{"id":44399,"date":"2014-09-03T11:43:35","date_gmt":"2014-09-03T11:43:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=44399"},"modified":"2014-09-03T11:50:42","modified_gmt":"2014-09-03T11:50:42","slug":"9-sexy-things-you-must-do-before-you-die","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/09\/9-sexy-things-you-must-do-before-you-die\/","title":{"rendered":"Sexy things you must do before you die"},"content":{"rendered":"
I came across this sexual bucket list the other day \u2014\u00a050 Things To Try Sexually Before You Die<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0\u2014\u00a0and I must admit, I was intrigued. Mostly, because I’m no novice when it comes to trying new stuff in bed.<\/p>\n I have a sordid pre-husband history, plus when you’ve been\u00a0married<\/a>\u00a0to the same guy for 13 years, you have to keep things interesting. Turns out, I’ve tried nearly everything on the list. (You’re welcome.)<\/p>\n So to save you time, I’ve narrowed the list down to what’s worth it (Erotica<\/a>!) and what’s not (Whipped cream = Strong pass.)<\/p>\n 1. Use a Vibrator<\/strong><\/p>\n 2. Be Tied Up\/Tie Someone Up<\/strong><\/p>\n 3.\u00a0Sex<\/a>\u00a0in a Car<\/strong><\/p>\n Meh. I’m not against it, just make sure you have something to tidy up with afterwards, if you know what I mean. Also, car sex can get a bit crowded, if not positioned properly. Recline that seat.<\/p>\n 4. The Mile-High Club<\/strong><\/p>\n Unless you’re on a private jet with something comfortable to work with, don’t even bother. I haven’t ever met an airline restroom that left me feeling even the slightest bit sexy, not to mention it’s hard enough to maneuver my body alone in one. This is one fantasy I’ve never understood (at least on a commercial airline.) I’ll start my own club, People-Who-Respect-Not-Being-Jammed-Against-A-Door-When-Having-Sex Club.<\/p>\n 5. Read Erotica<\/strong><\/p>\n 50 Shades of Gray is crap. Read\u00a0the beautiful series<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>by Christina Lauren and get back to me.<\/p>\n 6. Play Strip Monopoly<\/strong><\/p>\n Strip Monopoly is for people who do not value their time and have all night and some of the next morning to get naked. My suggestion: strip rock, paper, scissors. Gets the job done in a quarter of the time.<\/p>\n 7. Sex in the Shower\/Sex Standing Up Against a Wall<\/strong><\/p>\n Can be dangerous if slippery, so keep your wits about you. Also note that there are some\u00a0relationships<\/a>\u00a0where height and weight a factor in regards to being able to accomplish the more “advanced” positions. (Which is to say, movies are LIARS.)<\/p>\n 8. Learn to Give Yourself Multiple Orgasms<\/strong><\/p>\n Look, I’ve never been a multiple kind of gal, I’m all about quality over quantity. Plus, after learning there are women who are completely and physically unable to orgasm, I’ll take what I can get. (However, if you’re able to pop off five or six a session, more power to you.)<\/p>\n 9. Sex on the Beach…<\/strong><\/p>\n …leads to sand in your cracks and folds. I don’t care how careful you are.<\/p>\n 10. Whipped Cream<\/strong><\/p>\n Use real dairy whipped cream and you will end up smelling like rank cow farts come morning. Besides, it’s really melty. May I suggest Pixy Stix as a delicious and non-melting alternative? (Still sticky, but not stinky.)<\/p>\n