As surprising as it may seem, not everybody wants to get married. There are certain types of people who\u00a0are not marriage material because they will never make great, dedicated partners. If you have reservations about your\u00a0partner, it\u2019s best to address them now to save yourself from heartache down the road. Sadly, so many of us marry these types of people anyway (the ones we have reservations about) and find out later, rather than sooner, that we shouldn\u2019t have married them to begin with. Sometimes, you just have to go with your gut.<\/p>\n
Maybe more of us are listening to our guts and opting not to marry those who we know aren\u2019t really marriage material. According to Pew Research, as reported by\u00a0Time, 25% of millennials will never get married, and the research organization predicts that more and more folks under the age of 35 will be single forever. So why aren\u2019t people getting married anymore? According to the data, there are three main reasons people gave for their singleness: 30% say that they haven\u2019t found the right person, 27% say they aren\u2019t financially stable enough, and 22% say they are not ready to settle down.<\/p>\n
Worried your partner might not be\u00a0marriage material? Here\u2019s what to look for.<\/p>\n
1. The Flake<\/strong><\/p>\n This is someone who seems to weave\u00a0in and out of your life and is never really able to commit, even though your chemistry is undeniable. It would be really hard to nail this person down. Author Brenda Della Casa of\u00a0Cinderella Was a Liar: The Real Reason You Can\u2019t Find (or Keep) a Prince\u00a0speaks about this kind of person, both male and female.\u00a0\u201cThey might tell you to be patient or to \u2018trust\u2019 them, but you\u2019re probably feeling more anxiety than butterflies,\u201d she says. \u201cYou have an instinct for a reason and it\u2019s OK to trust and protect yourself in relationships. Those who want to be with you will make adjustments and those who want to be with you out of convenience will fall by the wayside when you set strong boundaries in place.\u201d<\/p>\n 2. The too-much-too-soon person<\/strong><\/p>\n You\u2019ve been dating for two weeks and you already feel like you\u2019re being overwhelmed. It\u2019s not a good thing when one party dives into the relationship too soon \u2014 things take time to develop. Amy Van Doran,\u00a0New York City-based matchmaker and founder of The Modern Love Club, breaks down this type of person:\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s the rush here? If it\u2019s real, you are not going anywhere. This excitement is less about you, and more about their insecurities and who they are as a person,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s a red flag when they are too effusive with their words and their actions before they get to know you as a person. The second you share their excitement, the whirlwind has already passed and they are onto their next romantic conquest. Time is the best indicator for who a person actually is.\u201d<\/p>\n 3. The incredibly selfish person<\/strong><\/p>\n Your romantic partner should be supportive and at least indulge in listening to whatever your gripes are. If you\u2019re getting the sense that your partner doesn\u2019t care or is not being totally supportive, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. Dating coach Jeffrey Platts explains:\u00a0\u201cThis is really about all forms of giving.\u201d<\/p>\n He adds: \u201cIs he generous with his compliments? Does she listen to you when you\u2019re having a rough day? Overall, do you feel that he or she is your absolute biggest fan and cheerleader? And just as important as giving, are they able to pause and fully receive whatever you\u2019re giving? If not, what\u2019s the point? It takes a healthy self-esteem to openly give or receive an expression of love or support \u2014 and you need that in a partner.\u201d<\/p>\n 4. The Critic<\/strong><\/p>\n Your partner\u00a0is not supposed to be critical of you, and is\u00a0supposed to accept your flaws and weird habits as part of you. Critics are\u00a0only concerned with\u00a0what they\u00a0want and how they want you to change in order to fit that mold of their \u201cideal\u201d you.<\/p>\n \u201cInitially, their stubbornness and convictions might seem attractive \u2014 it\u2019s hot when someone knows who they are and what they want,\u201d said Julie Nguyen, a matchmaker at The Modern Love Club in New York City. \u201cThose qualities start to turn ugly when you realize there\u2019s no room for what\u00a0you\u00a0want. These critics demand things to be done a certain way, their way. Real relationships are negotiated by compromise, empathy and the capacity to want to understand where the other person is coming from.\u201d<\/p>\n 5. The Sidekick<\/strong><\/p>\n You may think that having a partner who agrees with you all the time and never fusses over anything and allows you to take the lead with everything is the equivalent of discovering lost jewels in the pyramids of Ancient Egypt; you\u2019ve really hit on something undiscovered and rare. However, Nguyen says you want a partner who is willing to compromise, not someone who sits on the sidelines and agrees and allows you to lead on every decision you make as a couple.<\/p>\n \u201cInstead of delving inwards, this type of person intensely picks up your hobbies, follows your passions and does whatever you want to do,\u201d she explained. \u201cIn the beginning, it\u2019s easy and flattering to have someone like you without much effort. However as the relationship progresses, it becomes unfulfilling when you start to realize there\u2019s no challenge in the partnership because the other person has nothing else to offer. You need a partner, not a sidekick.\u201d<\/p>\n 6. The Narcissist<\/strong><\/p>\n The narcissistic partner requires you to\u00a0do things his or her\u00a0way at all times. It would be a long, tedious life with someone who\u00a0has this particular quality; this is a trait you should avoid when looking for\u00a0a long-term partner, Della Casa said.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is someone who has the inability to empathize with those around them,\u201d she said. \u201cThink about being in a relationship with a narcissist for a minute: Any time you\u2019re hurt, need support or count on them to consider how you might feel \u2014 they won\u2019t be there for you. No real understanding, no sincere apologies, no consideration. That\u2019s definitely not the relationship you want.\u201d<\/p>\n 7. The Job Hopper<\/strong><\/p>\n Although you can\u2019t write someone off for being in the middle of a career change, you can if they\u2019re constantly hopping from job to job. Whether due to getting fired or quitting, it can signal a much larger problem, says Della Casa.<\/p>\n \u201cIt showcases an inability to make a long-term commitment to something and also gives some insight into their value system,\u201d she said. \u201cWhether their movement stems from a sense of entitlement, a lack of self worth or an inability to work well with others, that negative behavior or trait will ultimately find its way into your relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n 8. The Over-Reactor<\/strong><\/p>\n All couples fight.\u00a0In fact, disagreements\u00a0can sometimes show that you care about the relationship.\u00a0The problem arises when one partner over-reacts and doesn\u2019t fight fair, flipping out at the first sign of a disagreement.\u00a0\u201cBoth partners need to have to the emotional skill of hold space for the other\u2019s feelings and perspectives,\u201d says Platt.<\/p>\n Platt adds: \u201cIt\u2019s a big red flag if the person blows up at the first sign of fight and threatens to end the relationship. Our emotional triggers are opportunities to explore our emotions and grow closer, not automatic reasons to question your compatibility or the relationship. The question to ask is: \u2018Do I feel safe to express myself, even during the heated and stressful moments? And does my partner feel the same?\u2019 And if the answer is no, find out why.\u201d<\/p>\n 9. The Lone-Wolf<\/strong><\/p>\n Having a life outside your relationship is both healthy and essential; you shouldn\u2019t be dependent upon your partner for everything. However, if your partner\u00a0drops hints that he or she\u00a0doesn\u2019t need you, that is your exit cue, says Van Doran.<\/p>\n \u201cThe truth is, a little dependency in a relationship is not a bad thing,\u201d she said. \u201cAll humans crave connection and a relationship, it\u2019s an innate need for people. The overly independent person might say that they want a relationship but won\u2019t actually make the space in their life for two people. No matter what, you can\u2019t fit in because they won\u2019t let you get closer. The more you need\u2026 the further you push them away. Ultimately, you don\u2019t want to deal with that kind of emotional distance in a relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n –<\/p>\n Source:\u00a0Cheatsheet.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As surprising as it may seem, not everybody wants to get married. There are certain types of people who\u00a0are not marriage material because they will never make great, dedicated partners. If you have reservations about your\u00a0partner, it\u2019s best to address them now to save yourself from heartache down the road. Sadly, so many of us […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":114987,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\n