{"id":407833,"date":"2018-03-08T13:19:42","date_gmt":"2018-03-08T13:19:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=407833"},"modified":"2018-03-08T13:20:35","modified_gmt":"2018-03-08T13:20:35","slug":"six-behaviors-never-tolerate-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2018\/03\/six-behaviors-never-tolerate-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Six behaviors you should never tolerate in a man"},"content":{"rendered":"
Cheating and abuse are the first things people think of when they consider what they should never tolerate in a healthy relationship. This article is not going to be about cheating or abuse.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, the behaviors that seem the most innocent on the surface can actually be deeply abusive. For example, acting like your partner is not causing you any hurt or anger (not being responsive) when you consciously know you\u2019re withholding yourself (as well as withholding the truth).<\/p>\n
Staying together with a partner you don\u2019t care about and are not loyal to for the sake of enjoying a mutually comfortable lifestyle. Furthermore,\u00a0getting into a codependent relationship\u00a0so that you can milk the other person for your own perceived benefits. These are all potentially abusive behaviors and it\u2019s a lot to discuss and go through. So, I reserve the\u00a0topic of abuse\u00a0and conversation for another time, where I can thoroughly explore the issues surrounding abuse.<\/p>\n Although it is rare, a cheater\u00a0can\u00a0change. I don\u2019t think it is the rule that cheaters will change their ways. I think many cheaters probably remain that way for a long time. Yet I believe that there are exceptions, so whilst from one perspective, I believe you should never tolerate cheating, it\u2019s not that black and white. Every situation is different, and whether cheating should be tolerated or worked through and understood by both parties or not, depends on what happened, as well as the real, unadulterated reasons why the cheater cheated in the first place.<\/p>\n Sometimes people cheat because they perceive that they cannot experience dark and light energy with their partner, or that they cannot experience the full range of sexual variety with that partner because their relationship is boring or restrictive. That is an example where a cheater could change \u2014 when their needs are met and when they get what they perceive as highly valuable in a relationship. And if they are willing to also take responsibility for their behavior.<\/p>\n Some people cheat because they can, or because they\u2019re not very emotionally connected people (they treat any relationship as a place they go to take), and they are unafraid of the consequences of cheating, or because they\u2019re addicted to the experience. Those cheaters may never change without intense, permanent alterations to their environment, and\u00a0peer group.<\/p>\n Now we\u2019re ready to start on the 6 behaviors you should never tolerate in a man.<\/p>\n 1: A man who doesn\u2019t value connection in a relationship<\/strong><\/p>\n Hopefully not. But it does happen, and that\u2019s not wrong. It\u2019s just not ideal for building emotional attraction and emotional connection.<\/p>\n Why do we have a relationship again?<\/p>\n Hopefully, to connect. I know this is not always the case. In fact, many people have \u201crelationships\u201d to take, take, and strip what they can from the other person. That\u2019s not a relationship though. That is, I don\u2019t know\u2026what would you call it? Abuse.<\/p>\n Go to a man who wants to connect. Now, I want to be clear: I don\u2019t mean to say: go to a man who is willing to call you more often. How often a man calls you is not a reliable indicator of whether he values connection or not. His choices in life and his behavior when you are together is a more reliable indicator, coupled with how connected it makes you feel to be with him.<\/p>\n This is a hard one. Because, sometimes, if one doesn\u2019t value connection themselves, they may not ever notice whether a man they are dating values connection or not. Because they are not connected themselves! We need to zoom out and look at this person objectively. Ask yourself: does what this man does day to day, reflect a man who values connection with me? Or does it more so reflect the actions of somebody who is looking for approval, validation, or novelty? Does this man\u2019s actions, choices,\u00a0and decisions reflect a desire to value the relationship with ME, and value what we have together? Or do his actions reflect that his first valued thing is work, or sexual variety, or comfort, or being right?<\/p>\n Remember, zoom out.<\/p>\n Hover above him in an airplane and consider objectively \u2014 without any emotions attached \u2014 what does this man value? Does he value connection? Does he know the importance and the irreplaceable connection with one important person, like me? Or other individual family members?<\/p>\n Tolerating a man being horrible to you is no more horrible than him tolerating you being horrible to him. Why? Because we all deserve (and need) feedback and responses from other humans in order to function healthily.<\/p>\n A woman not regulated by a smart man is potentially dangerous to society and dangerous to herself. Very much the same as a man not receiving feedback from a woman can be dangerous to society\u2026proceeding to hurt lots of other people, without consequences because, well, nobody cares to give those consequences.<\/p>\n We\u2019re not talking about punishment here. I\u2019m not saying that a man should punish you for being horrible, or being a user. I\u2019m saying that you are a human and you deserve to be taught how to treat others right.<\/p>\n DISCLAIMER:\u00a0Please differentiate between a man criticizing your behavior and a man giving you supportive, loving feedback, or simply just having good moral boundaries (which is a positive thing for him to have). I don\u2019t want you to think that him giving you criticism to feel superior to you means he is doing you any good. He may not be.<\/p>\n A man who desires your approval will compromise himself as a man. What a sad and small way to live. Don\u2019t tolerate it.<\/p>\n A man who values his safety and his bubble will perhaps never demand anything more from you, but instead will just try to please you. And do you really want that in your life?<\/p>\n I know this may seem like a strange thing to not tolerate. But I believe it is something you should never tolerate. Why? Because it will lead you to a mediocre quality of life! If a man wants to stay small or keep you small, then he won\u2019t mind you treating him badly. And he won\u2019t make you stop treating others badly, either.<\/p>\n Choose a man who won\u2019t allow you to do anything stupid because he wants more for you in this life. He demands more from you. To hell with his comfort! Who cares about that? Humans are made to grow in spirit. You and your man should care about each other\u2019s morals. You should both also have standards for the way you treat yourself and others.<\/p>\n 3: Bad hygiene<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nSo what do we need to do?<\/p>\n