{"id":12512,"date":"2014-04-11T09:49:19","date_gmt":"2014-04-11T09:49:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/4cd.e16.myftpupload.com\/?p=12512"},"modified":"2014-04-11T09:49:19","modified_gmt":"2014-04-11T09:49:19","slug":"10-most-common-reasons-husbands-are-unhappy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/?p=12512","title":{"rendered":"10 most common reasons husbands are unhappy"},"content":{"rendered":"

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The expert says:<\/strong>\u00a0Whether you work in an office, run a household, or some combination of the two, you\u2019re both likely frustrated with your heaping plates of responsibility. And although it\u2019s a natural reaction, piling on more the second your partner steps through the door is not the best way to get him to hear or help you. \u201cInstead of leading with a list, understand that he may need a few minutes to unwind,\u201d says Kara Thompson, a licensed family and marriage therapist in Lenexa, KS. You\u2019ll both listen better when you\u2019ve decompressed and can actually focus on the issues at hand.<\/p>\n

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Good news:<\/strong> If you both feel like you need more one-on-one time, you\u2019re already on the same page, which means you\u2019re well on your way. The next step is to stop keeping a mental score sheet of who made plans the last time, and put it on both of you to jump at the opportunity to say, see a band you like when they perform nearby, or try a new restaurant with an innovative menu. In the end, it matters\u00a0way<\/em>\u00a0less who dealt with the logistics than the fact that you bonded and enjoyed your time together.<\/p>\n

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There\u2019s no question that having an open dialogue about your children is important, but we understand why it can get tedious after a while. Once the kids go to bed, or while they\u2019re out at weekend activities, make an effort to chat about light-hearted topics, like the results of a Buzzfeed quiz you both took, as well as more serious news or political issues to keep you connected and stimulated as a couple.<\/p>\n

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Relationships change and evolve, and sometimes the very qualities that attracted you to your husband are the ones that wind up making you nuts. It could be that you\u2019re simply too stressed with the day-to-day to experience romance the same way\u2014and that\u2019s okay. The key is to come to a collective understanding of what sweet gestures now do it for you. A change of environment may do it\u2014consider getting away from the grind and going away for a long weekend.<\/p>\n

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\u201cSwitches don\u2019t just get turned off,\u201d says Thompson. \u201cThere is usually something more going on in situations like this.\u201d If you felt like you had to put on a mask to get your husband to marry you, you may want to examine what\u2019s beneath the surface that made you feel that way. \u201cWhen individual issues come up in therapy, I think it\u2019s important for both partners to look at them together.\u201d<\/p>\n

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If you\u2019re unhappy about how much your husband helps out around the house, make sure you understand where he\u2019s coming from. What you see as slacking may be his thinking a hands-off approach is a sign of respect and trust. \u201cSpeak up and let him know when his help would be appreciated,\u201d says Thompson. And on the flip side\u2014if you have trouble letting go of doing every single thing\u2014ask yourself what it would look like if you started to delegate. Would it really be so bad if the\u00a0dishwasher<\/a>\u00a0was loaded differently, or would you end up with clean plates anyway?<\/p>\n

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If one person\u2019s faith is diverging from the other\u2019s beliefs, make a joint effort to stay on the same page\u2014or at least close chapters\u2014as much as possible. \u201cIf you feel like his spiritual efforts aren\u2019t good enough, you need to be honest with yourself and your husband,\u201d says Thompson. Figure out what he\u00a0can\u00a0<\/em>do to connect with you spiritually and otherwise, and consider enlisting the help of your religious leader, who\u2019s likely dealt with issues like this before.<\/p>\n

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Both you and your husband deserve equal say in your marriage, so it shouldn\u2019t be up to one person to determine your sexual state as a couple. That\u2019s partially because far more often than not, lack of sex is the symptom\u2014not the problem. \u201cWhen you get into pattern for a really long time, it can be painful and difficult to change those habits,\u201d says Thompson. If you\u2019re dealing with a chasm this wide, it\u2019s worth considering couple\u2019s counseling.<\/p>\n

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It\u2019s human nature to occasionally get so wrapped up in your own issues that it\u2019s difficult to see another\u2019s perspective. \u201cWhen we protect ourselves, we feel like we are the only one who feels a certain way,\u201d says Thompson. \u201cBut once you sit down together and start looking at yourselves and how you\u2019ve been impacted, most partners realize they feel the exact same way.\u201d Voice your feeling of isolation before the next crisis comes up so that you have a plan in place for when things get tough, like agreeing to take a few hours for yourself, then sitting down for a coffee and heart-to-heart.<\/p>\n

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Being passionate about and invested in your career is a good thing, but like much else, it\u2019s a question of balance. You may not suddenly be able to give up working from home, or checking in with your boss via email, but you can set some basic guidelines that distinguish between personal and professional time. That might mean agreeing to after-hours tasks only every-other day, or turning off your email alerts after 9 p.m. so that you and your husband can give each other your undivided attention.<\/p>\n

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Source:\u00a0womansday.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The expert says:\u00a0Whether you work in an office, run a household, or some combination of the two, you\u2019re both likely frustrated with your heaping plates of responsibility. And although it\u2019s a natural reaction, piling on more the second your partner steps through the door is not the best way to get him to hear or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":12525,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[51],"class_list":["post-12512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-ports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12512"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12512\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12525"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citifmonline.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}