{"id":89429,"date":"2015-02-07T21:27:03","date_gmt":"2015-02-07T21:27:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=89429"},"modified":"2015-02-08T08:20:56","modified_gmt":"2015-02-08T08:20:56","slug":"10-reasons-never-date-man-big-penis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=89429","title":{"rendered":"10 reasons to never date a man with a big penis"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pink tractor beam. Tent pole. Purple-headed soldier man.<\/p>\n

Men. You may be under the impression that, when it comes to your penis, bigger is better.<\/p>\n

This is a lie spread by porn, probably because it\u2019s just easier to see bigger ones on screen.<\/p>\n

But in actual fact, as most ladies know, dating someone with an anaconda truly worthy of the name is actually a hindrance.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why.<\/p>\n

1. Normal condoms don\u2019t fit<\/strong><\/p>\n

Which you\u2019d think might make everyone smug.<\/p>\n

In fact, it results in sex being delayed for at least a week while you try to track down a specialist supplier who, naturally, charges triple the price for XXLs.<\/p>\n

2. Vaginas don\u2019t fit<\/strong><\/p>\n

Or rather, it doesn\u2019t fit any vaginas.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a bit like trying to squeeze Optimus Prime into an aeroplane loo.<\/p>\n

Any kind of action is going to require serious forward-planning and very careful manoeuvers if you want to avoid serious damage to one or both parties.<\/p>\n

3. Cystitis<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because nothing says romance like bruising your girlfriend\u2019s urethra so badly she ends up peeing fire.<\/p>\n

4. Anal<\/strong><\/p>\n

5. A very real risk of suffocation<\/strong><\/p>\n

In porn the whole \u2018woman almost choking on man meat\u2019 is probably quite hot.<\/p>\n

In real life no woman wants to go out like that.<\/p>\n

6. Vanilla sex<\/strong><\/p>\n

With a small or average-sized member you can both rut away to your little hearts\u2019 content with you on top, them on top, sitting down, from behind, from the side and so on, in an almost unending series of combinations.<\/p>\n

Larger lads have to content themselves with one ole faithful \u2013 whichever one doesn\u2019t make their lady howl in agony.<\/p>\n

<\/a>\"10
Whoa there, buddy. Your big banana schlong may not be such a cause for celebration (Picture: Getty)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

7. Bleeding<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because, for some men, the term pork sword is unfortunately accurate.<\/p>\n

8. Careful, measured sex<\/strong><\/p>\n

OK, so there\u2019s no downside to the fact several hours of foreplay becomes a necessity rather than a nicety.<\/p>\n

But you\u2019ll never have fast, passionate, \u2018animal\u2019 sex without a lot of pain afterwards.<\/p>\n

9. You will always need lube<\/strong><\/p>\n

Always. Fancy a quickie in the back of your Fiesta in the station car park?<\/p>\n

Yeah. I hope you carry lube around in your handbag.<\/p>\n

10. They\u2019re messy to look at<\/strong><\/p>\n

The whole of classical Greek sculpture shuns your out-of-proportion yogurt slinger.<\/p>\n

–<\/p>\n

Source: Metro UK<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pink tractor beam. Tent pole. Purple-headed soldier man. Men. You may be under the impression that, when it comes to your penis, bigger is better. This is a lie spread by porn, probably because it\u2019s just easier to see bigger ones on screen. But in actual fact, as most ladies know, dating someone with an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-89429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=89429"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89429\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=89429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=89429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=89429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}