As a psychotherapist I\u2019ve always had an interest in mental strength, but my interest in the subject became personal when I experienced a series of losses. In 2003, my mother passed away suddenly from a brain aneurysm. Then, on the third anniversary of her death, my 26-year-old husband died of a heart attack.<\/p>\n
A few years later, my father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I found myself thinking things like, \u201cWhy do I always have to lose everyone? This is isn\u2019t fair.\u201d But ultimately, I knew that way of thinking wasn\u2019t going to be helpful.<\/p>\n
I knew indulging in unhealthy habits, like self-pity, would only provide a temporary distraction from pain. So I sat down and wrote my list of the \u201c13 Things Mentally Strong People Don\u2019t Do\u201d as a reminder to myself of all things I\u2019d need to avoid if I wanted to face another loss with as much strength as I could muster.<\/p>\n
I never imagined that my list would go viral, or that I\u2019d have an opportunity to expand my article into a book. I\u2019m grateful those things happened, but initially, that list was meant for me. And I was glad that I had that list because within a few weeks of writing it, my father-in-law passed away.<\/p>\n
Here are 5 of the 13 things mentally strong people don\u2019t do:<\/p>\n
1. Waste time feeling sorry for themselves<\/b><\/p>\n
While it\u2019s healthy to feel sad sometimes, dwelling on our misfortune and underestimating our ability to cope with pain is destructive. Self-pity keeps us focused on our problems, and prevents us from taking steps to improve our lives. Gratitude is one of the most effective ways to ward off self-pity.<\/p>\n
2. Give away their power<\/b><\/p>\n
Blaming other people for the way we think, feel, or behave provides an easy way to shirk personal responsibility. But the truth is, no one has the power to make<\/i>you mad. You\u2019re in control of your emotions and how you respond to others. Similarly, your boss can\u2019t make<\/i> you work late. There may be consequences if you don\u2019t work late, but it\u2019s a choice. Take back your power by acknowledging your choices.<\/p>\n
3. Fear taking calculated risks<\/b><\/p>\n
Emotions often cloud our judgement. When we\u2019re excited about an opportunity, we underestimate the risk. When we\u2019re anxious however, we overestimate the danger. Balance emotions with logic so you can calculate which risks are worth taking, and move forward with confidence.<\/p>\n
4. Resent other people\u2019s success<\/b><\/p>\n
Watching other people achieve their goals can stir up feelings of envy. But every minute you spend resenting other people\u2019s success takes time away from working toward your goals. Write down your definition of success and focus on cooperating–rather than competing–with those around you.<\/p>\n
5. Make the same mistakes over and over<\/b><\/p>\n
Sometimes, we\u2019re so focused on covering up our mistakes that we don\u2019t learn from them. Rather than make excuses for what went wrong, acknowledge your blunder. Invest your energy into learning from mistakes so you can avoid repeating them.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Source: Fox News<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As a psychotherapist I\u2019ve always had an interest in mental strength, but my interest in the subject became personal when I experienced a series of losses. In 2003, my mother passed away suddenly from a brain aneurysm. Then, on the third anniversary of her death, my 26-year-old husband died of a heart attack. A few […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":126313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[15,36],"class_list":["post-135904","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-chinese","tag-corruption"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135904","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=135904"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135904\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/126313"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=135904"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=135904"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=135904"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}