{"id":131418,"date":"2015-07-04T14:08:04","date_gmt":"2015-07-04T14:08:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=131418"},"modified":"2015-07-04T14:08:04","modified_gmt":"2015-07-04T14:08:04","slug":"4-steps-that-actually-train-your-brain-to-choose-happiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=131418","title":{"rendered":"4 steps that actually TRAIN your brain to choose happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Stop psyching yourself out of joy.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Can you “decide” to feel truly happy?<\/p>\n

According to research from the Mayo clinic, the answer is resounding yes!\u00a0Great,\u00a0right?<\/em><\/p>\n

According to the\u00a0study, the key to\u00a0happiness\u00a0is to focus your attention on the positive. Simple, got it.\u00a0 But wait \u2026 it’s not that easy, is it? (Or we’d already be doing that.)<\/p>\n

Well, yes and no.\u00a0The concept is<\/em> that simple and straightforward, but consistently\u00a0applying the\u00a0concept takes tremendous control and practice. Lots and lots of practice.<\/div>\n

But it is possible.<\/strong><\/p>\n

According to experts, the human mind is\u00a0constantly\u00a0scanning, resulting in a constant stream of thoughts: happy, sad, scared, angry and so on.\u00a0You have to harness those thoughts and decide<\/em>which ones to focus on.\u00a0Yes, you really can choose (even though it’s difficult to do so).<\/p>\n

It helps if you understand why <\/em>it’s so difficult.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Our brains\u00a0default to negative thoughts naturally.\u00a0When you have a thought, your brain experiences an electrical and chemical reaction. Good thoughts and bad thoughts don’t elicit the same reaction \u2026 negative thoughts invoke a\u00a0greater response\u00a0in the brain.<\/div>\n

This\u00a0makes complete sense if you think about it\u00a0\u2014\u00a0<\/strong>early humans\u00a0depended on this default to help protect them\u00a0from harm \u2014 it’s a survival instinct. But as you probably know, survival instincts are a pretty powerful force and by no means\u00a0easy to override.<\/p>\n

Dr. Theodore George, author of Untangling the Mind: Why We Behave The Way We Do<\/em>,\u00a0has studied our ability to override\u00a0survival instincts. What he found is that it is possible, over time, to gain control over what our brain perceives as a\u00a0negative thought or a “threat message.”<\/p>\n

With practice, you can re-train your brain to label that message ‘harmless,’\u00a0so that your brain no longer has to pay attention to it.<\/p>\n

In my practice as a divorce coach, I encounter this struggle with negative thinking all of the time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Clients come to me in all stages of divorce\u00a0\u2014\u00a0but\u00a0regardless of where they are in the divorce process (just starting it or years down the road), they still feel bitter, angry, and\u00a0deeply unhappy. I think they’ve gotten stuck. In other words, they’ve permanently defaulted to negative thoughts.<\/p>\n

I help them exercise their “muscle” of positive thinking. <\/strong>Over time, we shift their thinking so that they are able to default to the positive, rather than the negative.<\/p>\n

Think about this: If you believe your ex is a vindictive monster seeking revenge, this belief will lead to feelings of hate, rage, fear, and defensiveness. You will act on these feelings\u00a0and you may even take actions, that you will regret or be embarrassed about later. All of these repetitive thoughts and actions further reinforce this negative belief in your brain’s wiring.<\/p>\n

However,\u00a0by deciding to believe\u00a0that your ex is just as hurt and disappointed as you are, this invites feelings of empathy,\u00a0understanding, and forgiveness. Those feelings lead to more positive behaviors that you are unlikely to regret later.<\/p>\n

I call this “taking the high road.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let’s say your ex is undeniably making things more difficult than necessary\u00a0\u2014\u00a0lying, tossing out accusations, refusing to resolve things, trying to hurt you financially\u00a0\u2014\u00a0you still have a choice. You can choose to believe\u00a0that your ex is making poor choices and that’s his problem, not yours. Yes, you’ll still have to deal with the fallout, there is no escaping that. But, if you work to see the positive side whenever you can, you’ll feel better and stronger and therefore be able to handle whatever comes your way.<\/p>\n

Will you fall down along the way?\u00a0Most certainly.\u00a0This doesn’t come naturally\u00a0to anyone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Replacing\u00a0an old thinking pattern with a new one takes\u00a0repetition, persistence, and determination. Perhaps you can begin, not by trying to change how you think about anything and everything at once, but choose one thing for now. Think about something in your life that is troublesome or making you miserable, and walk through these steps:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0Think about your thinking.<\/strong>\u00a0What do you believe about this person or this situation? What else could be true here? What would an outsider to the situation say? How could you think about it in a neutral or positive way?<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0Choose a different path.<\/strong>\u00a0Choose how you can think about this in a positive light.\u00a0Consciously decide to think that way. How does that make you feel?\u00a0As a result, how might you feel and act differently from now on?<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0Check in often. <\/strong>Stop regularly to take stock. This is a slow process. If you catch yourself thinking negatively, hit “reset” in your brain. Think the thought again, with a positive spin. Check in with yourself at the end of the day \u2026 was today a little better?<\/p>\n

4. Practice (practice, practice).\u00a0<\/strong>In addition to catching yourself, as often as you can, try journaling.\u00a0Once a week, stop to write down three good things about your life. Psychologists Stephen\u00a0Schueller\u00a0and Acacia Parks completed a\u00a0study\u00a0in 2012 that found,\u00a0the simple exercise of writing down three things you are grateful for “has been shown to provide, both, an immediate and lasting effect on happiness” for up to six months.\u00a0Why not give it a try?<\/p>\n

I’m guessing that if this article caught your eye, you would like to have more happiness in your life.Taking the time to focus on the positive\u00a0will be worth the time and effort. Letting go of negativity in your life will allow you to live a happier, fuller life. Start harnessing that happiness today.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Source: Yourtango.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Stop psyching yourself out of joy. Can you “decide” to feel truly happy? According to research from the Mayo clinic, the answer is resounding yes!\u00a0Great,\u00a0right? According to the\u00a0study, the key to\u00a0happiness\u00a0is to focus your attention on the positive. Simple, got it.\u00a0 But wait \u2026 it’s not that easy, is it? (Or we’d already be doing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":131421,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[15,36],"class_list":["post-131418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-chinese","tag-corruption"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131418","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=131418"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131418\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/131421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=131418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=131418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=131418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}