No matter how long you\u2019ve been married or how well you know each other, there are at least a handful of specific things guys commonly keep super-close to the vest. It\u2019s not that he\u2019s stewing in his own closet of skeletons (let\u2019s hope, at least), but your guy might need a little help expressing himself when it comes to insecurities, emotions or needs. We asked a couple therapists to give us a peek into his brain\u2014what he\u2019s thinking, what he\u2019s saying and what he isn\u2019t saying\u2014but definitely should be, too.<\/p>\n
He has body insecurities.<\/b>
\nYou might be able to slink into your sexiest dress after a week of SoulCycle classes and ask him how you look, but your husband is probably not going to sniff around for a compliment. Still, he needs to know you still think he\u2019s attractive, too. \u201cMen feel the pressure to put out an energy that they are confident and secure, but most of them really need to know that you still desire them,\u201d says LA-based couples therapist Ellen Bradley-Windell, LCSW. \u201cVerbalize to your husband, \u2018I am really attracted to you!’\u201d says Windell. \u201cAnd tell him why you feel so lucky to be married to him. Although they may play it off as unimportant, they really are grasping on to every word you\u2019re saying.\u201d<\/p>\n
He doesn’t know how to fully open up.<\/b>
\n\u201cBy nature, men are less emotional than women,\u201d says Detroit-based clinical therapist Tomanika Witherspoon, LMSW. \u201cI often have to probe the men more than the women to expand on their concerns.\u201d And it\u2019s not because they don\u2019t have emotions or concerns, but because men have likely been taught to work through these things independently\u2014or bury them\u2014from early childhood.<\/p>\n
So, don\u2019t be surprised if he has have tough time telling you that he\u2019s hurt after an argument, frustrated when you\u2019ve worked late every night for two weeks or that he wishes you\u2019d take his financial concerns more seriously. \u201cThis can ultimately become destructive as the husband, who may feel neglected and have feelings of resentment because his needs are not being met because he\u2019s not identifying concerns,\u201d says Witherspoon.<\/p>\n
What to do? \u201cA wife can only continue encouraging and be patient,\u201d she adds. Communicate your emotions clearly, and wait for him to access his. Go the extra mile to see his side, and he\u2019ll reciprocate.<\/p>\n
He’s ultra-dependent on you.<\/b>
\nMost guys can easily wear the provider and protector hat, but very few will readily fess up to needing someone else\u2019s constant support\u2014even if it\u2019s from their own wives. \u201cMen have buddies at the gym or in the workplace, but it is very uncommon for them to have a true, loving friend who unconditionally understands their heart or emotions,\u201d Windell says. \u201cThey really desire the idea of be able to lean on their wives for that support, but don\u2019t want to appear weak.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, don\u2019t forget to be his lover, wife and bestie. Ask him what\u2019s going on at the office, or plan a date night just to talk about stuff. If he seems stressed, tell him you\u2019re there to listen\u2014even if he says nothing is wrong at first. And when he shares, absorb what he\u2019s saying\u2014and don\u2019t be afraid to respond. He wants your opinion. \u201cTell him will promise to let him know if there is something you don\u2019t understand,\u201d she adds. \u201cYour honest and positive feedback is the most important part of being his best friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
He’s more into cuddling than he lets on.<\/b>
\nSometimes, he might not be in the mood for sex, but that doesn\u2019t mean he doesn\u2019t want to get close and be intimate with you. \u201cJust as much as wives crave the emotional intimacy associated with cuddling, men enjoy these little moments, too. Don\u2019t let them fool you,\u201d says Windell. Try taking that initiative more often\u2014grab his hand, touch his shoulder or get closer in bed. (We\u2019re partial to spooning.) Sometimes, of course, sex is on the brain, but other times a simple hand on his arm is the only reassuring touch he really needs.<\/p>\n
–<\/p>\n
Source: Foxnews.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
No matter how long you\u2019ve been married or how well you know each other, there are at least a handful of specific things guys commonly keep super-close to the vest. It\u2019s not that he\u2019s stewing in his own closet of skeletons (let\u2019s hope, at least), but your guy might need a little help expressing himself […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":2410,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\n