They say nice guys finish last and—for most of us—that’s probably true, considering the not-so-nice ones we’ll often date before meeting Mr. Right.
In retrospect, most of us are able to understand that these guys weren’t right for us, but getting to that place probably wasn’t easy. It’s because of that we decided to put together a primer to help other women gauge whether the guys they’re dating right now are good ones, or totally not.
Read on, dear friends, for 10 signs your boyfriend is an unequivocal jerk. And check out Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s advice on how to weed out losers in the video above.
1. He looks at his phone more than he looks at you.
Obviously we live in an overly-connected world, and most of us are pretty much attached to our devices 24/7. However, obsessively checking his phone every minute he’s with you isn’t just annoying—it’s downright rude.
It’s essentially saying that your company isn’t his first priority, texting is (or checking scores, scrolling Twitter, or playing Candy Crush.) Instagram can wait. No, it can’t? Then he’s probably not ready to have a relationship with an actual human just yet.
2. He talks about how hot other women are.
Sorry, we don’t care how “cool” you are with stuff like this—if your man is constantly making remarks about other women’s looks in front of you, he’s a jerk. These might include “she’s so hot” when you’re explaining how Sansa escapes from King’s Landing on “Game of Thrones,” how much hotter his friend’s new girlfriend is than his old one, or simply commenting on random women’s looks/bodies/racks.
3. He blatantly checks them out.
Guess what? He’s still a jerk if he uses overt non-verbal actions to gawk at women. Look, it’s human nature that we like to look at pretty things—you’d look at a gorgeous guy walking by, too—but outwardly gaping, drooling, head-turning, commenting, or abrupt conversation-stopping isn’t acceptable, it’s insulting. Dude needs to learn some discretion, and fast. If he can’t, it’s time for him to go.
4. He only reaches out after he’s been partying.
This is a big one, ladies. If you’re okay with having a relationship with a guy who only wants to see you when he’s tipsy at 2 a.m., who are we to judge? For all we know, you might have some guys on the side you late-night call, too. But if you’re looking for something more—a daylight outing, for example—and you’re not getting it, he’s a jerk.
5. He never wants to hang out with you and his friends together.
That’s just weird. If you’re dating someone, it’s a given that you do certain things together, like socializing. If he constantly seems to be avoiding his pals when he’s with you, it’s time to ask him why.