What makes some couples go the distance, while other romances fizzle out before they\u2019ve even gotten off the ground? Below, relationship experts share seven negative qualities that can undermine a relationship in the early stages.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s nothing wrong with setting high expectations for potential partners. But you\u2019re setting yourself up for failure if you believe a soulmate should be responsible for your sense of fulfillment in life, said Kristin Davin, a psychologist in New York City. \u201cI see a lot of people in relationships who are overly dependent on their spouse for everything,\u201d she said. \u201cLooking to your partner for all your emotional support creates a burden on the other person.\u201dIt may kill you to spend time apart in the beginning, but doing so is the best way to avoid a co-dependent relationship, Davin said.<\/p>\n
Your significant other should be your partner in life, not your rival. If you\u2019re secretly peeved that your girlfriend got a raise, it doesn\u2019t bode well for your future, said Laurel Steinberg, a relationship therapist and professor of psychology \u201cBeing able to genuinely celebrate a partner\u2019s success is so important in a healthy relationship, even if your own success pales in comparison,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cHaving a partner who is jealous of your accomplishments is painful, alienating and depletes the love in a relationship.\u201d Happy couples know that a personal or career achievement is a win for both of them.<\/p>\n
If you want your relationship to have legs, building trust early on is essential. When one person hides things from the other, no matter how small, it creates suspicion and distance in the relationship, said Danielle Adinolfi, a marriage and family therapist. \u201cTo build your relationship up you need to build bridges, not burn them,\u201d she said. \u201cTelling one another things that may feel hard to disclose is a way to be vulnerable with your partner and that vulnerability will bring you closer together.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not uncommon for long-time couples to have desire discrepancies; partners\u2019 sex drives ebb and flow through the years. Getting through those sexually frustrating times requires heightened communication. If your sex drives are already at odds and you\u2019re unwilling to talk about it, it should trouble you, said Lynn Zakeri, a couples therapist. \u201cYou need to be honest upfront,\u201d she said. \u201cWhen one partner has more desire than the other, it can lead to not only sexual dissatisfaction, but also to guilt, insecurity and rejection for the partner who desires more. Talking about it can only help satisfy both parties.\u201d<\/p>\n
The qualities that annoy you now about your partner are only going to get worse with time. Instead of growing increasingly annoyed at their bad habits, try to focus on what you love about your partner, said Christine Wilke, a marriage therapist. \u201cPractice honing in on the good stuff \u2015 and don\u2019t keep it a secret,\u201d she said. Tell you partner often what you love and appreciate about them.\u201d If you don\u2019t amplify the positive, Wilke said, \u201cyour negative thoughts will begin to grow and permeate like a big, black cloud until that\u2019s all you see.\u201d Dwelling on each other\u2019s imperfections will create a toxic situation.<\/p>\n
It may sound counterintuitive to fight and disagree, but the damage you do when you play out imaginary arguments in your head is often worse, said Melissa Fritchle, a family and couple therapist.\u201cOnce you begin assuming your partner will respond negatively to you, you play out a worst-case scenario in your mind and cast your S.O. as the villain,\u201d she said. \u201cYou create resentment through the story you made up.\u201dOn the other hand, if you give your S.O. a chance to respond, they may be more accommodating and fair than you think they\u2019d be, Fritchle said.\u201cIn any case, at least you are communicating and have the option of coming to an agreement,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re incredibly lucky if you find someone who cares for you as much as you care for them. Don\u2019t undermine that kind of happiness by taking it for granted, Zakeri said. \u201cSometimes, people get so caught up in the daily grind that they neglect to put effort and work into their relationships,\u201d she said. \u201cMake time to listen and prioritize each other and each other\u2019s needs. That\u2019s what will keep a relationship strong.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Source: Huffington Post<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What makes some couples go the distance, while other romances fizzle out before they\u2019ve even gotten off the ground? Below, relationship experts share seven negative qualities that can undermine a relationship in the early stages. You expect way too much from your partner There\u2019s nothing wrong with setting high expectations for potential partners. But you\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":221690,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1565],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n