Meanwhile, many years before Odieasem ascended the throne, there was born a man known as Saul. This Saul later attended the institute of high learning in Rome and was introduced to Plato, Aristotle, Descartes, Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Marx and Socrates. He also learnt the ways of Sulla, Julius Caesar and Marcus Aurelius. Right from the high tower, he took a garment of pure Scottish fabric and, with letters from the bearded philosophers of the land, set off to uphold the virtues of the Universe.

One day, on his way to Okponglomascus, suddenly a voice sounded around him and a light flashed.

The voice called out: “Go ye towards the road to Fanoafa and ye shall be told what to do.”

In Fanoafa lived a disciple of the Brand, a Sammenitan called Hatta. The word came to him: “Go out on the Fanoafa road and ye shall find a young man in Scottish garb, who ye shall take onto thy fold; for he is my chosen instrument to build and sustain the Brand.”

Picking up his rod, the Hatta the Sammeritan went forth by the Way of Avenor and took the long road towards Okponglomascus where he met Saul. Then Hatta, the man of Sammenria, held the hands of Saul and blessed him, saying, “Brother Saul, ye have been found worthy of the Brand and selected by the Voice; the Voice that spoke to you on the Okponglomascus road has directed me to you, so you might be imbued with dumornic fervour to serve the Brand and build it and sustain it, as a standard to all who shall come after thee.”

Immediately, Saul started speaking in slangs and praising the Voice, rejoicing that he had been counted worthy of the working for the Brand. When the power of the Voice had descended on him, the Sammeritan blessed him and said, “Henceforth, you shall be called Paul Grace, for upon this foundation I will build the Brand.”

The Voice was with Paul and worked mighty and great deeds through him. And the Brand grew and many were added to their numbers. Among the deeds wrought through Paul and the servants of the Brand included a one-on-one with Junior Jesus, after his second coming and when he had visited the temple to cast lots. This feat was unprecedented and the fame of the Brand soared and soared. The philosophers of the land saw all that Paul had done and were pleased and honoured with a coat of many colours.

In the church at Fanoafa were many teachers and prophets: Rekced who was also called Sonny, Romud from the house of Oheb, Neerod who was one of the mighty women who had served right from the beginning of the church and Paul. As the Brand grew and grew, one day, as the servants of the Brand were meditating on the Way, the Voice spoke and said, “Set apart for me Paul Grace and Hatta the Sammenitan, for they have more work to do in unearthing and nurturing more disciplines to serve in more churches modeled after Fanoafa.”

So it came to pass that after the disciples had fasted and prayed, they sent them forth as apostles of the Voice. The two of them, sent on their way by the Voice, went down via the Appian Way and turned towards the place called The Blood Is A Crowd and over the Bridge towards the Road of Liberation, proclaiming the Way of The Voice wherever they went, doing good and making disciples of all men.

The first church they planted was at the centre of The City, where Paul found and converted a young man known as Elva, who was full of grace and power. Elva was beloved of Paul.

Sometime later, Paul said to Hatta, “Let’s go back and visit the brethren between Fanoafa and here and see how they are faring.” Paul wanted to take Elva with him, but the older apostle from Sammenria wanted to keep Elva at The City. The two apostles had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Elva remained at The City but didn’t lose his relationship with Paul. Paul loved Elva with all his heart. Paul set forth and went through Ganaria and Sankaria, eventually pitching his ministry at Labonicia, from where he continued to speak to the churches, including the church at Manasonia.

And it is at Labonica that Wofa Kapokyikyi met Paul Grace and fell in love with his sermons from the Mount every evening. Wofa wasn’t along: people from far and near would come and drink deep as the Apostle Paul taught and instructed and also brought philosophers to espouse on Plutonian and Aristocratic ideas as well as those for the down-trodden.

With the passage of time, the Brand continued to grow and expand and more where added to their numbers, including a man called Azur, from Manasonia who came wailing and sniffing and looking under the eyes of corpses. In the meantime, there arose in the land a leader of the scribes called Yennom son of Frail. He was learned, both in letters worked for and those acquired.

In the eighth month of the first year of Odekuro Odieasem Nana Tutubrofo Dankwawura, Azur went looking into coffins in the house of Paul of Jos. Some of the coffins had been closed and sealed and locked in the vault. Not only did Azur open these caskets, but he did them in the open, just outside the temple gates. The harmattan winds carried the nunu scent into the corridors of the temple and permeated everywhere.

The ‘shenanigans’ of Azur, with the support of the Brand, didn’t go down well with the retired priests and servants of the temple. And some of the scribes, who began releasing epistles upon epistles cautioning against exorcism. Azur retorted that exorcism wasn’t banned under the Torah.

Things came to a head when the major Scribe, Yennom bar-Frail, released his epistle, directed towards no-one but targeted towards the discerning.

There was uproar in the land, from both Jews and Gentiles and from the Sadducees and Pharisees. Counter epistles were written and posted on the city gates and on the walls of the land. One epistle was jointly written by the Watchmen. One of the signatories was a Nyarkonite, who was a retired opener of caskets.

That is when Paul gave his seminal ecclesiastical paulogue to Azur, reminding him of the tenets of the Brand and admonishing him not to dilute the Way of the Voice, keeping it holy and sacrosanct. The Sermon covered over forty scrolls, according to the scribes whose duty it is to record the annals of the land. The Sermon chronicled the history of the church of the Brand and the canons of the Way. Paul spoke with spiritual vehemence, saying “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.”

And being in anguish, he spoke more earnestly and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

After the Sermon, there was uproar in the land, with the Watchmen saying perhaps the apostle had been affected by his association with the house of Jos. And when the Nyarkonite, who was used as an example of how not to behave in the Way, came to affirm the methods of Azur the Manasonian, the people of the land looked up to the heavens, for a word from the Voice.
In the meantime, the people reached out for their favourite book in such moments: the book of Nahum. Even Wofa Kapokyikyi, who is not usually bereft of words, is reading Nahum.

Hmmm…

As for Yennom bar-Frail, he won’t be forgetting his epistle in a hurry, as we await the casting of lots soon. Will it be the one epistle that determines how he gets to manage the letters after his name, either procured or awarded?

Till I come your way another day with another sebitical, I remain:

Sebitically yours,
Kapokyikyiwofaase
–

By: Nana Awere Damoah (Writer/Author / Technical Services Consultant)
Co-Founder, DAkpabli & Associates (Publishers)

The post Sebiticals: An Ecclesiastical Paulogue to the Manasonians appeared first on Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always.

Me: Akosua, I’m going for a book reading at 5:30pm today oo.

Akosua: You kraa what boring life are you living? You’re dressing up to go sit down and fall asleep?!

If I had listened to my best friend, I most probably would’ve missed out on one of the most exciting, fun-filled things I’d have encountered in my entire lifetime.

Romancing Oseikrom Sebitically: A Book Reading, was a program put together by three renowned writers Nana Awere Damoah, Kofi Akpabli and Alba K. Sumprim. With daily Facebook posts as my countdown I was totally and completely gingered up at 5:30pm as I entered the auditorium. Just before I could get to the door I met Uncle Kofi. My heart skipped ten beats! After the exchange of greetings, he asked if I knew him personally, to which I replied in the negative, telling him that the closest I had ever been to knowing him was via Facebook- now that brought forth a smile and a statement I never expected; Send me a friend request and we’ll take it from there. Kuukua Yawson could’ve fainted! I smiled. I just smiled and replied with a resounding ‘definitely’. All emotions within me could not be brought out yet- the program had not even begun!

Oseikrom’s romance story started on a humorous note, all thanks to our exceptional moderator and a new friend of mine, David Aglah. His mannerisms and jokes set the tone for what promised to be an awesome event.

The book reading was to be done in three major sessions, with interludes in-between. These interludes were for interaction with the audience, giving them the opportunity to give submissions, ask questions and also share experiences which were in relation to book excerpts that had been read.

The first session was really exciting and cannot be easily forgotten. Nana Awere started our journey with the ever famous ‘You know you’re in Ghana when…..’ piece. All examples given were as typical of us as Ghanaians.

• You know you’re in Ghana when journalists, like sign writers, do not use dictionaries.
• You know you’re in Ghana when drivers attempt a U-turn at a T-junction.

Nana’s examples took me back to various instances I’d experienced, but had never really read meaning into, simply because they were occurrences I’d considered a normality in the society. A famous example would be our president being blamed for our frequent power outages (Mahama has taken our light!). He also made me realize how happy we are as a country; no matter the situation, Ghanaians had a way of bringing out its humorous side, all in a bid to keep their sanity.

The wheel was taken over by Kofi Akpabli who engaged us in an emotional talk about fufu. I was transported back home, to all the Sundays I spent watching my parents engage in a game of fufu pounding.

Daddy is sweating as he pounds, with mummy rhythmically swerving the pestle. My brother and I are fighting endlessly about whose turn it is to clean up after the game came to an end. All those worries and fights practically evaporated as soon as the fufu was set before us, with daddy getting his usual- two gigantic mountains (probably because of his hard work and loss of body fluids).

I longed for one Sunday, just one Sunday back at home for one last bowl of soft fufu with thick soup!

Alba! Or should I say Araba Sumprim. She charmed us with her personality, as well as her style of reading. With tales based on our very famous catch phrases ‘Are you sure?’, ‘3ny3 hwee’, Alba left us laughing and clapping until the very last sentence.

The second and last sessions were just as exciting. We discovered a great aspect of Ghanaian culture: Soup, as well as the various methods of its consumption. We took a trip to an all new version of the Olympics, where Ghana was greatly represented and assured a silver medal in one and one sport only- Spitting! We drank a few glasses of Akpeteshie, the drink that surpasses Jack Daniels in sales without any form of advertisement! We even earned a lot of REES-PECT from fellow Rasta men who identified with our new hairstyle.

The book reading ended on a very commendable note: Sobolo! Clara Fianu’s Norte Sobolo is one of the best original sobolo I’ve ever had (an excellent ratio of sugar: sobolo). There was lots of popcorn and books. We had the chance of taking pictures with the writers individually and even as a group (their first ever after a reading).

Now my story begins.

After the reading, all I wanted was a photograph. Not just any photograph, but one with all three writers at the same time. Simple? Not in the least. Let me explain why.

Here I was, looking for the writers after the reading for my number one wish list item. I found Kofi Akpabli, right beside the entrance. I smiled. I began searching for NAD (who was on the other side of the entrance taking photographs) and Alba (who had been captured by more than a dozen other people for book signings), only to look back at the entrance to find that uncle Kofi had disappeared. This went on forever and by that I mean FOREVER!

I waited.

And waited.

It was almost 10pm- still no photograph. By this time the entrance was practically empty, leaving just the organizers and myself. I kept waiting.

NAD: We’re leaving oo! It’s getting late.

I could’ve cried! I still had not taken my photograph! I looked at Kobby Blay (the photographer) and looked at them, my face looking like I could cry any second. Realization struck and he quickly led me to them. Finally!

Nana was shocked; Kofi, not so much because I had made him aware earlier; Alba was….can I say happy?

So at 10 something pm, two legendary photographs were taken- the all serious photograph, and the swag-filled photograph (a splendid bonus!). As if that was not enough, I, Kuukua Tsetsewa Yawson, a simple happy child, had the opportunity to sit in the same vehicle with all the writers! ALL THREE OF THEM! Not just Nana, not just Kofi, not just Alba! The whole squad! Saturday felt like my birthday all over again (minus the cake lol).

Saturday was all in all, an awesome day for Oseikrom and we’re looking forward to more of such events in the years to come. I’d like to say thanks again to NAD, Kofi and Alba for being sebitically all shades of fantastic in their writings, readings and interactions. I’m officially never missing another reading session for anything in the world!

Kukie?.

–

By Maame Akua T. Yawson

The writer, Maame Akua T. Yawson, is a fourth year Architecture student at the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science & Technology and blogs at www.notesofakukieblog.com.

The post Sebitically speaking: A romantic encounter with Oseikrom appeared first on Citi 97.3 FM - Relevant Radio. Always.