{"id":339509,"date":"2017-07-26T16:00:43","date_gmt":"2017-07-26T16:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=339509"},"modified":"2017-07-26T16:00:43","modified_gmt":"2017-07-26T16:00:43","slug":"he-is-just-a-friend-a-conversation-with-the-ladies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2017\/07\/he-is-just-a-friend-a-conversation-with-the-ladies\/","title":{"rendered":"He is \u201cjust\u201d a friend: A conversation with the ladies"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Disclaimer: I am about to rant and rave all in the name of fun. If you can\u2019t take a joke, you are obviously reading the wrong article.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

This piece is for the ladies.<\/p>\n

Fellas, you are welcome to stick around but you have to sit your hiney in the corner and hush up. \u00a0I need you to stay quiet while I spew some words of wisdom to the ladies.<\/p>\n

Fear not, I am not planning to give away our bro secrets. Okay, I lied, I will give the ladies a smidgen but not much. I have a few things to tell them and trust me, this is for your own good.<\/p>\n

Okay, ladies, it\u2019s just you and me now. So check this out, I am mesmerized by you. \u00a0I want to gobble you in places some fellas won\u2019t. \u00a0I want to graze you in places some brothers won\u2019t. Your satisfaction is my top priority and I have the tactical expertise to execute. \u00a0(Okay, that was corny as heck!)<\/p>\n

Anyway, I pulled you aside because there is something I want to tell you. \u00a0I really, really want to see you naked. Hold up! Wait! Don\u2019t be mad, I am just kidding! Please don\u2019t leave. Okay, Kwadjo, snap out of it and get the freakiness out of your system.<\/p>\n

Okay, let me get serious and tell you an open secret about men. \u00a0Do me a favor and check the instant messages on your social media. \u00a0Do you see all those fellas chatting with you? \u00a0Fellas like me who say hello every so often just to see how you doing and check on you. \u00a0Almost all of them want to see you naked but you already know that, don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n

Alright, let\u2019s forget about those fellas in your IM. They are toothless and weak because you have them at arm\u2019s length. Let\u2019s take a look at the fellas in your WhatsApp and those texting you on your digits. Fellas like me who have managed to break free from your IM jail and have your phone number.<\/p>\n

Remember those fellas? Those of us who stuck around after we discovered that you are dating someone but somehow, you wanted to keep us close as \u201cjust\u201d friends. Those of us who die a little on the inside everything we see a picture of you and your man or when we run into you and him together.<\/p>\n

Remember those fellas? Those of us who hit on you when we first met only for you to decide that we are better off as \u201cjust\u201d friends. Those of us wondering hopelessly how you ended up dating a \u201closer\u201d when you can be with us.\u00a0Those of us waiting around for your man to screw up.<\/p>\n

Remember those fellas? Those of us who stuck around to listen for hours as you complained about how bad your man treats you. Those of us who listen to your sob stories and secretly hate the fact that you are still boinking your man.<\/p>\n

Remember those fellas? Those of us who rarely press you about how we feel about you because we are \u201cjust\u201d friends. \u00a0Those of us who keep denying our true intentions to see you naked. Those of us who are gurus at keeping things superficial and normal because we are \u201cjust\u201d friends after all.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

It is relatively seamless for most of us to switch quickly from wanting to see you naked to becoming your friend. It\u2019s not a problem at all. Easy peasy!<\/p>\n

With time, you may forget the fact that some of us wanted to see you naked. \u00a0With time, you may forget the fact that some of us wanted a real relationship with you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry, we will eventually forget the reasons why we wanted you in the first place. After all, how difficult is it to forget how amazing, accomplished or hot you are? \u00a0Just give us some time and we will become great friends! I think that is enough sarcasm for one day.<\/p>\n

Ladies, permit me to speak to the fellas who stuck around just for a quick second. \u00a0Fellas, some of you reading this may feel unfairly judged by what I am about to say.<\/p>\n

Here is the deal; we fellas are the reason why some men and women cannot be \u201cjust\u201d friends. Yeah, I said it. \u00a0If you are mad then get mad but deep down, you know it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n

Ladies, back to you. Is it possible for men and women to be \u201cjust\u201d friends? Absolutely! We all have friends of the opposite sex, don\u2019t we? However, we the fellas hold the key to whether the friendship will work or not and here is why.<\/p>\n

A man can only be true friends with a woman if he does not want to see her naked.<\/p>\n

If a guy and a girl appear to be best friends, one of them may secretly want to see the other naked. \u00a0My money is on the guy.<\/p>\n

Let me begin by stating the obvious. When we first approached you on social media or at the party, we did not ask for the recipe for Ghanaian Jollof, did we? \u00a0(Please allow a quick plug in here; Ghanaian Jollof is simply delish and the best ever!!)<\/p>\n

We are \u201cjust\u201d friends and its all good but here is the problem. \u00a0You are still the same amazing, accomplished and hot chick we wanted when we first met.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong, we fellas have self-control; at least most of us do. However, do not forget the key point I made earlier; true friendship only works if the fella is totally past his desire to see you naked or if he has given up his wish to start a romantic relationship with you.<\/p>\n

Being around someone you find sexually attractive is one of the worst ways to avoid having sex with that person. \u00a0You can test this theory if you want to.<\/p>\n

Ask the same guy who initially expressed a romantic interest in you what he will do should he find you in his bed in your birthday suit. Actually, don\u2019t ask him, just creep into his bed full monty and watch what happens next.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard some fellas talk about being \u201cfriend zoned\u201d in such situations. \u00a0Permit me to air some grievances I personally have with the notion of \u201cfriend zones.\u201d\u00a0The term \u201cfriend zone\u201d has become so entrenched on the dating scene that it\u2019s almost never questioned.<\/p>\n

The Friend zone isn\u2019t real and it\u2019s a myth made up by some fellas who got rejected because they were just not compatible or good enough.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The idea that a nice guy is owed sex or a romantic relationship by a female friend is ridiculous. Most women know if they want you romantically or sexually from the get-go. There are no gray areas here.<\/p>\n

When fellas use the term \u201cfriend zone,\u201d they are indubitably attempting to shame a woman for hurting their feelings.\u00a0I understand that rejection sucks and it hurts. However, women are in control of who they want to be with and they have every right to say no if they don\u2019t like you.<\/p>\n

Women don\u2019t owe us shit!<\/p>\n

In reality, it\u2019s not impossible to\u00a0pull off a friendship with a member of the opposite sex but it\u2019s definitely not as easy as swallowing some fufu. \u00a0Attraction and sex always get in the way.<\/p>\n

I am not discouraging men and women from being friends. On the contrary, I am presenting these open secrets to encourage us to closely examine our friendships with the opposite sex.<\/p>\n

Hopefully, some poor soul will be saved from months or years of pointless yearning if they simply refuse to accept those dreaded words; \u2018Let\u2019s be \u201cjust\u201d friends\u2019<\/p>\n

Ladies, if you want to continue this conversation or if you want to delve deeper into this fun topic, I do offer private one-on-one tutorials. You know where to find me. My only request is that we become friends first.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By Kwadjo Panyin<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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