Destiny does not exist \u2014 neither does love at first sight. There isn\u2019t \u201cthe one\u201d person out there for anyone.\u00a0These are all reinforcements we tell ourselves to explain the mundane and simple truth: The timing of successful relationships is what allowed them to work.<\/p>\n
Sure, it\u2019s romantic to believe that fate brings you and a significant other together. More realistically, however, you likely wake up one day and, whether or not you realize it, your heart tells your head that it\u2019s ready to love. Once that happens, someone will unexpectedly walk into your life and he or she will become the person you decide you want.<\/p>\n
When I moved across the country a few years ago, I didn\u2019t want a serious relationship with any guy. After I had found a cool job, a kickass roommate and a great group of friends, though, I began to feel differently. Life was good, I was happy, and my heart decided it was time.<\/p>\n
I met someone with whom I had a short, intense and unhealthy relationship. I was not happy dating him, but I wanted desperately to make it work. Why? I chose him when the time was right for me.<\/p>\n
My heart might have been ready, but his wasn\u2019t \u2014 even though he truly wanted it to be. I felt foolish. When I was finally ready to allow someone into my life, I happened to fall for someone who was terrible for me and who made it difficult for me to trust anyone for a long time following our relationship.<\/p>\n
If I had met him at a different point in my life \u2014 when I wasn\u2019t prepared to be so open with someone \u2014 things would have transpired quite differently. I certainly wouldn\u2019t have attached myself to him. Even if he had, in fact, been a great fit for me, or if he felt like he was ready when I didn\u2019t feel the same, love works best \u2014 and feels best \u2014 when both people are willing and excited to give and receive.<\/p>\n
Admitting that you are at a point in your life to offer and accept love is a big deal; it doesn\u2019t always happen when life is sunshine and rainbows.<\/p>\n
My best friend started dating someone about one week before her own cross-country move; she was feeling vulnerable and scared and wanted to hang onto something or someone reminiscent of her hometown. She needed someone at that time, and it\u2019s not that she needed the particular someone she chose \u2014 he could have been anyone, really \u2014 but he happened to walk into her life at the right moment.<\/p>\n
Timing is funny like that; it\u2019s a common reason why people stay in bad relationships. We want to believe our hearts are ready and we\u2019ve found a person who is ready, too \u2014 whether or not it\u2019s actually the case. We try to make things work that just aren\u2019t meant to work.<\/p>\n
One of my good friends did everything he could to make it work with a significant other. It was frustrating for me and for other friends to witness him try so hard only to have her jerk him around. Though, he felt prepared to let someone into his life and he did everything he could to salvage the relationship. Even after months of her hot-and-cold attitude, he wanted her because she was the one he\u2019d decided to let in.<\/p>\n
At some point, you\u2019ve probably heard someone say, \u201cIt didn\u2019t work out between us because the timing just wasn\u2019t right.\u201d Hell, you\u2019ve probably even said it yourself. However, the timing isn\u2019t \u201cjust\u201d one part of it.<\/p>\n
Timing is everything.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s totally possible that you\u2019re able to recognize how amazing someone else is, or vice versa, but if the timing is off, giving or receiving love will be difficult. It really doesn\u2019t matter how compatible two people are; if the time isn\u2019t right in someone\u2019s life, he or she won\u2019t be able to love completely.<\/p>\n
Immediately after graduation, I spent a summer in San Francisco for an arts program. I met someone who ended up being a great match for me \u2014 someone who challenged my thinking, opened up me up to new ideas and was equally interested in me. It was exciting, but not only were we both getting out of long-term relationships, he was also still in school on the West Coast and I was returning to New York in the fall.<\/p>\n
Now, this isn\u2019t to say that you shouldn\u2019t pursue someone if the timing is wrong. I still had a great time with the guy I met in San Francisco, but to pursue anything more than we did would have ended in a whole lot of sorrow for us both.<\/p>\n
So, flirt, hang out and have sex, but don\u2019t disillusion yourself into thinking that you\u2019re going to be able to change another human being\u2019s wants, needs or personal circumstance.\u00a0Be honest. Be honest with the other person and with yourself. You deserve to be involved with someone who is able to love you completely.<\/p>\n
As much as timing can interfere with our desires and even keep us in bad relationships, timing is also why we feel so incredibly fortunate when we have wonderful, healthy relationships. Suddenly, you have found a person who loves and accepts how weird\/funny\/cool you are, and the timing is right for you both.<\/p>\n
Timing makes you infinitely grateful to have found that person at exactly the moment you did.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Source:\u00a0elitedaily.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Destiny does not exist \u2014 neither does love at first sight. There isn\u2019t \u201cthe one\u201d person out there for anyone.\u00a0These are all reinforcements we tell ourselves to explain the mundane and simple truth: The timing of successful relationships is what allowed them to work. Sure, it\u2019s romantic to believe that fate brings you and a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":20397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[465,968,970,51,969],"yoast_head":"\n