{"id":148958,"date":"2015-09-04T17:28:01","date_gmt":"2015-09-04T17:28:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=148958"},"modified":"2015-09-04T21:06:50","modified_gmt":"2015-09-04T21:06:50","slug":"7-relationship-myths-you-need-to-stop-believing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=148958","title":{"rendered":"7 Relationship myths you need to stop believing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Myth #1: People in a relationship don\u2019t flirt. If they do, it means they are unhappy and looking for something else.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Truth: <\/strong>\u201cFlirting\u201d is, by definition, not to be taken seriously. According to research,\u201cFlirting isn\u2019t a sign of discontent, at all.” \u201cThere\u2019s very little to do with flirting that is about you being unhappy with a relationship; that is a construct.\u201d<\/p>\n

But, as is often the case, context matters. One act of flirting isn\u2019t a sign that something is wrong, but if your partner is always flirting in front of you and not paying attention to you, that has more to do with disrespect.\u00a0The flirting is a way in which the disrespect is manifesting. It\u2019s like if I\u2019m always looking at my phone instead of talking to you.<\/p>\n

Casually bantering with another person at the bar is typically not a cause for concern but anything we do can become problematic, depending on how<\/em> we do it. It can be an innocent act, or something that comes from a larger issue \u2014 maybe disrespect of your partner, or one party\u2019s own insecurity and need for validation.<\/p>\n

The essence of flirting is that there is genuinely an innocence to it. It only becomes a problem when there is no innocence to it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Myth #2: Honesty is the best policy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Truth: <\/strong>How many times have we heard \u201cI\u2019m just being honest,\u201d following a particularly cruel, underhanded comment? Sometimes, being truthful is the most caring, respectful thing to do. Sometimes, it\u2019s the harshest comeback \u2014 an undermining way to twist the knife. \u201cTelling the truth can be a hostile maneuver,\u201d Perel says. \u201c\u2018I\u2019m not attracted to you,\u2019 \u2018I think you\u2019re a fat slob.\u2019 But, if you don\u2019t want to be with someone, you can [be honest] in a way where they won\u2019t hear the resonance of that in their head for years to come. That\u2019s respect.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nowadays, however, the idea that you must tell your partner everything is ubiquitous; couples are sharing email passwords as a message of complete transparency. \u201cSharing has become the ethos of perfection \u2014 \u2018I should be able to tell you everything\u2019\u2026 If you don\u2019t [open up], then you have a secret,\u201d Perel says. \u201cBut I think it is very wise to think certain things and not say everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

In fact, research has shown that two different types of lies have opposite effects on relationships. White lies, a.k.a. lies that protect someone\u2019s feelings, can help strengthen a relationship. Meanwhile, lying to cover up something you did wrong \u2014 i.e. deception \u2014 will weaken a relationship. \u201cYou can\u2019t have a blanket statement that says, \u2018everything out in the open is best.\u2019 But that doesn\u2019t mean you hide affairs,\u201d Perel explains. A little white lie to avoid hurting someone\u2019s feelings? That could go a long way to building a lasting relationship.<\/p>\n

Myth #3: Bad sex should always be a relationship <\/strong>deal breaker<\/strong>. It means you aren\u2019t compatible.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Truth: <\/strong>There is a difference between sexual incompatibility and bad sex, Perel says. \u201cIf you have a fundamental lack of attraction to the person, [like] you don\u2019t like the way the person smells, that can be a problem,\u201d Perel says.<\/p>\n

But most people experience bad sex \u2014 especially women. According to the most recent National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, only 64% of women reported having an orgasm during their most recent sexual experience, even though 85% of men claimed their partner did. Another study analyzing data fromSingles in America found that women reported climaxing 62.9% of the time, while men reached orgasm 85.1% of the time. (Of course, great sex doesn\u2019t require orgasm from either party, but orgasm is a pretty good indicator of sexual satisfaction.)<\/p>\n

Luckily, bad sex is completely fixable, and the solution may just start with a little self-exploration. \u201cGood sex is more self-knowledge than anything else,\u201d Perel says. \u201cPeople don\u2019t know their own body and what they like. They know what they don\u2019t like, but they can\u2019t tell you what they like.\u201d<\/p>\n

Once you figure that out, talk about it. \u201cSexual communication is one of the most difficult things to do,\u201d Perel says. \u201cIt\u2019s about giving, taking, asking, refusing, sharing, and receiving, and that\u2019s real communication.\u201d<\/p>\n

–<\/p>\n

Source: Refinery 24<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Myth #1: People in a relationship don\u2019t flirt. If they do, it means they are unhappy and looking for something else. The Truth: \u201cFlirting\u201d is, by definition, not to be taken seriously. According to research,\u201cFlirting isn\u2019t a sign of discontent, at all.” \u201cThere\u2019s very little to do with flirting that is about you being unhappy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":141665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-148958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=148958"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148958\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/141665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=148958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=148958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=148958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}