We already know that love is, as they say, “a many splendid thing,” but do you really know what’s going on in your body when you fall in love? It’s like utter madness.

You’re sick to your stomach but in a good way thanks to butterflies! Your libido is out of control; you literally can’t get enough of that person, and obsession and infatuation are just part of the game.

But now, a new study of the brains of people in love has found that there are five stages every relationship goes through when they fall for someone. Let’s cover them now, shall we?

Butterflies

Definitely the best parts of first falling in love are the butterflies and infatuation. In some cases, infatuation can be a bad thing, but when you’re both in it to win it, it’s wonderful. You can’t sleep, you can’t concentrate, and the most important thing in the world is getting to see that person again.

The study found that 56 percent of people in the butterfly stage also noted an obvious increase in their sex drive, meaning pretty much that all you want to do is bang your new love until the break of dawn.

Building

This is when things calm down in your body a bit. According to the study, neurochemicals are released that turn up the volume in your heart rate and pleasure zones. In fact, the scientists say these feelings are on par with Class A drugs. You experience something called a “happy anxiety,” and finding a way to sleep is still difficult. The honeymoon phase may be over, but things have yet to totally cool off.

Assimilation

Naturally, you will have to get to a point where you sort of second-guess what’s going on. During the assimilation stage, you start wondering if things are “right.” You start asking yourself if this is what you want, can you see yourself with the person for the long haul, and is it more serious than you expected? It’s not about self-doubt as much as it’s about trying to figure out what’s right for you and your future.

Honesty

According to the study, “This stage deals with the concept behind how we all put on our best faces, through social media we edit our lives as well as our pictures to make it appear as though everything is fine,” but it’s time to get real about the stages every relationship goes through. It may seem like you’re taking a risk in showing your true self, so usually in this stage stress levels start to climb.

The study found that 15 percent of people experience “feelings of doubt and increased vulnerability,” when it came to being honest about who they really are and all those weird quirks that we all have. It’s not easy to expose both the best and worst of you, but it’s a necessary step in making a relationship work.

Stability

After the ups and downs, and questions about your future, the stability stage is where everything falls into place and you feel safe. Vasopressin, the same hormone released when you orgasm, is circulating around your body and creates strong feelings of attachment and bonding.

Couples are very happy at this stage, even if the initial intensity has worn off. It’s these feelings that really make for a long-lasting relationship. It’s actually the best stage of all and if you’re lucky, you still have the butterflies, too.

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Source: Your Tango

The post The 5 stages every relationship goes through, according to science appeared first on Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always.

But then, suddenly, he becomes distant and withdrawn — which threatens the very foundation of your relationship. And next, you’re terrified of losing him and wondering why it suddenly seems like he might leave you completely.

If your man has pulled back from your relationship or asked for space, I know firsthand how heart-wrenching it can be. However, all hope is not lost, and it’s not always your fault if a man pulls away when things are going well.

Here are 8 possible reasons why he pulls away when falling in love with you:

1. He’s afraid of losing his freedom.

As fun as it is to have someone to spend forever with, being with you might involve some lost opportunity costs that he’s not ready to give up yet.

Usually, this fear is totally subconscious, but it comes along with a more intense relationship. When a man feels as though your relationship might be “forever”, he can get spooked and start thinking about all of the things he will give up if he commits to you.

As long as you don’t act like you’re trying to take away things that he enjoys, you can usually ride this one out.

2. He’s simply not the marrying kind.

If he says he doesn’t want to get married, for goodness sake, BELIEVE HIM. Trying to get a man to marry you who doesn’t want to get married is a lesson in futility.

If you really want to get married, you owe it to yourself to move on instead of trying to drag him, kicking and screaming toward the altar.

Trying to continue a relationship with someone who sees their life path so differently will only drive a wedge between you. Don’t hang on while trying to convince him that you’re the one for him. You’re not the one for him, no matter how shiny, happy, hopeful, and exciting your relationship is right now.

3. You have incompatible life goals and/or beliefs.

People are most often willing to compromise on the little things. However, if you clash on big things like where you want to live, whether or not you want children and how many, religion, and what kind of lifestyle you want to live together, these differences may be impossible to overcome.

He might be perfectly happy with short-term dating under these circumstances but feel reluctant to completely merge your lives together.

If you know there are underlying serious problems with compatibility in your relationship, you owe it to yourself to stop trying to tell yourself that something will change, someone will bend, or it will all work out. Don’t gloss over these big things because they do not go away after you tie the knot.

If anything, the resentment of compromise from either of you can poison your bond over time.

4. He doesn’t feel settled or happy with his career or future.

Men worry about their careers and purpose a great deal. They tend to be one track minded about them. If he’s having trouble at work or struggling to find his purpose, he might pull away from your relationship to deal with it.

One of the biggest mistakes women make with men is pushing for more of a man’s time and attention when he is having work issues. Men tend to use their career success as an underpinning for confidence in other areas of their lives.

Success starts with work and purpose and moves outward. If he doesn’t feel confident at work, this will bleed into your relationship.

That’s why it’s so crucial for a man to feel successful before he deals with you. Beware the man who is struggling with his work and purpose. If your man already feels like he’s failing at work, adding relationship pressure can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Pressuring him for more attention will most likely cause him to pull away from you or remove himself from your relationship completely while he tries to get his life together.

5. You’ve been worrying too much about how things are getting serious.

If you eventually want to get married, he most likely knows that you’re interested in a commitment. He might not be ready for that just yet.

Sitting back and enjoying the ride can be a difficult thing if you’re concerned with combining a family and/or having children. Usually, women think about a relationship’s future much more often than a man does. The guy will be there enjoying the afternoon with a woman and she’ll secretly be fantasizing about wedding china patterns.

Even if you have never told him about it, he might feel pressure from you anyway. The best way to deal with this is to choose a man who eventually wants to get married in the first place, then not pressure him for anything. He will stop backing away when he stops feeling pressured about doing more.

6. He simply needs a break from all of the intense emotions.

Falling in love is amazing. However, men don’t really live in their emotional world as often as women do. They tend to dip in and out, experiencing intense emotion and then pulling back. That’s why after a really intense weekend or set of dates, a guy will suddenly withdraw.

It isn’t because he doesn’t love you, it’s because he has to focus on other things for awhile to get back to emotional center.

7. There’s family tension.

When you get married, you’re not just marrying him, you’re marrying his family.

The prospect of combining your tribes becomes even more daunting if there is trouble between you and his family or he doesn’t get along with your people.

Sometimes men will drag their heels on furthering their relationship with a woman who just doesn’t fit into the family picture, even though he may love you.

8. You’re not the one for him long-term.

When you’re falling in love with a man, nothing stings more than the possibility that he just might not feel the same way about you.

Remember, this doesn’t ever, EVER mean there is anything wrong with you. It simply means that while you’re dating, 99 percent of relationshipsjust aren’t built to go the distance.

He might be content keeping your bond casual. If you don’t want a casual relationship, it’s up to you to speak up. Otherwise, he’ll think that you’re happy with what you’re currently doing. He’s not a mind reader.

What To Do When He Pulls Away From You

When a guy pulls away, it tends to thrust us straight into panic mode. It’s really hard to avoid becoming reactive and trying to DO THINGS to make him go back to the way things were before he became distant.

The problem is, as much as you might want to jar him back to reality, you can’t logically convince a man to be attracted to you and the relationship.

That’s why the answer is to lovingly give him time and space.

In the short term, you might be able to nag him into giving you more of his time, but that is a short-term victory since if he’s pulling away, chasing him will make him run faster and further away from you.

The only solution that works long-term is to let him work out his issues and simply tend to your own life and hobbies while he figures things out.

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Source: Yourtango.com

The post Eight reasons men pull away when falling in love appeared first on Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always.

Thankfully the Bad Girl’s Bible has got your back: I’m going to show you how to find out if he loves you as well as techniques you can use to make him fall in love with you even more.

First, how can you tell your guy is maybe, just possibly falling for you? Here are some signs:

1. He’s super awkward or nervous around you.

Sometimes guys are just terrible at dealing with their emotions. They simply don’t know how to be chill around girls they like.

So instead of being helpful, fun and trying to win you over, he may act completely the opposite. He may get super quiet around you, not engage you like he engages all his other friends and generally clam up and get awkward around you.

Maybe there’s been a guy you really adored and you clamed up and got awkward when you were around him? It’s almost like your love for him can strangle your ability to act normal. Acting like he adores you or acting very nervous around you are the two big behavior signs you should look out for when asking yourself does he love me.

2. He treats you great.

This is the big obvious one that you shouldn’t miss. If your man is doing things that make it clear he loves you like constantly staring at you, trying to make you laugh, doing really nice things for you or helping you with things all the time then there is a large chance that he’s also in love with you.

Note: Now if the guy is like this with everyone he meets and knows, then you can take it that he may not be in love with you. But if he clearly treats you differently to his other girl friends, then it’s a strong sign he likes you

3. He goes out of his way for you and only you.

A massive sign that he loves you is when he goes out of his way to do something for you, but he doesn’t do the same for other friends/co-workers/buddies.

Often guys can be complete jerks and totally inconsiderate to your feelings. So if you notice a guy who is normally a jerk to everyone treat you like a total princess, then it’s a pretty big sign he likes you and possibly is even in love with you.

Often you may be crazy about a guy and be hoping he feels the same way about you. This can often make your mind play tricks on you trying to make you believe that he feels the same way about you.

Sometimes women can look for the tiniest reasons and try to turn them into big, massive indicators in their heads that a guy is in love with them. Have you ever found yourself doing this? Here’s a few examples of what I’m talking about:

That guy you’re crazy about said hello this morning: It’s certainly nice, but it definitely doesn’t mean he’s in love with you.

He liked one of your Facebook posts: Again, it’s nice, but it’s such a small act that it certainly isn’t a sign that he’s crazy in love with you.

He touched you that one time you were talking to him: This guy may happen to be super touchy-feely or maybe he’s not. But touching you just once or twice while talking isn’t a big sign you should watch for when figuring out does he love me.

As you can see from these examples, just one of these things occurring should not be cause for celebration, they unfortunately aren’t signs that he loves you. However, if you find more than one of them happening every single day, then there is a much higher chance that he’s into you.

So, how can you get get him to fall for you?

I want to be really honest here. It’s a tough thing to do. I hate these articles that say, you can magically make any guy fall in love with these simple three steps. The reality is that it’s much more complicated than “3 magic steps” to making a guy fall in love.

Some guys just aren’t ready. Some guys have been crushed by a girl previously and are now bitter towards the idea of love. And some guys just want nothing but sex.

Related: If He Doesn’t Have These 20 Qualities, He’s NOT Your Soulmate

The most important thing to do is to figure out if he is ready to fall in love. If he isn’t at that stage in his life where he is ready to fall in love, then it will be similar to attempting to make a rock fall in love with you: impossible.

But if you’re lucky and do find a guy who’s ready, then it’s a simple case of spending time together, making sure you both have shared interests and making sure that you feel a mutual attraction for each other.

But that’s not all; you also need to keep him on his toes and keep a healthy sexual tension between you both in order to keep it fun and exciting for both of you.

Check out this tutorial video presentation I put together that will teach you how to build sexual tension and turn him on using dirty talk. It’s a little out there, but super effective. Enjoy!

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Source: Your Tango

The post 3 Undeniable signs he’s totally falling in love with you appeared first on Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always.