{"id":32791,"date":"2014-07-18T09:08:28","date_gmt":"2014-07-18T09:08:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=32791"},"modified":"2014-07-18T09:08:28","modified_gmt":"2014-07-18T09:08:28","slug":"6-questions-that-will-save-your-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2014\/07\/6-questions-that-will-save-your-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"6 questions that will save your relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\u201cHey, what\u2019s going on?\u201d Marc asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot much,\u201d I said. \u00a0\u201cAnd how was your day?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was OK,\u201d Marc said\u2026<\/p>\n

And just like that our conversation would be over. \u00a0For the longest time, this is exactly how Marc and I initiated conversations with each other at the end of long workdays.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Sure, we greeted each other and asked a couple questions, but they weren\u2019t the right questions. \u00a0They were meaningless inquires that were stale and thoughtless. \u00a0And, not surprisingly, our conversations went nowhere. \u00a0Which, in time, ended up hurting our relationship.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, before it was too late, we learned to communicate more effectively. \u00a0We learned that if we really wanted to deepen our relationship \u2013 if we really cared to know what\u2019s going on in each other\u2019s heads and hearts \u2013 we needed to ask better questions, and then really listen to each other\u2019s answers.<\/p>\n

Specifically, we learned that we needed to ask questions that carry this fundamental message: \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not just checking the box here. \u00a0I\u2019m asking you because I really care how you feel and what you have to say. \u00a0I really want to know YOU.\u201d<\/p>\n

So today, we want to help you ask questions that will save your relationshipsfrom a lot of grief. \u00a0The bottom line is, if you don\u2019t want to have shallow, meaningless conversations with the important people in your life, you can\u2019t ask shallow, meaningless questions. \u00a0A thoughtful, caring question is a key that will unlock the closed doors inside the people you love.<\/p>\n

And although Marc and I learned this the hard way, we\u2019re happy we learned. \u00a0We don\u2019t ask shallow questions anymore, like, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d \u00a0After several years of practicing more mindful question-asking, we now find ourselves naturally asking questions that strengthen our relationship. \u00a0Let\u2019s take a look at some examples\u2026<\/p>\n

1. \u00a0What made you feel good about yourself today?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ask a loved one this question to help them celebrate what\u2019s right about their life, right now.<\/p>\n

It goes without saying, not every day will be good, but there will always be something good about every day. \u00a0The key is to notice these things and celebrate them. \u00a0We must train our minds to see the good. \u00a0Positivity is a choice. \u00a0The happiness of our lives, and our relationships, depends on the quality of our thoughts. \u00a0When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change how we think about it. \u00a0And the first step is celebrating what CAN be celebrated \u2013 the lessons, the laughs, and the love we\u2019ve experienced along the way.<\/p>\n

And best of all, when you help a loved one celebrate these things, your gesture, in and of itself, becomes something worth celebrating and smiling about.<\/p>\n

2. \u00a0What has been making you feel alone and unworthy?<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is a difficult question to ask, and an even more difficult one to answer. \u00a0But it\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\n

Sometimes we feel as though the world is crashing down around us, as if the pain we are experiencing is unique only to us in the moment. \u00a0This, of course, is far from the truth. \u00a0We are all in this together. \u00a0The very demons that torment each of us, torment all of us. \u00a0It is our challenges and troubles that connect us at the deepest level. \u00a0Once we accept this, our relationships become a place where we can look each other in the eye and say, \u201cI\u2019m lost and struggling at the moment,\u201d and we can nod back at each other and say, \u201cMe too,\u201d \u2026and that\u2019s OK. \u00a0Because not being \u201cOK\u201d all the time, is perfectly OK.<\/p>\n

If you think about the people who have had the greatest positive effect on your life \u2013 the ones who truly made a difference \u2013 you will likely realize that they aren\u2019t the ones that tried to give you all the answers or solve all your problems. \u00a0They\u2019re the ones who sat silently with you when you needed a moment to think, who lent you a shoulder when you needed to cry, and who tolerated not having all the answers, but stood beside you anyway. \u00a0Be this person for those you care about every chance you get.<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0What have I done recently that helped you feel loved and appreciated?<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is a great question, not only to ask someone you care about, but also to ask yourself. \u00a0Think about it. \u00a0How ARE you showing your love and appreciation?<\/p>\n

If you struggle with this question in any way, here\u2019s a wake-up call for you: \u00a0No matter how sure you are of someone\u2019s love, it is always nice to be reminded of it. \u00a0Loving someone and having them love you back is the most precious phenomenon in the world, and it should be expressed as such. \u00a0When you truly love someone, be loving in words and deeds every single day. \u00a0Don\u2019t beat around the bush. \u00a0Be straightforward.<\/p>\n

If you appreciate someone today, tell them. \u00a0If you adore someone today, show them. \u00a0Hearts are often confused and broken by thoughtful words left unspoken, and loving deeds left undone. \u00a0There might not be a tomorrow. \u00a0Today is the day to express your love and admiration.<\/p>\n

4. \u00a0What scares you about our relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Truth be told, what often scares us the most is our vulnerability \u2013 how we are unavoidably vulnerable to each other when we choose to be in a relationship. \u00a0So discuss this fact openly. \u00a0Clear the air with the people you care about.<\/p>\n

Consider the fact that all of us are subconsciously hardwired to connect with each other \u2013 through friendship, love, intimacy, and so forth \u2013 and your willingness to be vulnerable is the gateway to the affection you crave. \u00a0But it takes serious courage to push the limits of your vulnerability, to dig deeper and deeper into the core of who you are as an individual, and not only love and accept the imperfect parts of yourself, but also expose them to someone else, trusting that this person will hold them lovingly.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, to love is to be vulnerable, and to be willing to be vulnerable is to show your absolute greatest strength and your truest self. \u00a0Finding and nurturing the right relationships that make this kind of love possible is a beautiful, lifelong process.<\/p>\n

5. \u00a0How much have you loved yourself lately?<\/strong><\/p>\n

No one in this world can expect anyone else to love and respect them more than they are willing to love and respect themself. \u00a0Period.<\/p>\n

So, if you want to awaken happiness in a relationship, start by living a life that makes you happy and then radiate your happiness into your relationship. \u00a0If you want to eliminate suffering in a relationship, start by eliminating the dark and negative parts of yourself, and then radiate your positivity into your relationship. \u00a0Truly, the greatest power you have in this world is the power of your own self-transformation. \u00a0All the positive change you seek in any relationship starts with the one in the mirror.<\/p>\n

Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself. \u00a0Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, \u201cI love you, and from now on I\u2019m going to act like it.\u201d \u00a0It\u2019s important to be nice to others, but it\u2019s even more important to be nice to yourself.<\/p>\n

When we practice self-love and self-respect, we give ourselves the opportunity to be happy. \u00a0When we are happy, we become better friends, better family members, and better lovers.)<\/p>\n

6. \u00a0What else hasn\u2019t been asked or discussed?<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is a simple question you have to ask yourself, as it leads to other relevant questions you might ask a person you\u2019re in a relationship with. \u00a0It\u2019s about tapping into what you already know is going on in their life.<\/p>\n

For example, if your husband had a big meeting today, you might ask, \u201cHow did you feel during the meeting today?\u201d \u00a0Or if your daughter has been talking about a new friend, ask her, \u201cWhat did you say to your new friend during recess today?\u201d \u00a0Or if you know a friend\u2019s mom is fighting cancer, don\u2019t avoid the topic, address it directly: \u201cHow is your mom\u2019s chemo going?\u201d<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, you can\u2019t be afraid to dive deeper and have certain conversations. \u00a0Remember that questions are like gifts \u2013 \u00a0it\u2019s the thought behind them that the receiver feels. \u00a0We have to know the receiver well enough to give the right gifts and ask the right questions. \u00a0Generic gifts and questions are all right, but personal gifts and questions feel better. \u00a0Because love is personal. \u00a0The more attention and time you give to the questions you ask, the more beautiful the answers will become, and the stronger and stronger your relationships will grow.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source:\u00a0marcandangel.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cHey, what\u2019s going on?\u201d Marc asked. \u201cNot much,\u201d I said. \u00a0\u201cAnd how was your day?\u201d \u201cIt was OK,\u201d Marc said\u2026 And just like that our conversation would be over. \u00a0For the longest time, this is exactly how Marc and I initiated conversations with each other at the end of long workdays. Sure, we greeted each […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":32799,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\n6 questions that will save your relationships - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. 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