Research tells us that the following 6\u00a0characteristics are essential to creating a happy modern marriage that lasts:<\/p>\n
1. Physical Attraction<\/strong><\/p>\n 2. Truly choosing the relationship<\/strong> (rather than saying “I do”\u00a0out of obligation or fear of being alone).<\/p>\n 3. Sharing\u00a0fundamental values, beliefs, interests, and goals.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n 4.<\/strong> The ability to\u00a0express anger clearly and\u00a0directly (<\/strong>thus\u00a0resolving differences throughcommunication and compromise).<\/p>\n 5. Experiencing\u00a0laughter, fun, pleasure\u00a0with each other.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n 6. Genuinely supporting\u00a0each other’s activities, interests, and careers.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n If you break these down into things to look for in a man, it’s\u00a0relatively easy to make your own list (or, a “Man Plan.”)<\/p>\n What does he look like? How emotionally stable is he? Do you really want someone who is the walking wounded or clingy? A good husband needs the strength\u00a0to stand on his own feet and still prop you up when necessary.<\/p>\n The third\u00a0item on the above list\u00a0\u2014\u00a0shared fundamental beliefs\u00a0\u2014 are KEY to a strong marriage. While opposites attract,\u00a0you’ll drive each other crazy if a “saver” marries a “spender,” or a free spirit marries an authoritarian type. As a divorce attorney, I\u00a0can’t impress upon you enough that\u00a0couples I work with are almost always those who are basically incompatible. Really, really\u00a0explore this area before you marry (this questionnaire is a great start!).<\/p>\n The ability to express anger, disappointment, and frustration in a healthy way is so important.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Telltale signs to look out for are explosive outbursts, sulking if he doesn’t get his way, and\/or not taking your opinion seriously. A good husband is a stand up guy who has your back and doesn’t act like\u00a0a spoiled baby\u00a0who takes up all the oxygen in the room. A modern relationship is equal and balanced. Some people are not capable of sharing and those are the\u00a0very\u00a0people you should avoid.<\/p>\n Your “Man Plan” should also\u00a0address point number five. What do you like to do? What is your idea of fun?\u00a0It’s somewhat\u00a0tragic to see couples who don’t enjoy doing things together\u00a0because their interest are so different. A lady who needs to stay in a good hotel is not going to find\u00a0happiness\u00a0with someone who loves camping outdoors. Be as detailed as possible when making your list. A good husband should\u00a0enjoy doing the things you enjoy, otherwise you’ll be off in separate directions.<\/p>\n Having a sense of humor is vital. People who take themselves too seriously\u00a0or can’t relax and play are\u00a0a drag for those who are fun-loving\u00a0and sociable. Everything comes\u00a0back to basic compatibility. There are serious studies that show marriages based on love alone aren’t a good basis for a marriage.\u00a0The more you have in common, the better off you (and your relationship) will be.<\/p>\n Supporting each other’s interests and careers is a more critical factor,\u00a0than being\u00a0“in love” \u2014 \u00a0an emotion that comes and goes over time.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n I know, call me a kill joy but when it comes down to day-to-day life together, things like being able to have a “fair fight,”\u00a0shared interests and activities, common goals and outlook on life are way more important than that initial hot rush of being in love.<\/p>\n Not everyone is a fan of making lists. It may feel odd putting\u00a0what you’re looking for in a husband down on paper, but if you don’t know what you are looking for how are you going to know when you find it?\u00a0Remember the old adage: “those who fail to plan, plan to fail.”Then,\u00a0start working on that “Man Plan!”<\/p>\n –<\/p>\n Source: Your Tango<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Research tells us that the following 6\u00a0characteristics are essential to creating a happy modern marriage that lasts: 1. Physical Attraction 2. Truly choosing the relationship (rather than saying “I do”\u00a0out of obligation or fear of being alone). 3. Sharing\u00a0fundamental values, beliefs, interests, and goals.\u00a0 4. The ability to\u00a0express anger clearly and\u00a0directly (thus\u00a0resolving differences throughcommunication and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":52951,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-151902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151902","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=151902"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151902\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/52951"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=151902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=151902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=151902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}