A relationship isn\u2019t an Olympic event, with glory for the winner and sour grapes for the loser. It\u2019s a partnership that puts both of you on equal footing, and that\u2019s why you have to work hard to make it work<\/p>\n
A relationship isn\u2019t an Olympic event, with glory for the winner and sour grapes for the loser. It\u2019s a partnership that puts both of you on equal footing, and that\u2019s why you have to work hard to make it work<\/p>\n
Have you ever had an epic argument with the person you love and thought you\u2019d won?<\/p>\n
Sorry. You didn\u2019t win. To win a fight implies that there was a loser, and when you\u2019re in a team, nobody gets to be a winner or a loser. There\u2019s an element of competitiveness in that perspective that\u2019s neither healthy nor kind. It\u2019s not centred on love and commitment when you\u2019re in a competition.<\/p>\n
My boyfriend makes more money than I do right now
\nIt\u2019s really hard for me to say it out loud, because it wasn\u2019t always this way. I used to be a fiercely independent single mom who wouldn\u2019t let him carry my groceries for me. Poor guy, he puts up with a lot.<\/p>\n
Poor guy, he puts up with a lot.<\/strong><\/p>\n It was uncomfortable for me when I realised this, because it went against everything I had worked towards as a twenty-something-career-focused-single-mom, and even as a thirty-something-mama-with-more. He doesn\u2019t do it to compete with me, and he does not lord it over me. It\u2019s just what it is, and it means I have to lean on him sometimes. Other times, he\u2019s leant on me. This is teamwork, and it\u2019s refreshing.<\/p>\n My best friend is a stay at home mom, animal rescuer and activist I see myself as more selfish than she is, and yet, every time we meet, she tells me how proud she is to know me. There\u2019s no competition between us, because we don\u2019t compete at each other\u2019s levels. You should also distrust someone who views you as competition, especially when they allege to be your friend.<\/p>\n What does it look like when someone sees you as competition but pretends to be your friend? That\u2019s easy. They\u2019ll remark on how much weight you\u2019ve put on, or start conversations with a cutesy \u201cI don\u2019t mean to be rude but\u2026\u201d They do mean to be rude, and they\u2019re doing it to belittle you. They\u2019re also doing it to feel better about themselves, so they can feel like a winner. You don\u2019t have to compete, so go ahead and delete that contact off your phone. There you go.<\/p>\n Ah, and yes, the ex-pat<\/strong> I have another friend who also moved countries, and who\u2019s been more honest about their family\u2019s journey. It\u2019s not all lazy days of milk and honey, and they\u2019re not here to compete. They moved to live the life they dreamt of, and it worked out that they found it that way. Guess which friend I\u2019m keeping on speed dial?<\/p>\n –<\/p>\n Source: capitalfm<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A relationship isn\u2019t an Olympic event, with glory for the winner and sour grapes for the loser. It\u2019s a partnership that puts both of you on equal footing, and that\u2019s why you have to work hard to make it work A relationship isn\u2019t an Olympic event, with glory for the winner and sour grapes for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[354],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nI believe she\u2019s infinitely better at parenting than I am, and makes a better contribution to the world than I have. She does things every day that I wish I had the ability to, but I either run out of time, energy or focus.<\/p>\n
\nThey\u2019ll remark on how much weight you\u2019ve put on, or start conversations with a cutesy \u201cI don\u2019t mean to be rude but\u2026<\/p>\n
\nThis one\u2019s particularly South African \u2013 it\u2019s the person who leaves the country and goes out of their way to tell you how much better their life is since they left. They talk down to you as though you\u2019re a silly thing for staying, yet can\u2019t help but chime in on every news story about the country they left behind.<\/p>\n