{"id":115486,"date":"2015-05-12T08:15:46","date_gmt":"2015-05-12T08:15:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=115486"},"modified":"2015-05-12T08:15:46","modified_gmt":"2015-05-12T08:15:46","slug":"your-man-pulling-away-heres-how-to-reel-him-back-godess-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/2015\/05\/your-man-pulling-away-heres-how-to-reel-him-back-godess-style\/","title":{"rendered":"Your man pulling away? Here’s how to reel him back, godess style"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Drowning in a man’s hot-cold treatment of you? Turn his space into a new opportunity for love!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Sometimes men drive us crazy.\u00a0 Let’s face it, they aren’t the most empathetic creatures.\u00a0 Guys have been known to stare at women like we’re crazy, even during really painful moments in our lives.\u00a0 We talk about feelings and their eyes glaze over.<\/p>\n

They keep us in a state of panic, not knowing how to emotionally get closer to them– especially when we know in our gut that they’re pulling further and further away from us.\u00a0 That’s the worst– when men pull back and ask for space!<\/p>\n

“I need a break from us.”\u00a0 Give ME a break!\u00a0 It’s so awful.\u00a0 Don’t they know what space does to us?<\/em>\u00a0 When men pull back, they think they\u2019re being kind and considerate by disengaging for a bit instead of telling us the harsh things they really feel.<\/p>\n

But don’t they understand how excruciating the anticipation is when they put us ‘on hold’?\u00a0 Don’t they realize that the loudest part of a lightening storm is the silence between the echoes of thunder?<\/p>\n

When men pull back, they think that, for whatever reason, it’s okay to go MIA and not even explain why.\u00a0 Some men completely end relationships with nothing but silence, as if they just decide, out of the blue, to pull down the curtain and turn on the lights for you to leave the theater and go home.<\/p>\n

You’re stuck going: “Wait, what happened?\u00a0 I was just getting emotionally invested in this! I need some relationship advice!”<\/p>\n

Why do so many men disappear on us?\u00a0 Why do they think it’s perfectly acceptable to just take space without much justification?<\/p>\n

And what’s going on in their brains when men pull back?\u00a0 What are they REALLY thinking about and do they even care how much we are suffering, waiting for them?<\/p>\n

Men Tell The Truth Without Saying Anything At All<\/strong><\/p>\n

I hate encouraging women to analyze male behavior.\u00a0 It goes against what I teach them, which is to forget what a man’s doing and focus on yourself.<\/p>\n

Some times, however, it’s important to talk about male behavior so you understand that the way he acts isn’t to be taken personal; it’s just his way of being a man!<\/p>\n

Here’s the unfortunate thing about men and women in relationships:\u00a0 Men sometimes lie to us and they sometimes tell us the god-honest truth.\u00a0 We tend to believe them when they’re lying and totally ignore them when they’re telling us the truth.<\/p>\n

Has a man ever said loving things to you too soon in the relationship?\u00a0 Maybe you were so excited to hear his professions and promises that you ignored the voice in the back of your mind yelling, “He barely knows me!”<\/p>\n

Has a man ever told you how fantastic you were and how much he appreciated you, but still refused to take your friends with benefits arrangement any further?<\/p>\n

Sometimes men lie.<\/em>\u00a0 They don’t mean to and they don’t want to.\u00a0 They just do.\u00a0 They prop us up on hopes, only to tear us down with reality when they don’t follow through.<\/p>\n

But the truth is that men do believe what they say.\u00a0 He does think you are wonderful and does believe his promises to you.\u00a0 But these truths always come with a \u2018but\u2019:\u00a0 “You’re fantastic BUT not fantastic enough to by my wife”; “I care so deeply about you BUT I don’t love you”; “You are exactly what I’ve been looking for my whole life BUT that’s probably not how I’ll feel in an hour.”\u00a0 It’s just that most times they forget to add the \u2018but\u2019 part!<\/p>\n

Sometimes there is no \u2018but\u2019 part and they\u2019re telling us the total truth.\u00a0<\/em> They\u2019re saying things exactly as they are.\u00a0 The problem is that these things can be too hurtful for us to want to hear. \u00a0Men tell us they are afraid they will hurt us.\u00a0 They tell us they adore us but aren’t in love with us.<\/p>\n

They tell us they aren’t capable of being in a long-term, exclusive relationship.\u00a0 They tell us they think women are controlling and selfish and don’t know how to stop feeling that way. \u00a0And yet we bypass these statements.\u00a0 The words go in one ear and out the other.\u00a0 Or we remember them but refuse to believe them:\u00a0 “He’s just wounded”; “He’s lying to protect himself.”<\/p>\n

And some men are lying to protect themselves.\u00a0 That’s where things get sooo confusing!\u00a0 How are you supposed to know the real truth?\u00a0 How are you supposed to act when men pull back?<\/p>\n

Men Send Women Signals So They Don’t Have To Say Something Uncomfortable!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Since it’s truly impossible to know whether a man is lying or telling the truth, it’s probably best to focus on his behavior.\u00a0 Men MESSAGE women all the time.\u00a0 This is a new term I use because it’s the perfect way to describe what guys do.<\/p>\n

Messaging is a man\u2019s way of letting you know something’s up without him having to point to the sky. \u00a0It\u00a0can be maddening for women, not only because it isn’t direct communication, which we love, but because it’s hurtful and seems arrogant.<\/p>\n

But MESSAGING is usually unavoidable.\u00a0 Men think their actions are more telling than what they say.\u00a0 It’s not that they don’t give weight to what they say, it’s that they give too much weight to what we say.<\/p>\n

Women talk a lot and it takes us time to get to the heart of what we mean; men feel like they have to listen to everything that comes out of our mouths and they get overwhelmed.<\/p>\n

To their credit, we usually do want them to hear every word that comes out of our mouths.\u00a0 It\u2019s important to us that we have their attention and compassion as we speak.\u00a0\u00a0 But all that listening provokes anxiety in them.<\/p>\n

They don’t want to say the wrong thing or lose focus during our long speeches.\u00a0 They take pride in doing right by us and want to take care of us.\u00a0 It all becomes too much for them to hear us and talk with us.<\/p>\n

So they say what they think we want to hear in order to not to hurt us. Or they cut to the jugular and tell us the raw truth because they don’t want to power-it-out with a marathon chat.<\/p>\n

Then they go off and do what they really what (messaging us what they really feel) and we’re left to fit all the pieces together and find the hidden facts in their innuendos.<\/p>\n

Use My Goddess Tip #5 Live Confidence To Survive Messaging!<\/strong><\/p>\n

When men pull back, a confident woman does one thing that an insecure woman doesn’t\u2014 A confident woman takes NOTHING a man says personally, especially when men ask for space.<\/p>\n

You’re probably thinking– “Not take him personally?!\u00a0 It’s about me.\u00a0 It’s about us.\u00a0 It’s about his feelings for me.\u00a0 How can I not take it personally?”\u00a0\u00a0 But here’s the truth about men:\u00a0 A man treats one woman the same way he treats every other woman.<\/p>\n

I know that sounds impossible and completely wrong but it’s true.\u00a0 A man can like a woman, he can even be in love with her, but at some point in the relationship he’s going to relax enough to expose his true self to her.<\/p>\n

When men pull back and take space every time you get closer\u00a0\u2014\u00a0they’re space takers.\u00a0 If a man gets angry and yells a lot of hurtful things when you fight\u00a0\u2014\u00a0he’s screamer and a blamer.\u00a0 If he treats you like the thing that ate his\u00a0life\u00a0and sulks around his house all day in his bathrobe\u00a0\u2014\u00a0he’s a moody victim.<\/p>\n

It’s just who he is and eventually you’re going to be treated like he treated all the rest of the gals who came before you, regardless of how much he\u00a0loved them or didn’t love them.<\/p>\n

A goddess \u2018lives confidence\u2019 (One of my five Goddess Tips that I talk about in my Goddess Newsletter).\u00a0 She may not feel authentically confident but she is smart enough to witness her emotions as they are pop up, recognizing when her insecurities are causing her to take a man’s behavior personal.\u00a0 S<\/p>\n

he knows when to feel whatever painful stuff comes up inside her and then does exactly what a confident woman would do\u00a0\u2014\u00a0not let his behavior define her\u00a0self-worth!<\/p>\n

When men pull back, that\u2019s their problem.<\/em>\u00a0 If your man wants to run away and deal with his feelings on his own, deciding in his man cave whether or not you’re the one for him, then that’s what he’s going to do. It’s probably what he’s been doing with women from the beginning of his dating life.<\/p>\n

He’s following his patterns and you aren’t omnipotent to change those patterns.\u00a0 You’re human; you make mistakes. \u00a0You have fears and flaws just like every other woman.\u00a0 If he doesn’t want to talk things through or doesn’t recognize your true worth, then \u2018oh well!’<\/p>\n

\u2018Oh well\u2019 is easier said than done.\u00a0 I understand that.\u00a0 But I’m not asking you to pretend like you don’t care or force yourself not to think about him.\u00a0 I’m telling you to care as much as you want, feel everything!\u00a0 Just do nothing!<\/p>\n

Goddesses DO NOTHING, Even When They Want To Do EVERYTHING!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

When men pull back, goddesses don’t chase them; they don’t try to figure men out; they don’t play chess with men.\u00a0 They refuse to expend their precious energy in that way!\u00a0 Goddesses DO feel their feelings; they do take care of themselves.\u00a0 They do communicate how they feel.\u00a0 And they do enforce personal boundaries by telling men want they want and don’t want to feel in a relationship.<\/p>\n

For you, right at this moment in your relationship, when your man has messaged you something’s wrong by taking space, I want you to do these things:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Feel your feelings
\n\u2022 Pamper yourself as if you\u2019re a goddess
\n\u2022 Wait for him to reach out to you
\n\u2022 Tell him how you feel and what you don\u2019t want to feel in a relationship: “I feel sad and lonely, even though I also feel happy to hear from you. \u2026\u00a0 I don’t want to feel sad and lonely in a dating relationship.”
\n\u2022 Don\u2019t say anything else and wait for him to dig himself out of a hole
\nOr…
\n\u2022 Wait further for him to become accountable to you, repeating these steps over and over until he does!<\/p>\n

Sounds easy enough?\u00a0 It is!\u00a0 It’s going to be hard emotionally but that’s okay, because what’s happening is that you are retraining yourself not to fall to pieces with him.\u00a0 You’re also retraining him to be a gentleman and a good partner.<\/p>\n

It’s like with dogs or children– you stick to your guns and you politely, patiently repeat, repeat, repeat the boundaries until they respect them. \u00a0He gets it or he gets lost.\u00a0 Period.\u00a0 If you truly start to follow this theory, he’ll feel how serious you are about being respected, and if he’s at all serious about you, he’ll get aboard the good boy train very fast.\u00a0 He’ll know that if he doesn’t, he’ll be left at the station!<\/p>\n

When Men Pull Back, Dazzle Them!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I always want a goddess to be herself with men.\u00a0 I never want you to think I’m asking you to be someone other than who you are.\u00a0 I AM asking you to be the best version of yourself.\u00a0 I want you to shine!<\/p>\n

Women are so afraid to shine.\u00a0 We’re afraid to step into our power and be queens who sparkle with fire and glitter, who glow with guts and glory!\u00a0 We’re scared to death to stand out and then be criticized for wanting too much, for being too great, for thinking too highly of ourselves!<\/p>\n

But you can’t control how people treat you or what they think of you.\u00a0 You CAN allow yourself to get more and more comfortable being powerful, gorgeous and magnificent!<\/p>\n

How can you shine, sparkle and glow?\u00a0 How can you radiate romance and magic?<\/p>\n

Take the time to give yourself attention, love and praise the way you are dying to give it to your man.\u00a0 The love you want from him is already inside you right now!\u00a0 Think about it\u00a0\u2014\u00a0a man doesn’t actually implant love in you, he just\u00a0taps you into the love you already have!<\/p>\n

Write down five things that make you feel happy, that give you a BUZZ for life.\u00a0 Close your eyes and think about each of those things; fantasize about them until you feel yourself physically relaxing and mentally lifting.<\/p>\n

Do this often.\u00a0 Take the time to indulge your senses too! (My Goddess Tip #3: Be Sensual).\u00a0 It’s one thing to radiate happiness; it’s another to radiate happiness and sensuality.
\nThat’s when you sparkle with romance and magic!<\/p>\n

Getting Closer To Him Is Also About Sharing Your Vulnerability (My Goddess Tip #1: Be Vulnerable)<\/strong><\/p>\n

When men pull back, nothing I just wrote means anything if you don\u2019t know how to use your feelings to enchant your man.\u00a0 If you can’t be an Emotion Master then he\u2019ll take space all over again.\u00a0 He’ll get bored, drift away and label you crazy or needy.<\/p>\n

Sharing your vulnerability when men pull back, without coming across like a \u2018wet blanket\u2019 victim, is a very tricky thing to do.\u00a0 If you do it right, you\u2019ll hook him for life; if you don\u2019t, you’ll push him away forever.\u00a0 And I share the secret to how to do this in The Prism Effect!<\/p>\n

–<\/p>\n

Source: YourTango.com<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Drowning in a man’s hot-cold treatment of you? Turn his space into a new opportunity for love! Sometimes men drive us crazy.\u00a0 Let’s face it, they aren’t the most empathetic creatures.\u00a0 Guys have been known to stare at women like we’re crazy, even during really painful moments in our lives.\u00a0 We talk about feelings and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":115494,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[51],"yoast_head":"\nYour man pulling away? Here's how to reel him back, godess style - Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. 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