{"id":14706,"date":"2014-04-22T11:28:53","date_gmt":"2014-04-22T11:28:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=14706"},"modified":"2014-04-22T11:35:27","modified_gmt":"2014-04-22T11:35:27","slug":"its-an-art-exactly-what-to-say-to-men-in-difficult-situations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=14706","title":{"rendered":"It’s an art: Exactly what to say to men in difficult situations"},"content":{"rendered":"

In\u00a0<\/span>dating<\/a>, good communication is the key to meeting and attracting men \u2026 especially the\u00a0right\u00a0men. It’s also the key to developing and maintaining fulfilling\u00a0<\/span>relationships<\/a>. When you\u00a0<\/span>love on purpose<\/a>, you\u00a0communicate on purpose.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the most important ways\u00a0I support my coaching clients<\/a>\u00a0is by helping them communicate well with men. Online or offline, good communication requires certain knowledge and skill. It’s a bit of an art, actually.<\/p>\n

When challenging situations come up, I help women write a script that not only communicates effectively but\u00a0 also feels comfortable and true to who they are.<\/p>\n

Recently I helped my client “Kathy” tell the man she\u2019s been out with four times that she\u2019s not yet ready for\u00a0intimacy<\/a>. She was going to break it off with him, but I convinced her to try to tell him and see how it goes. He seemed like a great guy to me.<\/p>\n

Kathy had that conversation (see our scripting below), and his response was, “Okay \u2026 I can do that. Thanks for telling me!” There you go. Not only did she avert ending a potentially lovely relationship, but she earned his respect and opened up the possibility of further meaningful conversation. Well done!<\/p>\n

Here are some other things\u00a0I’ve helped clients<\/a>\u00a0with lately:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Showing a man she is interested without being too pushy. (Remember: Showing interest and taking the lead are very different things!)<\/p>\n

Apologizing and showing regret for something she said<\/p>\n

Writing killer online dating emails that get read and get responses<\/p>\n

Answering the question \u201cWhy haven\u2019t you been married yet?\u201d when she goes on dates (Ugh\u2026I used to get that question all the time!\u00a0Guys:\u00a0there is a better way to ask this.)<\/p>\n

Here are specific examples for some situations that might come up for you:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

If you want to \u2026<\/em>
\nShow a guy you’re interested without being too pushy\u2026<\/p>\n

Instead of saying \u2026<\/em>
\nI’d like to go out. How about Sunday?<\/p>\n

Say this \u2026<\/em>
\nI really enjoy talking with you. It would be great to do it again some time.<\/p>\n

If you want to\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Tell a man he is going too fast and you are not ready for intimacy\u2026<\/p>\n

Instead of saying \u2026<\/em>
\nYou’re going too fast for me!<\/p>\n

Say this \u2026<\/em>
\nI like you and I’m very interested in getting to know you. When I’m dating I find it works best for me to [fill in with how you would like to proceed]. How does that sound to you?<\/p>\n

If you want to \u2026<\/em>
\nWrite killer online dating emails that are getting read and getting responses \u2026<\/p>\n

Instead of saying \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Hi. I like your profile. I see we have many things in common. Read mine and write if you\u2019re interested.<\/p>\n

Say this\u2026<\/em>
\nHi, Bob. I understand what you said about [thus-and-such], and I completely agree. (Agreeing with a man is very complimentary.) I [did something that shows you have something in common].<\/p>\n

There’s more to the story, and it’s pretty funny. [Create some intrigue and set up for future conversation.] I’d like to know more about [something he has done]. Did you enjoy it? [Or some direct question that’s easy for him to answer.]<\/p>\n

I’m looking forward to hearing from you. [Show that confidence,\u00a0girlfriend<\/a>!]<\/p>\n

If you want to\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Answer the question “Why haven’t you been married yet?”<\/p>\n

Instead of saying \u2026<\/em>
\nIt’s none of your business OR because I haven’t found the right guy yet.<\/p>\n

Say this \u2026<\/em>
\nMy life has been great but just hasn’t gone that way yet. But I\u2019m ready and looking forward to when I meet that terrific guy.<\/p>\n

Communicating on purpose is actually not so hard as we make it to be. And it creates an environment in a relationship where you’re really\u00a0loving on purpose<\/a>. Most men want to understand us, and they want to please us. They just want a little help!<\/p>\n

This is no different than learning how to communicate with your boss or that passive-aggressive gal at work. You need to learn some basics, and then you need to practice.<\/p>\n

Do you see the pattern in all these? When trying to address a potentially difficult situation:<\/p>\n

Be positive<\/p>\n

Be direct<\/p>\n

Speak from the “I”<\/p>\n

Don’t demand<\/p>\n

Try these and tell me how it works for you! Leave your comments here or join my tribe of awesome women over at the\u00a0Date Like a Grownup Facebook Page<\/a>\u00a0and share your experience to help others.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Source: Yourtango.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In\u00a0dating, good communication is the key to meeting and attracting men \u2026 especially the\u00a0right\u00a0men. It’s also the key to developing and maintaining fulfilling\u00a0relationships. When you\u00a0love on purpose, you\u00a0communicate on purpose. One of the most important ways\u00a0I support my coaching clients\u00a0is by helping them communicate well with men. Online or offline, good communication requires certain knowledge […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":14707,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-14706","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14706","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14706"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14706\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14707"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14706"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14706"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14706"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}