{"id":326234,"date":"2017-06-07T14:07:41","date_gmt":"2017-06-07T14:07:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=326234"},"modified":"2017-06-07T14:07:41","modified_gmt":"2017-06-07T14:07:41","slug":"9-signs-youre-not-radically-accepting-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2017\/06\/9-signs-youre-not-radically-accepting-him\/","title":{"rendered":"9 Signs you’re not radically accepting him"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your need to push him or her to the edge is a love crusher.<\/strong><\/p>\n

As Andrea Miller describes in her book Radical Acceptance<\/em>, radically accepting your partner isn\u2019t always easy, but it is worth it. Radically accepting this person for who he or she is; radically accepting yourself for who you are; recognizing when your own junk and baggage are creeping into your relationship; recognizing when your desires and needs are projected onto your partner; forgetting that he or she has his or her own unique desires and needs; recognizing when you are getting in the way of your own happiness with your partner; acceptance of yourself and your partner\u00a0\u2014 \u00a0this is what love takes.<\/p>\n

Here are 9 signs you\u2019re not practicing radical acceptance with your partner.<\/p>\n

1. You push them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

This is one I had to learn myself. Pushing someone because you need him or her to do what you want him or her to do\u00a0won\u2019t help the relationship. It must come from the other person, and if it doesn\u2019t, either you wait for it to come in his or her own time\u00a0or you decide you cannot be with the person.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

If you are pushing your partner to do\/be\/say something, you are actively asking this person to push you back \u2014 and not in the best way. Quit it. Let this person come to around; if not, then you make the choice if this relationship works for you or not.<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/section>\n

2. You shut them out<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you get upset and emotionally\u00a0shut your partner out? Are you difficult to approach? This is a hard example of you not radically accepting yourself<\/em>. By doing so, you make it difficult for your partner and, in a sense, are not radically accepting him or her.<\/p>\n

How so? Well, you\u2019re not giving this person the chance to communicate with you. You\u2019re ending the conversation before it happens. It\u2019s not good.<\/p>\n

3. You assume<\/strong><\/p>\n

If your partner upsets you and you assume it\u2019s because he or she wants to make you mad,\u00a0you\u2019re not radically accepting your love. You\u2019re not considering how his or her day may have impacted that one thing that bothered you.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re assuming, which just makes an ass of you. Stop it. There could be any number of reasons for your partner\u2019s behavior.<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/section>\n

4. You think they’re mind-readers.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBut I really wanted\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t she know\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Ever hear yourself saying or thinking these things? Our partners aren\u2019t mind-readers. Radically accept that your partner will mess up and won\u2019t always know the right thing to do.<\/p>\n

Accept that you \u2014 by not communicating your needs \u2014 are uncomfortable with your own desires and needs. You are feeling guilt over what you want\u00a0and therefore\u00a0can\u2019t share it with your partner. Somehow, you expect this person to \u201cknow\u201d what you want, which is unfair to everyone involved.<\/p>\n

5. You react without thinking.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Are you prone to blowing up or jumping to respond to your partner\u2019s text or email with disapproval? Radical acceptance requires you to breathe deep and think before you react to your partner. Oftentimes, if we just thought more carefully, we would respond in a more appropriate manner.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re blowing up at your partner or reacting too quickly, you\u2019re not radically accepting him or her and you\u2019re not much fun to be around, either.<\/p>\n

6. You constantly complain<\/strong><\/p>\n

We all complain from time to time about our partners, but if you have made it a constant bitch session, it\u2019s a sure sign you\u2019re not radically accepting your partner. Think of it this way:\u00a0Would an outsider view your partner\u2019s behavior with the same irritation? Or are you\u00a0overreacting?<\/p>\n

7. You always have to be right<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Have you noticed\u00a0that you\u2019re always trying to \u201cwin\u201d any battle or disagreement that comes up between you and your partner? This desire to win is a sure sign of many things:<\/div>\n
    \n
  • You\u2019re not listening to your partner.<\/li>\n
  • You\u2019re insecure.<\/li>\n
  • You\u2019re not accepting yourself or your partner.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Don\u2019t focus on the \u201cwin\u201d in the relationship. Focus on getting on the same track and, if possible, sharing the same vision.<\/p>\n

    \n
    \u00a08. You keep having the same fight<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

    Do you two have the same old fight\u00a0constantly? Think about it: is arguing going to change whatever your partner is doing or not doing? It hasn\u2019t thus far, so accept it or walk away. Battling and expecting your partner to do X, Y or Z has gotten you nowhere thus far. Accept and move forward!<\/p>\n

    9. You withhold affection<\/strong><\/p>\n

    When you get chilly and start to shut out your partner physically, it\u2019s a brutal sign that you\u2019re not radically accepting this person and are letting your emotions shut the relationship down. If you feel this way, consider these things first:<\/p>\n

      \n
    • Are you overreacting? Would a stranger agree to your cold shoulder act?<\/li>\n
    • Why are you so upset? Is it worth it?<\/li>\n
    • Are you communicating how you feel with your partner, or expecting him or her to mind-read?<\/li>\n
    • Are you projecting what you want your partner to do, onto him or her without considering if he or she wants to do it or not?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      –<\/p>\n

      Source: Your Tango<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Your need to push him or her to the edge is a love crusher. As Andrea Miller describes in her book Radical Acceptance, radically accepting your partner isn\u2019t always easy, but it is worth it. Radically accepting this person for who he or she is; radically accepting yourself for who you are; recognizing when your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[354],"tags":[1811,3],"yoast_head":"\n9 Signs you're not radically accepting him - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. 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