{"id":71964,"date":"2014-12-06T16:10:50","date_gmt":"2014-12-06T16:10:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=71964"},"modified":"2014-12-06T16:11:04","modified_gmt":"2014-12-06T16:11:04","slug":"1-thing-need-know-really-want-ex-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=71964","title":{"rendered":"The #1 thing you need to know if you really want your ex back"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So, you and your girlfriend broke up.<\/p>\n<p>Is it possible that she may still be desperate for you to &#8220;win her back&#8221;\u00a0\u2014 even though she swears she&#8217;s done?<\/p>\n<p>Yes, it is.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe she <em>said<\/em> it&#8217;s over. Maybe she <em>said<\/em> she doesn&#8217;t <strong>love<\/strong> you anymore. Or maybe (if she&#8217;s really mad) she <em>said<\/em> she never loved you at all. And now? Now she&#8217;s <strong>dating<\/strong> that other dude.<\/p>\n<p>You might think you&#8217;ve got no chance.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Believe it or not, none of those things have <em>anything<\/em> to do with whether you can get your<strong>girlfriend<\/strong> back.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Because as you&#8217;ll see, there&#8217;s something she desperately wants \u2014 something that only YOU can give her.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s a sneaky little secret about women she&#8217;s been hiding from you, and for good reason: it is the biggest secret to overcoming her resistance and capturing her again. It&#8217;s the secret that makes the difference between getting her back <em>and<\/em> keeping her this time\u2014or letting her slip away forever.<\/p>\n<p>There isn&#8217;t a woman alive who thinks: <em>You know what I want to do? I want to fall in love with a guy and give him my heart, my body, my soul. I want to make memories, inside jokes and plans for the future &#8230; and then, I want my heart to be ripped away from his like a scab covering a bloody scar and have to go through the process all over again.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Right? <em>No one<\/em> thinks that!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>In other words: when you started dating, she wanted it to work out!<\/p>\n<p>And every step she took with you was a step toward the future. Every step she took with you was a bonding experience. Every step made her feel closer to you. Every step was another investment on her part (and yours, too).<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, she got to a point where she &#8220;couldn&#8217;t do it anymore,&#8221; because she didn&#8217;t see a way to make that investment work. She tried to tell you what was wrong, how she felt, and why she was unhappy. Maybe you listened, but she didn&#8217;t <em>feel<\/em> heard or understood.<\/p>\n<p>She felt like she was on a merry-go-round of madness, seeing the same scenery, the same issues over and over again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Women give themselves completely to the men they are with; it&#8217;s one of their best qualities.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And she was working on the relationship like it was her PhD thesis; that&#8217;s how she felt. And when she didn&#8217;t believe you were in the same boat with her, when she felt like she was the only one rowing, she bailed.<\/p>\n<p>She was emotionally drained and saw no way out but to get out.\u00a0And because it&#8217;s so painful for her to face her disappointment, to face the failure of all she hoped for, she tells you these falsehoods:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>&#8220;It&#8217;s over.&#8221;<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>&#8220;I don&#8217;t love you anymore.&#8221;<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>&#8220;I never loved you.&#8221;<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Why does she say those things when they aren&#8217;t true?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is where it gets really interesting: Even though she feels like she worked hard on this relationship, she still (at least partially) blames herself for its failure. It&#8217;s easier for her to tell you it&#8217;s over; think of it as a coping mechanism.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s easier to be mad than to feel hurt, disappointed, or to get her hopes up again. She thinks if she can convince herself she doesn&#8217;t love you, maybe, just maybe, the ache in her heart will stop hurting so much.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And you understand this\u2014intuitively.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And <em>here&#8217;s<\/em> where you come to the rescue. Here&#8217;s where you get her back!<\/p>\n<p>Because the fact is, if there was ANY way she could see things possibly working out with you, she&#8217;d be back in your arms quicker than you can microwave a Hot Pocket.<\/p>\n<p>Why? Because you know her. She feels comfortable with you. <strong>Intimate<\/strong> with you. You know her vulnerabilities. You know the things she&#8217;s embarrassed about, the secrets about her no one else knows.<\/p>\n<p>She doesn&#8217;t want to go through the terrifying process of doing that with someone new. She doesn&#8217;t want the last however-long-you-were-dating to feel like a waste.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Now, this might sting a bit<\/strong>\u2014<strong>you&#8217;re the only one who can heal the hurt because you&#8217;re the one that caused it.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Yeah, she can move on and find someone else, but a part of her soul and a part of her heart will be left behind. And there will be a scar that covers it, making her a little more jaded, a little less open and a little more cynical.<\/p>\n<p>She doesn&#8217;t want that. I would guess that\u00a0<em>you<\/em> don&#8217;t want that.<\/p>\n<p>And it doesn&#8217;t have to end that way.<\/p>\n<p>She just needs you to show her that it can actually work. Once you do, she can drop all her defenses and come running back to you.<\/p>\n<p>By winning her back, you prove to her that you really <em>did<\/em> listen, that you really <em>do<\/em> love her and that you really <em>will<\/em> love her from this point forward.<\/p>\n<p>You must make her feel emotionally safe. Don&#8217;t you want to?<\/p>\n<p>Remember how much she means to you?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Source: YourTango.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, you and your girlfriend broke up. Is it possible that she may still be desperate for you to &#8220;win her back&#8221;\u00a0\u2014 even though she swears she&#8217;s done? Yes, it is. Maybe she said it&#8217;s over. Maybe she said she doesn&#8217;t love you anymore. Or maybe (if she&#8217;s really mad) she said she never loved [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":21382,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[38,51],"class_list":["post-71964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-palaver-newspaper","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=71964"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71964\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21382"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=71964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=71964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=71964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}