{"id":64758,"date":"2014-11-13T12:17:29","date_gmt":"2014-11-13T12:17:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=64758"},"modified":"2014-11-13T12:17:29","modified_gmt":"2014-11-13T12:17:29","slug":"3-steps-stop-man-withdrawing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=64758","title":{"rendered":"3 Steps to stop a man from withdrawing"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When a man becomes distant, sometimes the way a woman communicates her feelings to him makes him want to withdraw even more. \u00a0But if you know these three steps, you can turn this into an opportunity to connect with him and make him want to come even closer to you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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It\u2019s finally happening: you met a man you\u2019re compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual. \u00a0He\u2019s showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he\u2019s so happy to have found you.<\/p>\n

Then something happens. \u00a0Out of the blue, he pulls back from you. You sense a shift in the way he is with you, and it doesn\u2019t feel good. \u00a0In fact, it\u2019s downright scary.<\/p>\n

As a woman, our first instinct is to try to fix the situation by getting closer to him. \u00a0We\u2019ll ask him what\u2019s wrong, call him, and start worrying. \u00a0But this can actually push a man further away because he\u2019ll feel coerced.<\/p>\n

The real secret to making sure his distance is only temporary is to let go of your efforts to bring him close. This seems counter-intuitive and frightening, since it feels like you might lose him. \u00a0But that\u2019s entirely not the case.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s how to give him the space he needs while handling your own vulnerable feelings so that he\u2019ll naturally want to come close all by himself.<\/p>\n

Stay centred by realising it\u2019s natural for a man to pull back<\/p>\n

Drifting away is completely natural for a man, even if he\u2019s in love with you. \u00a0Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable, so he\u2019ll try to pull back in order to not lose himself.<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll come in and go out \u2013 like a rubber band \u2013 while he works out his feelings and digs deeper to find his ability to go the distance in a real relationship.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, he\u2019s also making sure he \u201cholds on\u201d to his sense of self, his life, and his independence.<\/p>\n

So, the first thing to do when this happens with the man you\u2019re with is to remind yourself that it\u2019s completely normal. \u00a0If he\u2019s the right man for you, these periods will significantly shorten over time, even though he\u2019ll still need his \u201cspace\u201d every once in a while.<\/p>\n

Create tension so he snaps back<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whenever the man we\u2019re with pulls back from us, our first instinct is usually to lean in and close the space.<\/p>\n

This requires effort. \u00a0 And it also usually causes the man to resist our attempts to get closer. \u00a0Why? \u00a0Because by stepping in, we\u2019re removing the incentive for a man to get close. \u00a0He no longer feels it\u2019s his choice \u2013 he feels forced.<\/p>\n

If he starts pulling away, and you move toward him, then you\u2019re just letting the rubber band go slack. \u00a0You\u2019re making it impossible for him to bounce back to you. You\u2019re eliminating the tension he needs in order to come back.<\/p>\n

The answer is to drop any effort on your part to close that space. Resist the temptation to ask him what\u2019s wrong or to step up your efforts in order to get a response from him.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t call him or email him or drop by his place. \u00a0Let him make the choice to come to you. \u00a0When he does, it also makes you feel better. \u00a0It makes you feel desired by him.<\/p>\n

Connect with his heart using messages<\/strong><\/p>\n

When a man does withdraw, it creates all sorts of feelings inside us. \u00a0We feel neglected, uncertain, and angry.<\/p>\n

And when he comes back, it\u2019s easy to feel resentful. \u00a0We want him to know that we felt hurt. \u00a0We don\u2019t want him to think it\u2019s just okay for him to pull away.<\/p>\n

But there is power in your words, and the words you choose can deepen the connection you share so that he is more mindful of your feelings when he does need his space. The trick is to talk to him in a way that expresses your feelings without blaming him.<\/p>\n

So, instead of saying, \u201cWhy haven\u2019t you called?!\u201d try, \u201cI feel so happy to hear from you!\u201d \u00a0Show him that being with you is a fun, positive experience.<\/p>\n

When he sees that you didn\u2019t let your emotions overrun you and senses that you didn\u2019t place such a high importance on his actions, he\u2019ll be motivated to stay close and connected with you.<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll recognise that he\u2019s with a woman who respects his needs while taking care of her own feelings. \u00a0And he\u2019ll appreciate that you didn\u2019t blame or criticise him.<\/p>\n

When you create a positive experience with him, he\u2019ll also gradually realise that being close and connected with you is a valuable part of his life he won\u2019t want to live without.<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll see that being with you does not mean he needs to give up his sense of self or his independence, and the bond you two share will become even stronger.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source: Graphic Showbiz<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When a man becomes distant, sometimes the way a woman communicates her feelings to him makes him want to withdraw even more. \u00a0But if you know these three steps, you can turn this into an opportunity to connect with him and make him want to come even closer to you. It\u2019s finally happening: you met […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":5031,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-64758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=64758"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64758\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5031"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=64758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=64758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=64758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}