{"id":139197,"date":"2015-07-30T11:58:53","date_gmt":"2015-07-30T11:58:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=139197"},"modified":"2015-07-30T11:58:53","modified_gmt":"2015-07-30T11:58:53","slug":"8-reasons-you-hate-the-other-woman-more-than-your-cheating-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2015\/07\/8-reasons-you-hate-the-other-woman-more-than-your-cheating-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"8 reasons you HATE ‘the other woman’ more than your cheating husband"},"content":{"rendered":"

You confess to your BFF that your husband cheated on you. She may console you for the first few minutes, but\u00a0quickly the both of you redirect\u00a0all<\/em> of your focus on the\u00a0other woman.<\/p>\n

Who is she? What does she look like? Who does she think she is?<\/em>\u00a0You laugh and rage as you call the other woman a\u00a0homewrecker, whore, fat cow, a low-life slut and other derogatory names.<\/p>\n

You obsesses about making sure she gets what she\u00a0deserves,\u00a0plotting your revenge. You may fantasize about kicking her ass or shaming\u00a0her publicly.<\/p>\n

You feel thrilled when you hear about anything dreadful that happens to her. Anyone who hates her<\/em> is now a friend of yours\u00a0in your mind.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, you have little to\u00a0say\u00a0about the man in question \u2014 your husband, the one who was unfaithful.<\/p>\n

All the blame and shame falls\u00a0on the other woman. Why is that?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Men have cheated since the dawn of time. In the early\u00a01900s,\u00a0researchers\u00a0spoke about the “Coolidge effect” which is just a snazzy name indicating men need sexual variety in partners. In 1910, Carl Jung wrote a letter to Sigmund Freud stating, “The prerequisite for a good marriage it seems to me, is the license\u00a0to be\u00a0unfaithful.”<\/p>\n

It’s almost like we, as a society, expect<\/em> men to cheat even though\u00a0a\u00a0study\u00a0by the University of California-Irvine, revealed that only 11\u00a0percent\u00a0of adults have actually cheated on their spouse.<\/p>\n

According to relationship expert\u00a0Charles J. Orlando,\u00a0men who\u00a0cheat often admit knowing perfectly well that\u00a0they’re\u00a0hurting their\u00a0wife\u00a0\u2014\u00a0the\u00a0very one they\u00a0claim to love. They understood the\u00a0risk of\u00a0losing their family and sacrificing\u00a0their own integrity, but their own needs and\u00a0wants feel\u00a0unmet, so they\u00a0lie\u00a0to their wife anyway (deliberately) about cheating and they sometimes also lie to the other woman about even having a wife.<\/p>\n

He made the choice to cheat on you, but when the sh*t hits the fan, he manages to convince you that he’s just an innocent victim of her <\/em>advances and your<\/em> neglect. You feel vindicated in blaming the other woman and, in turn, ignoring\u00a0the fact that he purchased her lingerie, took her on trips, and sent sensual messages\u00a0to her. He did those things repeatedly, for an extended period of time, by choice<\/em>.<\/p>\n

So, why don’t women hold their cheating man more accountable (or at least equally accountable) than the other woman?\u00a0\u200b<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. You see the other woman as a threat. <\/strong>You’ve bought into the belief that a man has no self-control when it comes to sex. So there’s no way he’s capable of\u00a0practicing free\u00a0will when a woman clearly seduces him.<\/p>\n

2. You see the act of cheating as personal rejection. <\/strong>You begin to compare yourself to her in an effort to make yourself a better catch. After all, you’re prettier and smarter than her! It’s necessary to see her as a cold-hearted monster that set out to destroy your life if you’re looking at her in comparison to yourself.<\/p>\n

3. It’s too hard to accept that he betrayed you.\u00a0<\/strong>Hating and shaming the other woman is much easier than admitting that your man is\u00a0treating you<\/em> like dirt. And that he chose to hurt you that way. He’s OK with getting his needs met at your expense.<\/p>\n

4. You believe if it wasn’t for her, your husband would not have strayed.<\/strong> It’s hard for you to see that your man\u00a0would have found another woman to cheat with, if it wasn’t\u00a0her. If it wasn’t specifically an incident about her, than you’re left worrying about every other female your cheating spouse is near.<\/p>\n

5. You’re certain you’d NEVER fall for a married man. <\/strong>Confident in your own personal values and integrity, you’re certain she has none of her own.\u00a0You think any woman who falls for a married man (whether she knew he was married\u00a0or not) is an evil being, out to destroy lives.<\/p>\n

6. You don’t want to face your own flaws.<\/strong> It’s hard to admit that you made the wrong decision to trust your spouse. After\u00a0all, you love him and want him in your life, so it’s hard to\u00a0see him as the villain.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0You believe that once she’s gone, you’ll return to\u00a0living\u00a0happily ever after.<\/strong>\u00a0This is a common\u00a0form of denial. You’re not emotionally ready to let go of your cheating husband or the notion that your marriage is safe and happy.<\/p>\n

8. If feels safer<\/em> to hurl your anger\u00a0and blame at her. <\/strong>This is especially true if your husband is controlling or violent. You’re afraid to confront him and believe that confronting her is a less volatile option.<\/p>\n

While the other woman is responsible for her actions, she is not responsible for your husbands.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In order for you heal, it is important for you to hold him<\/em> accountable for his actions. He is the one that made vows to you. He made a choice to break those vows. If a man is going to cheat, he can always find someone willing to play with him. He had his reasons for cheating. The other woman did not force him to do anything he didn’t want to.<\/p>\n

You will probably never be friends with the other woman. But, you’ll never know the whole truth about what happened and why. She has her story, you have yours, and the cheater has his. She is not responsible for your feelings\u00a0\u2014\u00a0you are. Deal with your emotions, and decide how you want to proceed in your life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source: Yourtango.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You confess to your BFF that your husband cheated on you. She may console you for the first few minutes, but\u00a0quickly the both of you redirect\u00a0all of your focus on the\u00a0other woman. Who is she? What does she look like? Who does she think she is?\u00a0You laugh and rage as you call the other woman […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":139198,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[38,51],"yoast_head":"\n8 reasons you HATE 'the other woman' more than your cheating husband - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. 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