{"id":294607,"date":"2017-02-15T17:00:24","date_gmt":"2017-02-15T17:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=294607"},"modified":"2017-02-15T17:00:24","modified_gmt":"2017-02-15T17:00:24","slug":"10-fascinating-characters-youll-find-in-every-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=294607","title":{"rendered":"10 Fascinating characters you’ll find in every church"},"content":{"rendered":"

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  1. The MBAs (Me ba ha aky\u025b)<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    They have been there since the day the church started as a small fellowship. They always remind you that they saw you when you came as a new member. Though they know everyone’s history in church, they can’t cast out a demon… not even a half demon!<\/p>\n

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    1. The impressionists<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      They use the least opportunity to create an impression especially when there’s a newbie in church who they like. When singing, they’ll do all the body swinging and vocal acrobatics! When dancing… don’t even go there!<\/p>\n

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      1. The fashionistas<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        They’re the fashion police in church. After church, one will ask the other, “Did you see pastor’s bowtie? I think it should have been a bleached beige instead of purple”<\/p>\n

        Sister, is it your purple!?<\/p>\n

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        1. The Grammarians<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          They mark everyone’s subject-verb agreement, pronouns, etc in church; from prayer topics to testimonies! After the sermon, one will say to the other, \u201cI think we need to take Pastor through syntax!\u201d<\/p>\n

          Mr. Syntax. Ayekoo!<\/p>\n

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          1. The desperados<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            They’re the singles who are almost close to ‘pension’ age. Before the pastor ends his prophecy, “This year, I see three people marrying”… twenty of them are already somersaulting on the floor!<\/p>\n

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            1. The gossip Gospel preachers<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              To them, the only sin they know is fornication. They have the sexual statistics of every member and can even use them as prayer topics in church!<\/p>\n

              They\u2019ll raise a prayer topic during intercession, \u201cChurch. Pray. I can see one sister casting her net near a spiritually-bankrupt elder. Pray!\u201d<\/p>\n

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              1. The self-called prophets<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                They alone know which mobile network God called them with. They’ll look into your face, “Hey brother. God showed me something. Your mother is a woman and your father is a man!”<\/p>\n

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                1. The Scripture checkers<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  They always sound like they could preach better. They correct, “That Scripture should have been Luke 12:12a instead of just Luke 12:12. He should have used KJV instead of NKJV.”<\/p>\n

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                  1. The professors<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    They always have novels and textbooks with them in church. They are always in haste to go do one assignment or the other.<\/p>\n

                    Don’t mind them. They’re still writing NovDec!<\/p>\n

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                    1. The copycats<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      They’ll copy everything in church; from the way others walk to even the tongues they speak. Ei!<\/p>\n

                      Don’t you just love church!<\/p>\n

                      –<\/p>\n

                      By: Kobina Ansah<\/p>\n

                      The writer is a playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com), a writing company based in Accra. Get interactive with him on his Facebook page, Kobina Ansah.<\/strong><\/p>\n

                       <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                        The MBAs (Me ba ha aky\u025b) They have been there since the day the church started as a small fellowship. They always remind you that they saw you when you came as a new member. Though they know everyone’s history in church, they can’t cast out a demon… not even a half demon! The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[1565],"tags":[3,3721,1693],"class_list":["post-294607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-ghana-news","tag-men","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294607","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=294607"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294607\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=294607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=294607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=294607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}