It\u2019s typically a good thing to be open about past relationships with a current love; it can be vital to having a healthy and trusting relationship.<\/p>\n
But what if he keeps bringing up a specific ex-girlfriend?<\/p>\n
An occasional mention now and then about an old flame is no cause for alarm, says marriage and family therapist Dr. Sheri Meyers. \u201cHowever, if your boyfriend\u2019s ex is constantly up for discussion, it\u2019s probably a sign that he hasn\u2019t fully moved on.\u201d<\/p>\n
In some way, for some reason, she is still on his mind, adds actor Alan Powell, star of the romantic drama \u201cThe Song.\u201d \u201cEven if he says he can\u2019t stand her or is totally over her, her constant presence in the conversation means there is an even more constant presence in his mind.\u201d<\/p>\n
That said, it’s also important to pay attention to how he talks about her, which can either make a girl feel great about herself (in comparison) or insecure (for the same reason).<\/p>\n
Depending on the context, hearing about an ex can even be helpful, and seen as an indicator of how he will treat you and your relationship.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor instance, knowing that a certain trait ultimately pushed him over the edge would be good to know,\u201d says relationship author and speaker Jenna McCarthy. \u201cBut, if she was so great at this [thing you\u2019re not great at] or amazing at [talent you don\u2019t have] then it will feel insulting.\u201d<\/p>\n
Even worse \u2014 it’s manipulative. If he is constantly comparing her to you, he may be trying to get you to change or be more like her, so you can fill the void she left in his life.<\/p>\n
\u201cContinually condemning and complaining about an ex is a sign he may not be taking personal responsibility for his role, and has the same unhealed wounds and unfinished business that he\u2019s bringing into your relationship,\u201d says Meyers.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s best to nip that talk in the bud ASAP. Ask him how he would feel if you kept talking about your ex-boyfriend, says McCarthy. Or, just ask him if he’s still not over his ex.<\/p>\n
\u201cRemind him that you are worth someone\u2019s undivided attention,” adds Powell. “Make it clear that if he can\u2019t offer you that, it\u2019s probably time you move on.\u201d<\/p>\n
Since not all girls handle the \u201cold flame talk\u201d the same, Powell also has some advice for guys: Just don\u2019t talk about your ex.<\/p>\n
\u201cContinuing to bring [her] up is putting your current girlfriend in a very uncomfortable position, and any guy who tries to be considerate of how his words or actions may affect his girlfriend wouldn\u2019t allow that to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Source: Magazine.foxnews.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s typically a good thing to be open about past relationships with a current love; it can be vital to having a healthy and trusting relationship. But what if he keeps bringing up a specific ex-girlfriend? An occasional mention now and then about an old flame is no cause for alarm, says marriage and family […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":5338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-63679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=63679"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63679\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=63679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=63679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=63679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}