By: Nana Akua Owusu
“After my first experience school was never the same, I would always panic whenever I had to make a statement, I drew back from conversations in class and was always reserved, outside my class I would hardly speak because I didn’t want members of other classes to know I stammer. Whenever I spoke in class and there was an experience, I could tell by the looks on the faces of my class mates they were trying very hard not to burst out in laughter, some couldn’t control it, at a point in time I wouldn’t speak unless spoken to, as time went on my mates got used to it and I also got used to being the ‘quiet’ boy in class.” – Felix
“I was gently practicing my breathing exercises”. ‘Breathe in deep into the lower abdomen. Make sure you see your hand move out when you breath in’, said the therapist. “So, I was seriously practising while counting down for my turn to read out loud in class. I had just started to relax and strayed into thinking about a movie I watched previously, when the bell went for the end of the lesson. I didn’t know whether to be happy or not at the missed opportunity to try out my new strategy for reducing the fear of reading in class. – Amma
What it’s like to stammer
Now, who would like to be in the shoes of any of the above persons and live a life of fear and anxiety anytime you have to open your mouth? Yet, communication is so pervasive in daily life that it is unthinkable that anyone can live in this world and not have to talk when they have the mechanism for doing so. For a moment, however, I would like you to consider how frustrating talking can be for someone who struggles to get their words out through no fault of theirs.
For many people who stammer, they only have to be seen to be attempting to join in a conversation and they very easily become the butt of teasing, jokes and ridicule by others who seem to have absolutely no clue about the extent of their mockery. Speech for most people can become halting and broken with adequate pressure but for a person with a stammer, it takes much less pressure to make them stumble. People who do not stammer have very little appreciation of the negative impact, in terms of the pain and stress that persons with a stammer have to endure throughout their entire lives.
Impact of stammering
Just for a moment, place yourself in Felix’s position and consider the range of emotions that could be going on for him.How would you feel when your desperate attempts to be part of a lively, interesting conversation or activity, ends up with people, looking away or past you, looking awkward and somewhat uninterested in what you are saying but more focused on how you are saying it?
Picture yourself approaching someone you have been waiting to speak to for a while. You see him slowly extend his hand to you in a handshake and say his name loud and clear. Suddenly, the idea of saying your name back to complete the social interaction fills you with fear. With your hand already extended in the hand of your partner, you begin to feel the sweat as it starts to gather in your palm, your throat dries up from tensed muscles and your mouth is slightly ajar as if in slow motion and as if you do not know what you want to say. Then with a sudden burst Paaa…. “Joe Mills” jerks out with a force greater than you ever intended, leaving you feeling awkward and somewhat embarrassed. From then, the rest of your encounter is ruined and all you can think of is how much you’ve just disgraced yourself in front of this person and how awful that you can’t say your own name at will. Clearly, knowing what you want to say but finding it difficult to get started or starting a point and struggling to complete it can be extremely frustrating and take up much from people who stammer.Sheehan, a prominent researcher in stammering, compared stammering to an iceberg. He said that the stammering behaviours seen above the water surface, such as repetitions, blocks, substituted words, body movements and the like are simply just a tip of the iceberg. The real underlying bases for what maintains stammering, he said, lurks unseen in the depths. Molt L, (2011)
Fear of talking
A single episode of stammering, which is speech characterized by repetitions, prolongations, long silences or blocks and sometimes unusual body movements, while reaching for your words, can become an event of ridicule, shame and an emotion ridden experience that sets the tone for all future speaking engagements. Panic, anxiety and fear every time one is expected to talkcan very quickly become the order of the day for many who stammer.
Culprit sounds, words or situations that are believed to trigger a stammer are often avoided like a plague. Auntie Margaret becomes Kofi’s mother’s sister to avoid the thought of stammering on auntie. After the first successful attempt at avoiding or substituting, most people quickly learn how to stay away from sounds and words they believe might make them stammer. Sometimes, the process to avoid a sound or a word can create further anxiety and stress when the speaker is unable to quickly fill in with another word. Can you imagine how stressful this process can be for anyone in everyday conversation?
People who stammer: short-tempered?
Felix could hear the sniggers and giggles that were often present only when he got up to speak in class. As a young person, who has just started to become more aware of himself, this situation can create much bitterness, frustration and evenanger. Is it surprising then, that people who do not stammer tend to see those who do as short-tempered? If you had to bottle up for years the teasing and ridicule, the jokes and fun others poke at you because you have a speech disorder you wish you didn’t have but have no control over. If you had to become the “quiet” or “shy’ young man or woman when you know deep within you it’s just a cover up to hide a speech difficulty, would you not possibly scream at the eleventh person who tells you how quiet and controlled you are?
If you always wanted to become a doctor, lawyer, TV or radio presenter or any of these career areas that demand some level of impeccable speaking skills and people constantly reminded you that you cannot; not because you are not capable but because you are saddled with a speech difficulty that somehow makes others want to laugh and shame you rather than find ways to make things better for you to achieve your aim, would you not flare up one day in anger when you see others less clever than you being encouraged to take up similar roles?
Helping the person with a stammer
Stammering is no laughing matter and should not be quickly dismissed and ignored, especially by parents, employers and people in authority, who sometimes make the person with a stammer seem like they can easily put a stop to it by themselves. Shouting at a child to speak properly, casting funny glances or subtly ignoring an employee with a stammer can only make the situation more difficult and cause more stammering behavior for anyone who stammers.
It is well documented, that people who stammer have absolutely nothing wrong with their intellect and can boast of skills and qualities that place them on the same level as others who do not stammer. Creating a calm, I’m interested in what you have to say kind of environment for a person who stammers, finding out from them how best you can support them when they are finding it difficult to get their words out, informing yourself about stammering and showing concern can make a world of difference for many who stammer. When one knows they will not be teased or ridiculed, it reduces the fear of talking and that in turn helps their muscles to be more relaxed and improve their breathing for speech.
October 22 is World Stammering Day
22 October is designated International Stammering Awareness Day (ISAD) to raise awareness about stammering and educate the general public on the impact of stammering on society as a whole. The Ghana Stammering Association is organising a seminar at the British Council to celebrate the Day on Saturday Nov 1, 8am – 11am. ISAD is a perfect opportunity for us to review our attitudes to people who stammer and to look for ways to engage in a manner that will leave positive images and concepts about ourselves for the general development of our communities and nation.
Wishing all who stammer a stammer-free day, at least on 22nd October for boldness, to share their experiences with others!.
References
Molt Larry, (2011), “attacking the iceberg of stuttering: icepicks, axes, and sunshine!” cited in cited in Advice to those who stutter pg 111, the STUTTERING FOUNDATION. Memphis. USA
The STUTTERING FOUNDATION (2011) if your child stutters; a guide for parents 7th Edition. The Stuttering Foundation. Memphis. USA
The Writer is a speech and Language Therapist/Clinical Tutor
School of Biomedical and Allied Health Sciences
University of Ghana.