In an ideal world, a relationship has a lot of give and take. But relationships are rarely ideal \u2014 and being used in a relationship is way more common than we\u2019d like it to be. It normally starts out simply enough, with someone who seems really sensitive and interesting and reflective and \u2018not like everyone else\u2019. You know the one, right? And yet before you know it, once they make you feel comfortable, you\u2019re being totally ignored.\u00a0It\u2019s happened to the best of us.<\/p>\n
While it often sneaks up on us, we all know what being used looks like on someone else. \u201cI think the signs that you are being used are actually pretty clear,\u201d relationship therapist\u00a0Aimee Hartstein\u00a0tells UK Cosmo. So the key is to know the signs and make sure that we\u2019re being honest with ourselves about what\u2019s actually going on in our relationship. No matter how difficult it is to a admit. Here\u2019s what you need to look out for.<\/p>\n
1. You\u2019re making excuses for being treated badly<\/strong><\/p>\n Are you always explaining to your friends that your partner is just tired or stressed \u2014 saying that\u2019s why they\u2019re being rude to you or not making the effort? That\u2019s a huge sign. \u201cThe basic yardstick for telling whether you are being used or not is to take a good look at how you are being treated,\u201d Aimee says. \u201c…if you find that they are disrespectful, don\u2019t treat you well, and you don\u2019t feel good with the person then chances are you might be being used.\u201d<\/p>\n Chances are, if this is happening, we won\u2019t want to admit it. We either make excuses for their bad behaviour, or pretend it isn\u2019t happening at all. In this instance, you really need to take a look at why you\u2019re trying to bail this person out all the time.<\/p>\n 2. They make you feel small<\/strong><\/p>\n And actually, feeling good with the person is also a sign that you are not being used. The person you\u2019re with should build you up, make you feel happy and like life is better than it is without them. \u201cIf this is a person who is nice to you, treats you well, and seems to enjoy your company then it’s likely you are not being used,\u201d Aimee explains. But if you\u2019re constantly feeling small, underwhelmed, let down \u2014 you know, that knot-in-your-stomach feeling \u2014 you need to take a look at the relationship. Something is really off and there\u2019s a good chance you\u2019re being used.<\/p>\n 3. Your friends and family are worried<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cThe reason it sometimes gets confusing is if people don\u2019t want to see the signs and end up in a bit of denial,\u201d Aimee says. When you\u2019re being used, you may not want to see something that\u2019s right in front of your face, but your friends and family won\u2019t have the same problem. So if they\u2019re worried about you, you really should pay attention. They normally have a more objective view of the situation and they have your best interests at heart.<\/p>\n 4. Your needs aren\u2019t being met<\/strong><\/p>\n You show up with soup and paracetamol when they don\u2019t feel well, but they\u2019re nowhere to be found when you\u2019re under the weather? Pay attention if you\u2019re the one 5. You\u2019re not ok with how the relationship is defined<\/strong><\/p>\n Having mutual respect means that you\u2019re both ok with the dynamic between you. It doesn\u2019t matter what the relationship looks like as something that\u2019s casual and just about sex can still have a lot of respect. \u201cThey might not want any sort of serious relationship, but they like you and you might generally feel good in this situation,\u201d says Aimee. But you both have to be on the same page. If you\u2019re not comfortable with the relationship and they know you want more than they do, they\u2019re using you. And it\u2019s not ok.<\/p>\n If you really like someone, admitting you\u2019re being used is likely to be the last thing that you want to do. You may feel like the fact that they\u2019re using you is embarrassing\u2014 that it\u2019s finally acknowledging they\u2019re not as into you as you are into them. But screw them. Because admitting that you\u2019re being used just means that you\u2019re with the kind of assh*le who uses people. And that\u2019s all on them. You can do way, way better.<\/p>\n –<\/p>\n Source: UK Cosmo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In an ideal world, a relationship has a lot of give and take. But relationships are rarely ideal \u2014 and being used in a relationship is way more common than we\u2019d like it to be. It normally starts out simply enough, with someone who seems really sensitive and interesting and reflective and \u2018not like everyone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[354],"tags":[8121],"yoast_head":"\n
\nalways making the effort. Whether you\u2019ve been dating for five days or five years, it should still be a two-way street. \u201cYou can generally use your own feelings and comfort level as a good yardstick,\u201d Aimee explains. If you find your needs aren\u2019t being met or that you\u2019re becoming resentful, something\u2019s up.<\/p>\n