People can be ungrateful, I know. For some consecutive times, a particular group of people can treat us so badly. It\u2019s hard not to say, as a woman, that \u201call men are same,\u201d sometimes\u2015 I know. Our bad experiences may lend credence to this; other people\u2019s experience, too.<\/p>\n
However, remember that just as you may wrongly generalize people, so may others wrongly generalize you. Just as you may think that all men are bad, so may another ill-treated man assume all women are bad. But\u2026 is such a generalization true? Of course not.<\/p>\n
Our experiences are based on who we meet. That is why it is so wrong to stereotype. Coming into contact with one bad nut doesn\u2019t mean every nut on this Earth is bad.<\/p>\n
Your experiences, whether good or bad, should help you make some vital decisions in your life. However, you should not generalize every situation you may encounter with regards to your past experiences.<\/p>\n
If you went down a particular road, for instance, and got bitten, it doesn\u2019t go without saying that every time you go down that same road, you may have that same experience. Your bad experiences should teach you vital lessons. They should not change you. You are not your bad experience!<\/p>\n
I once read a news piece about this young woman who had had five children with five different men and on each count, the men promised her marriage. I gaped. Did she learn her lessons at all?<\/p>\n
Our experiences should teach us lessons we shouldn\u2019t ever forget but it shouldn\u2019t change our perception of people. You see, after her first experience, she should have learnt her lessons. Unfortunately, she didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
When we were kids, I was once given a hot chase by a neighbour\u2019s dog after forcing my way into their home. After that harrowing experience, I grew up with a particular feeling towards every dog\u2015 hatred and fear. But come on, not all dogs were bullies. Some were actually friendly to hang around with.<\/p>\n
With time, I learnt my lesson\u2015 don\u2019t barge into someone\u2019s home uninvited! Much as I tried, I did away with that hateful feeling towards every single dog I met down the street. Our bad experiences should not make us feel everyone would treat us like someone did because they bear their names too or even have the same profession. Learn your lessons. Don\u2019t stereotype people!<\/p>\n
Draw a thick line between your lessons and your perception towards others. When we allow our bad experience(s) coerce us to generalize situations and put people into stereotypes, we miss out on golden opportunities, trust me. When we permit our unfortunate experience(s) to define us, we never live life to the fullest.<\/p>\n
We become paranoiac. We suspect everyone around us. Our bad experiences may forever control our thought patterns if we allow them to. They\u2019d prevent us from ever taking new chances or opportunities because of fear or bitterness. They\u2019d hold our lives back.<\/p>\n
Your bad experiences should make you learn your lessons, I repeat. Forgive the people but don\u2019t forget your lessons. Life is always not the same. Having an unpleasant experience with a particular group of people or tribe, for instance, doesn\u2019t mean every single person who belongs there would treat you same. When we stereotype people, we hardly get the best out of them.<\/p>\n
The fact that a man treated you badly doesn\u2019t make all men evil. It\u2019s very unfair to regard all men as same because of what just one or two of them did to you. Don\u2019t be all bitter about marriage because a woman mistreated you. Don\u2019t take a revenge on others because of what another did. It\u2019s such a pain to let go of your bad experience but it\u2019s even more painful to let strangers pay for what they did not do to you!<\/p>\n
Can you imagine if every employer insulted you in the face because an employee once hurt them? That\u2019s exactly how it looks like when we become all bitter towards others for what they even know nothing about. Treat others as you may have others treat you.<\/p>\n
The good man that lives inside of us is like the indelible spots of a leopard. The kindness that sits in our hearts is like how our names have been etched on our minds. We are originally born good. Our experiences make us go bad.<\/p>\n
Just as we can barely forget our names, so can we barely let go of the good being in us. Don\u2019t exchange the good inside for a bad experience. Learn your lessons but still be a good person. Don\u2019t stop doing good because someone didn\u2019t appreciate it.<\/p>\n
Your bad experiences should not change you. They should not define us. No matter how harsh the rains are, they can\u2019t wash the leopard\u2019s spots. Be good in spite of all the bad that has been hurled at you.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t regard every day as bad because one was. Our past should not contaminate our future. We are not our bad experiences!\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to be the good person you were until your bad experience came. However, you can\u2019t let others change who you really are. Learn your lessons but don\u2019t let them get in the way of how you perceive or treat others.<\/p>\n
Be that good man always. Don\u2019t let anyone take way your kind heart, young woman. No matter how many times people return your goodness with ingratitude, still do good to others just because they need it\u2026 not because you want something in return.<\/p>\n
Learn your lessons. However, don\u2019t make others pay for those lessons. Every person or opportunity you meet is new. Don\u2019t mess it up with your bitterness. Yes, be cautious but\u2026 don\u2019t be suspicious. Once bitten, not twice shy but\u2026 never shy.<\/p>\n
Happy Easter holidays!<\/p>\n
By: Kobina Ansah<\/p>\n
The writer is a playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com), a writing company based in Accra. Get interactive with him on his Facebook page, Kobina Ansah.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" People can be ungrateful, I know. For some consecutive times, a particular group of people can treat us so badly. It\u2019s hard not to say, as a woman, that \u201call men are same,\u201d sometimes\u2015 I know. Our bad experiences may lend credence to this; other people\u2019s experience, too. However, remember that just as you may […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[374],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n