No matter how long you\u2019ve been together, if the relationship isn\u2019t going well then it\u2019s really hard to know when you should actually break up. You want to give your relationship every chance you can to do well and for things to get back on track\u2014 but, let\u2019s be honest, you don\u2019t want to waste your time either.<\/p>\n
But no matter how long you\u2019ve been with someone, if you\u2019re on the brink of a break-up, one last push to make it work is worth it. \u201cIf you are about to break up you have nothing to lose. You might as well tell your partner what isn’t working,\u201d relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein tells Cosmopolitan UK. \u201cYou never know – they might be able to respond.\u201d Here\u2019s the 5 things Aimee suggests you can do before you break up.<\/p>\n
1. Lay it all out there<\/strong> 2. Be specific<\/strong> 3. Ask for help<\/strong> 4. Give them room to talk (and really listen)<\/strong> 5. Offer clean slates<\/strong> It\u2019s a fine line between wasting your time in a relationship that is going nowhere, and giving your partner a second chance. The best way to decide if you need to break up is to follows Aimee\u2019s advice: really be honest, while being open to criticism yourself. If that doesn\u2019t work, after you\u2019ve given your relationship a real chance to succeed, it may be time to call it quits. There\u2019s better stuff out there.<\/p>\n –<\/p>\n Source: UK Cosmo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" No matter how long you\u2019ve been together, if the relationship isn\u2019t going well then it\u2019s really hard to know when you should actually break up. You want to give your relationship every chance you can to do well and for things to get back on track\u2014 but, let\u2019s be honest, you don\u2019t want to waste […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[354],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\n\u201cTalk about it,\u201d Aimee says. And don\u2019t just tell them something\u2019s bothering you. You need to tell them the truth, that you\u2019re on the verge of breaking up with them. Sure, it\u2019s really scary – but they need to realise what the stakes are. Often we talk in general terms of being unhappy or struggling. It may be true, but that doesn’t give your partner a real sense of where you\u2019re at.<\/p>\n
\nYou need to let them know exactly what you\u2019re struggling with. \u201cExplain what isn\u2019t working for you. Ask for what you need.\u201d If you just say you\u2019re unhappy, your partner won\u2019t know what needs to change. If you\u2019re struggling with communication, say that to them. If you need more quality time, need to feel like you\u2019re more of a team, find it difficult when they work late five nights a week – whatever it is, saying it is the first step towards finding a compromise.<\/p>\n
\nGetting feedback from friends and family can be helpful, but sometimes you need to go even bigger. \u201cConsidering seeing a couple\u2019s counsellor,\u201d Aimee suggests. Obviously if it\u2019s been a short relationship, it may not feel worth the effort. That\u2019s totally fine. But if you have years under your belt and a shared life together, you may feel like it\u2019s worth trying everything to help save it. It\u2019s your call.<\/p>\n
\nRarely are unhappy relationships just one person\u2019s fault. If you\u2019re going to lay out all of the things that are bothering you, then you need to really be open to hearing it come back. Before you break up, ask if there\u2019s anything you can do to improve and meet your partner in the middle. There may be a lot of things that you\u2019re doing that are also hurting the relationship, so you need to be just as ready to change as you expect them to be.<\/p>\n
\nYou need to get everything off your chest to clear the way for a clean slate. Aimee stresses that you should \u201cbe open and honest\u201d and then you need to actually give your partner a chance to make things right. As much as it can be incredibly difficult, and even painful, to let it go, it\u2019s the only way to move on. Your relationship isn\u2019t going to succeed if you\u2019re constantly bringing up old baggage and waiting for your partner to F up. So before you break up, make sure you\u2019ve given it a real shot.<\/p>\n