{"id":339486,"date":"2017-07-26T15:22:46","date_gmt":"2017-07-26T15:22:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=339486"},"modified":"2017-07-26T15:22:46","modified_gmt":"2017-07-26T15:22:46","slug":"how-to-make-it-work-if-your-partner-earns-more-than-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2017\/07\/how-to-make-it-work-if-your-partner-earns-more-than-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to make it work if your partner earns more than you"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you’ve only dated people within your salary band, then awesome for you. It must be so simple. But it’s happened to myself and my pals a lot: you’re on the first date and obviously flashing cash like you’re Richard Branson because no one wants to say “ooh I can’t afford another cocktail” on a first date.<\/p>\n

Then you wake up the next day and realise you’re gonna be on the old ‘gari soakings’ diet for the rest of the month because you spent beyond your means. Again.<\/p>\n

What about when you end up in a relationship with a complete and utter baller? It’s damn hard, that’s what. You always want to pay half for everything, but also you’re kind of limited in the luxuriousness of the meals\/holidays\/experiences you can afford. It’s kind of a nightmare.<\/p>\n

Lovehoney’s relationship expert\u00a0Annabelle Knight\u00a0shares her advice for not letting that pesky bill come between you.<\/p>\n

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“If you\u2019re in a relationship with a big pay gap you could face a few bumps in the road. More often than not one of you won\u2019t see this as a problem, this is usually the partner who earns more,” she says. “For those on a lower salary they may experience feelings of inadequacy, jealousy or insecurity.” Here’s how to stop that from happening.<\/p>\n

1. Understand that for most couples\u2019 this is completely natural<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rarely do two people earn the exact same amount of money. Because of this it\u2019s almost completely unnatural for those two people to contribute financially evenly throughout the relationship.<\/p>\n

2. Have the conversation<\/strong><\/p>\n

Society programs us to think of it as rude or crass to talk about money. This view tends to follow us wherever we go, even into a relationship. Being able to talk to your partner openly and honestly about everything, including money, is extremely important. If it\u2019s something that bothers you then you should be able to speak to your partner about it.<\/p>\n

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3. Do the maths<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sit down together and work out a system that works for both of you. If for example you look at your relationships income as a whole and work out what percentage you contribute to that whole then that gives you a pretty clear idea. If you bring in 20% more than your partner, then it\u2019s only fair to supply 20% more than them when it comes to bills etc.<\/p>\n

4. Recognise value other than money<\/strong><\/p>\n

There are a lot of ways a person can contribute to a relationship besides financial offerings. If you feel that your partner puts in less than you, try and see the value in the other things they do. Perhaps they cook more, clean more or organise the running of the house above and beyond what you do yourself.<\/p>\n

5. Change the way you think<\/strong><\/p>\n

Instead of thinking of \u2018yours and mine\u2019 think of it as \u2018ours.\u2019 View the money in your bank account as joint financial earnings and try and see money as just one piece of your relationship puzzle.<\/p>\n

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