Have you ever felt like no matter what you do for someone, they don\u2019t appreciate it?<\/p>\n
Maybe you had a great relationship at one point, but things have\u00a0sort of slid toward the dark side.<\/p>\n
Either way, a partner lacking\u00a0appreciation can absolutely murder a relationship.\u00a0But sometimes,\u00a0as we live our busy lives, we stop showing our partners how much we care for them. If you\u2019ve ever been on the receiving end of this, you know how terrible it feels.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s how to get your partner to show you more\u00a0appreciation.<\/p>\n
1. Depersonalize It<\/strong><\/p>\n Work on this from the stance that they\u2019re on your side and actually want<\/em> to make you happy but \u2014\u00a0for whatever reason\u00a0\u2014\u00a0can\u2019t.\u00a0That’s a much more fixable situation than if you decide they don\u2019t love you or care about your happiness anymore.<\/p>\n Often we experience a lack of appreciation in our relationship not because the other person doesn\u2019t appreciate us but because\u00a0both people are busy, comfortable and\/or aren’t\u00a0great at showing their feelings. We often put the people closest to us through the most grief because we think, They already know how I feel.<\/em>\u00a0Not so.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why it\u2019s important to\u00a0take a step back and think about the other circumstances in your lives.\u00a0Are you busy? Have you and your partner been using your time and energy to invest in your relationship?\u00a0All\u00a0these\u00a0circumstantial things\u00a0can result in both of you\u00a0neglecting to take the time to acknowledge the other person\u2019s efforts.<\/p>\n Obviously, there\u2019s a big difference between they’re\u00a0\u201cso busy their head could spin\u201d\u00a0and they \u201cdon\u2019t care about you anymore\u201d. It\u2019s important\u00a0not to take it personally\u00a0when circumstances aren\u2019t ideal.<\/p>\n 2. Think About Your Own Behavior<\/strong><\/p>\n When we want something in our relationships, sometimes it works well to mirror the thing we want to receive. If you want your partner to say thank you, make sure that you\u2019re saying it yourself.\u00a0Don\u2019t fall into the trap of withholding your own appreciation because the other person has made you feel unappreciated.<\/p>\n Remember that\u00a0you can\u2019t get what you need by denying someone else what they need. Make sure you\u2019re noticing the things that your partner does for you and\u00a0going out of your way to mention it and draw attention\u00a0to how much it means to you. People often rise to your idealized treatment of them, but this cuts both ways. If you expect them to act shabbily toward you, you\u2019ll often find ways to back up your expectations.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not saying to start\u00a0trying too hard, I\u2019m suggesting you\u00a0make sure you\u2019re showing them your own appreciation by verbalizing it out loud.\u00a0Sometimes when we\u2019re lacking in our relationship, we fail to recognize that we aren\u2019t putting out what we want to receive \u2014 potentially because we\u2019re clueless, but also sometimes because we\u2019re\u00a0keeping score.<\/p>\n 3. Cut The Bitterness<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s so easy to\u00a0get jaded in your relationship\u00a0when it feels like things aren\u2019t going well. Unfortunately, when you allow it,\u00a0bitterness creates a spiral\u00a0where your partner stops doing things for you because you react bitterly, then they pull back more, and more bitterness results from that. Sooner or later, this gets out of hand,\u00a0and eventually both people feel disheartened about the future.<\/p>\n Recognize when you\u2019re hurt and angry\u00a0because when you ignore those feelings, the resulting\u00a0bitterness will drive the other person even further away.<\/p>\n 4. Discuss It, But Gently<\/strong><\/p>\n Sometimes\u00a0we get ideas about our relationship and don\u2019t actually tell our partner,\u00a0hoping they can read our mind.\u00a0After all, you can\u2019t change what you don\u2019t acknowledge, right? So if you\u2019re upset and you don\u2019t address it \u2014 unless they\u2019re a talented psychic \u2014 the problem will continue.<\/p>\n When you decide to bring it up, sometimes\u00a0a simple bid for reassurance can do the trick. Something like,\u00a0\u201cI\u2019ve noticed that we\u2019re super busy lately, but it would really mean a lot to me if you told me more often that you like things about what I\u2019m doing for us. I don\u2019t always know that you\u2019re happy.\u00a0I could use a little more attention.\u201d<\/p>\n That sounds raw and honest\u00a0because it is. <\/em>It\u2019s also NOT a listing of your partner\u2019s failings or an indictment of their character. It\u2019s a statement about what you need.\u00a0Remember that it\u2019s easier to get what you want from your partner when you actually tell<\/em> them what you want.<\/p>\n 5. Decide If The Relationship Is Fixable<\/strong><\/p>\n After doing the other things on this list,\u00a0give it a little time to see if things improve.\u00a0If you\u2019re still feeling vastly under-appreciated,\u00a0consider whether this can continue to go on, or if you\u2019re willing to\u00a0walk away\u00a0over it.<\/p>\n Do you see things\u00a0improving given your efforts?<\/p>\n Is this relatively minor or do you sense that you\u2019ve chosen someone\u00a0too selfish to acknowledge your needs\u00a0and give you the kind of relationship you want?\u00a0If it\u2019s the latter, staying is your choice, but recognize that they probably aren\u2019t going to change.<\/p>\n –<\/p>\n Source: Your Tango<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever felt like no matter what you do for someone, they don\u2019t appreciate it? Maybe you had a great relationship at one point, but things have\u00a0sort of slid toward the dark side. Either way, a partner lacking\u00a0appreciation can absolutely murder a relationship.\u00a0But sometimes,\u00a0as we live our busy lives, we stop showing our partners […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":120678,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\n