two-and-a-half years later.<\/p>\n

You and your partner may have vastly different ideas about how a child should be cared for and what constitutes family together time. If one of you is working, should the other partner get up with the baby at night, or should you take turns? Is it important for you to sit down to dinner as a family every night? \u201cYou need to figure out how you can live together happily while each maintaining your own sense of self,\u201d says Dr. Robbins.<\/p>\n

4. Make sex a priority \u2014 but not a chore<\/strong>
\nWhile you should make sex a priority, you shouldn\u2019t pencil it in on your planner. If you schedule sex, it becomes a responsibility \u2014 just like taking out the trash, says Andrew Goldstein, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine in Baltimore, and the co-author of Reclaiming Desire. The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week. And a recent eight-year study found that 90 percent of couples experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of their first child. Yikes!<\/p>\n

But it doesn\u2019t matter whether you\u2019re having sex five times a week or five times a year \u2014 as long as both of you are happy, says Dr. Goldstein. In fact, a 2008 study found that couples who reported any kind of marital intimacy \u2014 everything from holding hands to sex \u2014 exhibited lower levels of a hormone produced by stress.<\/p>\n

5. Be flexible<\/strong>
\nWhatever financial and household arrangements you agreed to in your 20s or 30s, chances are they\u2019re going to change at some point in your marriage. Men account for 82 percent of recent job losses during this recession, meaning couples are making some hard choices when it comes to both their careers and their checking accounts.<\/p>\n

If the traditional breadwinner is laid off, the stay-at-home parent may need to head back into the workforce. Conversely, if you become a stay-at-home partner \u2014 due to choice or circumstance \u2014 expect to do more of the shopping, cleaning and other chores that make a household run smoothly. A recent analysis of government data found that employed women spend significantly more time on child care and housework than employed men \u2014 and unemployed men.<\/p>\n

Having an open discussion of how household duties need to change can help couples weather some tough transitions. \u201cEveryone has a role within the relationship and as long as there\u2019s a greater good, it\u2019s not a question about whether it\u2019s his money or her money,\u201d says Dr. Goldstein. \u201cIt\u2019s their money. Your paycheck and your career are not the value of your worth.\u201d<\/p>\n

6. Stay active as you age<\/strong>
\nIf you\u2019re like most American couples, you don\u2019t exercise or you stopped regularly exercising when you had children. Try to find new ways to stay active as a couple, whether it\u2019s hitting the tennis courts or hiking trails. A 1995 study found that couples who work out together are more likely to stick with an exercise program. And some experts suggest that couples who exercise more frequently tend to have better sex lives.<\/p>\n

Pick up a life sport that you can enjoy together for decades to come, like golf, tennis or hiking. You don\u2019t need to be seriously sweating to reap the benefits of regular exercise. Experts say that moderate exercise is enough to help stave off heart disease and other ailments.<\/p>\n

7. Gab (a little) to your friend<\/strong>
\nIn the last decade, researchers have noted a rise in \u201cgray divorce,\u201d or couples over 50 who are calling it quits. While it\u2019s tempting \u2014 and often prudent \u2014 to keep couple conversations behind closed doors, you may actually benefit from blabbing to a close friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s often helpful to talk to couple friends when these big issues come up,\u201d says Dr. Robbins. \u201cMany couples live very privately and discuss these issues with the shades down, but relationship issues like this can often benefit from hearing how people that you trust dealt with a similar situation.\u201d Whether it\u2019s hearing how a friend dealt with her husband\u2019s infidelity or other big hurdles, a little empathy can put things in perspective. But keep your gabbing under control.<\/p>\n

\u201cClearly it\u2019s never a good idea to say anything \u2014 even to a close friend \u2014 that you wouldn\u2019t want repeated back to your spouse in five years,\u201d warns Dr. Goldstein.<\/p>\n

8. Rediscover each other as a couple, sans kids<\/strong>
\nForget empty nest syndrome \u2014 a 2008 study found that marital satisfaction actually improves once children leave home. Female participants reported spending equal amounts of time with their partners both while their children lived at home and after, but they noted that the quality of that together time was better once the kids were out of the picture. \u201cSuddenly the tyranny of the children controlling the household is relieved,\u201d says Dr. Robbins. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to have dinner at 6, you don\u2019t have to spend Saturdays at the soccer field, and you don\u2019t have to be so responsible all the time.\u201d Use this newfound freedom to bend the rules a bit and rediscover what you love about each other.<\/p>\n

But if marital problems have already been bubbling, an empty nest can reveal serious tension. \u201cAll of a sudden the noise is gone,\u201d says Dr. Robbins. \u201cIf you didn\u2019t have much to talk about, it suddenly becomes more apparent once the kids are gone.\u201d<\/p>\n

9. Be a conscious caregiver<\/strong>
\nIn the event of a serious illness, spouses who assume the role of caregiver often develop a sense of \u201ccaregiver burden\u201d and may become ill themselves. So it\u2019s vital that both spouses ask for help when they need it. Getting out to see friends and socialize is particularly important for caregivers. And realize that you both have limitations.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe spouse who needs help typically feels guilty and frustrated. The spouse who has to help feels controlled by it,\u201d says Dr. Robbins. \u201cWhile you can\u2019t fix those issues, you at least need to be open about them.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source: magazine.foxnews.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes decades of time together strewn with a minefield of potential relationship wreckers. It\u2019s a wonder that anyone ends up walking off into the sunset, hand-in-wrinkled-hand, with a silver-haired mate. What do those geriatric lovebirds know that you don\u2019t? Well, the truth is that even in so-called happy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4546,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\n9 ways to keep your marriage healthy at any age - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. 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