The saying goes that when a door closes, leave it shut. But in matters of love, what if that nagging feeling won’t go away — to have one more peek at what you left behind?
This saying applies easily to relationships. When one ends, especially badly, never getting the closure you need can only tug at your mind, filling it with what-ifs: What if he hates me? What could I have done better? What if I try one last time and talk to him?
Closure is important after the ending of any relationship, but the question is, do we really need it? Some people who are more than pleased to wipe their hands clean of a relationship may say no, but what about the rest of us? What about those who feel as though they need closure in order to signal that it’s okay to move on?
It’s going to be different for everyone. I personally don’t like leaving a relationship with loose ends, or on bad terms with the person hating me or never wanting to speak again. It’s animosity that can eat away at a person and make them feel as though things are truly never finished.
It’s up to you to decide if you want closure or not. If you do, here are a few options:
- Write a letter, but don’t send it.
This is easily one of the best ways to be as honest as you possibly can. It’s a chance to put your heart on the page and release any of the pent-up anger and sadness you’ve been carrying.
- Learn to accept that the relationship didn’t work, and move on.
Not all relationships work, so learn to accept it. Think for a moment now on your past relationships — you may just have a few that never ended well, but with time, you healed. Acceptance is key here. Don’t resist the nagging feeling that you need closure; simply accept and trust that you will eventually be okay.
- Reach out for contact with the person.
Before using this option, be aware and prepared that he or she may not want to hear what you have to say. You can’t go into it with high expectations, so go into the situation doing it for yourself instead. Perhaps even consider blocking them so you can’t see if they responded or not. Just be happy that you were brave enough to say what you wanted to say.