{"id":62820,"date":"2014-11-07T06:52:17","date_gmt":"2014-11-07T06:52:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=62820"},"modified":"2014-11-07T06:57:49","modified_gmt":"2014-11-07T06:57:49","slug":"dating-dilemma-call-text","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=62820","title":{"rendered":"Dating Dilemma: When Should I Call and When Should I Text?"},"content":{"rendered":"

C<\/span>alling all human beings who date: Texting as the go-to means of communication needs to stop! There is definitely a time and place for texting, but I\u2019m sorry, that time is not every moment of every day.<\/p>\n

\u00a0It\u2019s a legitimate question to ask: When should I call and when should I text?<\/div>\n

As a rule, call when you want to hear your date\u2019s voice, when you\u2019re upset, and when you plan on talking for a few minutes or longer. On the other hand, text to say hello, good morning or good night, or to make specific plans that don\u2019t require an actual phone conversation.<\/p>\n

When you first start dating someone, share what your expectations are for calls and texts.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re someone who loves the phone as much as I love my plush living room couch at the end of a long day, connecting on the phone is something you probably need \u2014 and there is nothing wrong with that. At the start of a relationship, don\u2019t be afraid to spell out how \u2014 and how often \u2014 you like to communicate. Do you need to talk on the phone every day, or maybe just a few times per week? Do you like a \u201cgood morning\u201d text? If so, say it and then wait to see if they can meet your needs.<\/p>\n

Texting No-No #1: When One or Both of You Are Upset<\/strong><\/p>\n

Never discuss emotional issues while texting. For your part, never initiate texts to discuss emotional issues or the fact that you\u2019re upset about something. I recently had a female client tell me that she was feeling insecure and upset with the new guy she was dating, and she got out her phone and started texting. What ensued? Twenty minutes of back-and-forth texting that got both of them more upset, with no follow-up phone call or resolution. There was awkward, bad energy between the two of them before they started texting, and the texting made the divide between the two of them even worse.<\/p>\n

For your date\u2019s part, he or she shouldn\u2019t be texting about emotional issues either! If he or she sends a text that broaches any type of emotional issue (e.g., Are you mad at me? Why were you acting weird tonight?), do not respond by text. Instead, pick up the phone and call. Say clearly, \u201cI always think it\u2019s better to talk as opposed to sending texts or emails which can confuse things more.\u201d If your date doesn\u2019t pick up or responds with a text that says he or she can\u2019t talk and can only text (e.g., he\u2019s in a meeting), pick up the phone again and leave a message that says to call you later during a particular time frame. For example, say, \u201cCall me anytime between 6 and 10 tonight when you have a chance.\u201d Pressing pause on the texting also helps to remind you that there is no manic rush to solve the problem immediately. Sometimes sitting with your feelings is much better than acting on them.<\/p>\n

Texting No-No #2: When You Want the Intimacy of a Real Conversation<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes, a text is going to provide enough emotional connection for you; other times, you are going to want more: a real, live voice on the other end that actually has a beating heart inside. It\u2019s important when reaching out to anyone you\u2019re dating that you ask yourself what you would like most to do: talk or text. If you decide you want to talk, don\u2019t worry about what he or she wants \u2014 just put your need out there and see if he or she is able to meet your need.<\/p>\n

Texting No-No #3: When You Want to Break Plans \u2014 or Break Up<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s get this one out of the way: Sending a text as a breakup message is either cowardly or cold-hearted, and I am sure that you are capable of more sensitive and compassionate behavior. We don\u2019t need to drive this one into the ground \u2014 just don\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n

Breaking plans by texting happens all the time. If you need to break plans but are still interested in the person, call and say, \u201cI wanted to call you because I\u2019m not able to make our plans, but I didn\u2019t want to send a text for fear that you might think I wasn\u2019t interested.\u201d This is the gold standard of dating communication. On the other hand, if you need to break plans because you realize you\u2019re not interested any longer, try this: \u201cI think you deserve the respect of a phone call, but I wanted to say that I need to cancel. I\u2019m really sorry but I don\u2019t feel like we\u2019re a good fit. I wanted to call though to say that I\u2019m glad I met you and really wish you well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Making this type of call is respectful of the other person, even though the content of what you\u2019re saying \u2014 not seeing him or her again \u2014 is upsetting.<\/p>\n

The next time you go to text a date, make sure that you avoid the texting no-nos and summon the energy or courage to call more often than you text. The best relationships are going to have a foundation of good, clear communication \u2014 and telephone calls lead to a much better relationship than texting!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source: Magazine.foxnews.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Calling all human beings who date: Texting as the go-to means of communication needs to stop! There is definitely a time and place for texting, but I\u2019m sorry, that time is not every moment of every day. \u00a0It\u2019s a legitimate question to ask: When should I call and when should I text? As a rule, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":56153,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-62820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=62820"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62820\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/56153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=62820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=62820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=62820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}